About the power of powerlessness

The paradox, it would seem: what power can give the recognition of their limitations? It's not something I do or did. Not what I achieve or have achieved. Not achievements, achievements, records...

Exactly the opposite...

It's about the fact that I couldn't. AND YOU NEVER WILL.
About what is not received. AND WILL NEVER GET.
About what did not survive. AND WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND...

Followed by some people it seems to me that some points of our life, development is not only due to the achievements and raise strap personal records. No less important in the attainment of maturity is played by the recognition and appropriation of their losses and limitations. As long as the person is not ready to face, or rather my heart, to meet his inevitable impotence in some, he remains a “child” with a belief in his omnipotence. He is craving the love of parents, which is not received. Suffer about the opportunities missed in childhood. To worry about the elections that were done before...

On hold these needs and stay in different feelings about “old” facts spent an incredible bunch of energy. It's like a bottomless hole, “I think this topic has already been finalised. But calling mom, and again, I fall into this black hole of resentment. I'm swamped by the pain.” Or, “How much I do for my dad, he still does not appreciate and does not recognize me”...

At some stage of therapy, for example, or in personal promotion sometimes we are able to come to the point where it begins a “new count”: “On the banks of the river Piedra I sat down and wept”.
Mom will NEVER give me what I want.
Dad will NEVER tell me what I so hard to achieve.
Brother will NEVER relinquish my place pet parents.
I will NEVER be able to save their parents.
I'll NEVER become him mom, no matter how much I sacrifice...

And if before such powerlessness was covering the rage of a small child that something is not inherited or, on the contrary, have not got the forces, after the recognition of these limitations and mourning lost opportunities, loss of senses, etc. arises at first the emptiness. But it's better than “funnel”, which used to take a lot of effort. Then gradually, over the recognition of his powerlessness to affect it comes to dealing with losses that are irrecoverable...

This kind of funeral, what time to die...
And this is exactly the case when “humility” from the word “peace” in the soul... Not once, but gradually...
And by the way, a lot of the adult – the ability to meet with their limitations and powerlessness and recognize them. 80 level of maturity.published

Julia Pirumova

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: alpha-parenting.ru