The threshold of perception

Sometimes we are offended by their relatives or very close friends because they "not" react to our words, requests, circumstances of life. Not as sensitive, not emotionally, not so fast, not so deep, not so sincerely, as we would like. Happens so much in need of support, and at this moment our family is for us the right words or time, I want to share great joy, and the person responds with a very cool and reserved, I think, that there is a shoulder of a trusted friend, but sometimes a person pulls away from us exactly when most needed. These situations hurt, because in difficult times we are most open and vulnerable.
 

When dealing with a large number of men and women, I noticed how much different perception of the same situation by different people. Sometimes people are so negative comments about someone, and then meet personally with those whom you told, and I understand that in reality, people very different looks and behaves. Over time I learned not to take for granted the word about other people until I see them live, for some of the narrators in my head immediately POPs up a window "divide by ten". Listen to the man, but divided by ten. People are good talkers, but sometimes the prism of their perception drastically changes what is seen by others. It depends I mean is that don't hurry to take literally everything he says to you, do not rush to take offense at the unusual reaction, because each of us has his own threshold of sensitivity in regards to a person's life - someone, without further ADO, rush to rescue his friend, even if it is not strength and capabilities (what looks heroically, of course, but does not always lead to good results) and will stand long, think and doubt. And because doubt is not always bad, because they do not refer to, you deserve help or not, they are often about that — if I can handle the pain of a loved one, can I really do something to help or make things worse? And you know, you can tens of years to communicate with some person very normal, but one day you will be surprised yourself if you suddenly have to face a force majeure event life of a loved one. Not always know how you'll react until you've been in this situation. We can assume the possible scenarios, but the reality may differ from your assumptions. As I often say, outdoor life is very domestic in nature. Many hours, days, months and years each of us consists of the most common repetitive rituals and events. Often events happen simply and casually. Difficulties and problems come also casually, and do not ask too much, we were preparing for him or not. And our loved ones too are not always ready for our bad mood, problems with finances, challenges at work, deteriorating health, etc. In everyday business or fellowship, we often do not go to any extreme condition, and therefore don't know to be honest how small or large is our threshold of perception and tolerance of someone who lives and works near us, so you should always try to make allowances for the fact that in times of hardship and in you and in those around manifest very unusual behavior. Each person has their own experience on which it is based, each has its own nevalinna pain, which is either in resonance with yours or not, and each of us has a great variety of defensive reactions. For example, you come to your father and say that her husband left her for another woman. Some fathers will go immediately to deal with the offender's daughter, like a man, right? And the others just silently nod. Silently nod, because they don't know how to react to the pain of a loved one that is impossible to appease. You know, not all people are able to Express their feelings, not all people know how to give support, not everyone get time to find the right words, not everyone is able to be a Comforter. Sometimes the people around are so scared of the pain of a person that they prefer to close it, begins to deny the problem and issue reactions from the series: "do not worry you, it's all nonsense, come to think about it will not go to have fun" :) Also an option, of course, but not for all cases suitable. Unconscious devaluation problems — a kind of protective reaction (sometimes even conscious — it's a good kind of therapeutic work with situations, but it requires certain skills and abilities). Still it happens that people have never before been faced with similar circumstances, so know how hard you in this time, often, in fact, not until you encounter something, do not understand approximately and he can feel the other person. So it seems that someone is too dry react to your news about the problems at work, difficulties in relationships and in other spheres of life. Often children resent parents for "wrong education" and begin to redefine the relationship to them only when they themselves have children. Wives blame husbands for their apathy and negligence, although it sometimes happens that a man is not taught properly to support, he does it somehow differently, and not always goes smoothly and warmly, like a friend. Annoying husbands on the wives, that those do not believe in them or constantly suggest to open your heart and talk to him :) Women do it only because they think that if it makes me feel better conversations, and my husband is bound to help) Yes, a lot of what happens in life. We need to try to be tolerant of other people, trying to love his family more than the actions they commit. "Wounded, hurt, healed, healer." If someone doesn't love you the way you want, perhaps it's because no one ever loved him the way he wanted?) Try to be attentive to the world of the other person, learn to hear, learn to cooperate, to love, support, and endlessly forgiving — a great practice of mindfulness, we strongly recommend to test it on my own life. published

Source: www.mudrayavesta.ru/article/90/386/