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Disappointment. Why is this not a true feeling
Imagine you were building a castle. For fun, something light and beautiful. Fantasies, dreams, filled with the most beautiful, the most perfect ideas. Winusername and hard-won, beautiful in its brightness, fairness, ability to improve their lives and the world in General. The beauty and perfection of the "material" is directly proportional to the fact that you are surrounded by. For example, if you lived in cold and harsh environments, your castle was in a warmer climate with a large fireplace and sofas for guests. And so on...
Gradually building captured you. Plunging into it, you received a breath of fresh air. What is more upsetting was the situation around you, the more hope you put in is construction. And the laws of magic. If something of so much to invest, it starts to look like the real thing. As coined by friends with autistic children. You start to believe in the reality of your illusions and seek him. You can infect others with your ideas and they will become your colleagues. You can do everything your power to direct it. Because now we have to find in real life that you so well designed (Yes! Designed the layout, and not built for real) inside. You visualize your layout and apply it to those who are looking.
For example, your illusion about harmonious relationship in which the other person will surely understand and love you, got you treat it well. The other begins to try to come to dispel the illusion, she also likes. But it does not fit. A real person cannot meet the requirements of illusions, remember, they're perfect? And this other chosen, may simply disappear, because its imperfection, and maybe it is you to get angry. He, too, wants to be accepted for what it is. You're in shock! You wanted something special, only a harmonious relationship! And this is the moment of disillusionment. You experience the only feeling, which is always the result – DISAPPOINTMENT. Well, sense and feeling. But no. This is one of the most painful feelings familiar to man. But why is the most interesting. Disappointment is the result of disillusionment. And crashing the project, which thanks to the magic filling his real force of the feelings and thoughts became heavy. House of cards has turned into concrete. And this concrete falls on your head, causing not illusory pain. Here such a mechanism...
You expected that the team will appreciate your ability to work and will you cherish? But it turned out that you prevent others are justified to do anything, and your background, they run the risk of being fired.
Did you expect so romantic and caring for you the man will be good husband? No comment...
You thought that cute girl with the appearance of an angel cannot change? Also no comment...
You were hoping that psychology protects you mistakes in the choice of people or blows of fate?
You thought that if you appealed to a well-known expert, he won't make a mistake? How about the fact that he is not God? He was tired, or proud, or in the morning quarreled with his wife (a policeman, a neighbor) He had no right?
You were hoping that your unwavering faith in God will take the projectile from your home? Maybe you just do not really understand about his plan?
You hoped that if you've devoted my life to children, they will go the way that you like? Maybe you did not realize that you are a separate people?
You are amazed that your therapist is not ready to love you like a mother? More precisely, better than his own mother, otherwise you would it has not asked. You might be confusing psychotherapy with parenting and did not realize that you're not a baby?
You are very disappointed that the government has not fulfilled its obligations on pensions? You seem to have decided that the state is not a structure managed by people (not always the best, by the way)?
You're angry with your favorite singer, song which was a symbol of freedom in his youth that he suddenly "turned" and you are ideologically not aligned? Perhaps you did not realize that creativity and personality are two separate structures?
You participate in sports regularly, eating low-fat food, did not drink alcohol and did not smoke and died at 56 from a heart attack? Nobody will say that science is not omnipotent?
And so on to infinity...
Now for a bit will flow into the grandness that you know exactly what to say and write the following:
The illusion was needed. They helped us to survive and not die of grief, what the world is. We needed time to grow, to get stronger and learn to deal with it. If we demanded perfection, we continue to do it with myself and the world. We live in childish, magical thinking, in which a grown man believes in Santa Claus and the adult aunt to win in a financial pyramid. The essence is the same.
Reality can be ugly. It can be horrible, disgusting, unbearable. But this is only part of it. There is another. Lovely, beautiful, inspiring. It can be seen immediately. First the minus, then plus. Why? Because you first need to check the security, and then enjoy. This is the logic.
To make this difficult. It seems that it is impossible. The pain can be unbearable. Needed someone at this point who support. Who can say that Yes, death is. There are grief, trouble, evil, injustice. Not always it depends on us. Sometimes we are powerless.
We have to fall out of the sky illusions of this reality. Better to do it yourself, in a controlled descent. Then you can keep bones intact, to get rid of bruises.
If it will make life, and she will not even hesitate, you can break the ridge.
That's all. See you in reality.published
Author: Alla Dalit
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/razocharovanie-pochemu-eto-ne-istinnoe-chuvstvo/
Gradually building captured you. Plunging into it, you received a breath of fresh air. What is more upsetting was the situation around you, the more hope you put in is construction. And the laws of magic. If something of so much to invest, it starts to look like the real thing. As coined by friends with autistic children. You start to believe in the reality of your illusions and seek him. You can infect others with your ideas and they will become your colleagues. You can do everything your power to direct it. Because now we have to find in real life that you so well designed (Yes! Designed the layout, and not built for real) inside. You visualize your layout and apply it to those who are looking.
For example, your illusion about harmonious relationship in which the other person will surely understand and love you, got you treat it well. The other begins to try to come to dispel the illusion, she also likes. But it does not fit. A real person cannot meet the requirements of illusions, remember, they're perfect? And this other chosen, may simply disappear, because its imperfection, and maybe it is you to get angry. He, too, wants to be accepted for what it is. You're in shock! You wanted something special, only a harmonious relationship! And this is the moment of disillusionment. You experience the only feeling, which is always the result – DISAPPOINTMENT. Well, sense and feeling. But no. This is one of the most painful feelings familiar to man. But why is the most interesting. Disappointment is the result of disillusionment. And crashing the project, which thanks to the magic filling his real force of the feelings and thoughts became heavy. House of cards has turned into concrete. And this concrete falls on your head, causing not illusory pain. Here such a mechanism...
You expected that the team will appreciate your ability to work and will you cherish? But it turned out that you prevent others are justified to do anything, and your background, they run the risk of being fired.
Did you expect so romantic and caring for you the man will be good husband? No comment...
You thought that cute girl with the appearance of an angel cannot change? Also no comment...
You were hoping that psychology protects you mistakes in the choice of people or blows of fate?
You thought that if you appealed to a well-known expert, he won't make a mistake? How about the fact that he is not God? He was tired, or proud, or in the morning quarreled with his wife (a policeman, a neighbor) He had no right?
You were hoping that your unwavering faith in God will take the projectile from your home? Maybe you just do not really understand about his plan?
You hoped that if you've devoted my life to children, they will go the way that you like? Maybe you did not realize that you are a separate people?
You are amazed that your therapist is not ready to love you like a mother? More precisely, better than his own mother, otherwise you would it has not asked. You might be confusing psychotherapy with parenting and did not realize that you're not a baby?
You are very disappointed that the government has not fulfilled its obligations on pensions? You seem to have decided that the state is not a structure managed by people (not always the best, by the way)?
You're angry with your favorite singer, song which was a symbol of freedom in his youth that he suddenly "turned" and you are ideologically not aligned? Perhaps you did not realize that creativity and personality are two separate structures?
You participate in sports regularly, eating low-fat food, did not drink alcohol and did not smoke and died at 56 from a heart attack? Nobody will say that science is not omnipotent?
And so on to infinity...
Now for a bit will flow into the grandness that you know exactly what to say and write the following:
The illusion was needed. They helped us to survive and not die of grief, what the world is. We needed time to grow, to get stronger and learn to deal with it. If we demanded perfection, we continue to do it with myself and the world. We live in childish, magical thinking, in which a grown man believes in Santa Claus and the adult aunt to win in a financial pyramid. The essence is the same.
Reality can be ugly. It can be horrible, disgusting, unbearable. But this is only part of it. There is another. Lovely, beautiful, inspiring. It can be seen immediately. First the minus, then plus. Why? Because you first need to check the security, and then enjoy. This is the logic.
To make this difficult. It seems that it is impossible. The pain can be unbearable. Needed someone at this point who support. Who can say that Yes, death is. There are grief, trouble, evil, injustice. Not always it depends on us. Sometimes we are powerless.
We have to fall out of the sky illusions of this reality. Better to do it yourself, in a controlled descent. Then you can keep bones intact, to get rid of bruises.
If it will make life, and she will not even hesitate, you can break the ridge.
That's all. See you in reality.published
Author: Alla Dalit
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/razocharovanie-pochemu-eto-ne-istinnoe-chuvstvo/
