Every man needs to know!
I – Justin Shparber, and I'm a marriage counselor. I work with men and women who get lost in the marriage. And although the problems are usually all seem different, men should know that if these are the problem, then usually it is one and the same.
And for this reason they are thrown wife.
They feel terrible at the same time. Their heart is torn. But they do it. They collect in a fist all his courage and all his strength. And leave men with whom they share children, homes and lives. Almost always this is for one reason and one reason only. And I want a man, it is thoroughly learned.
Women leave because their man is no longer!Not in the sense that they are not at all. They just do not present in their lives.
They work. Play Golf or computer games. Watching TV. Go fishing... the list goes on.
Men, we are talking about, are not bad people. They are good people. They are good fathers. They support their family. They are pleasant, cute. But they take their wives for granted. They are interested in. Their wives aren't in their life, although everything usually looks different.One woman expressed it good in my office:
"Who should come home in the evening and support me emotionally. But this man is not my husband. My husband spit on me even when I cry".
Listen. I'm not here to judge anyone. I'm not going to tell you what's right and what's not. I will tell you only about what I see every day. You may feel angry or indignant.
Your wife is not your property. She doesn't love you with all my heart. This love needs to make money. Day by day, moment by moment. Just as you earn money. You have to earn it — not with money or social status, and their attention. She must feel that you care. She should know that her words and experiences have meaning for you. She needs to know that you listen to it.
Don't nod politely and distantly, when she tells you. Don't keep her calm monotone, "all will be well." Do not play the role of devil's advocate.
She wants you to feel her. She doesn't want to be near her you have always been diffused apparatus for quick sex. She wants to feel passion not only for fishing but also for her. Your marriage is alive as long as you both feel the passion. Are you sure it's not extinguished?
But if you have lost this quality, why? Where did it go? Will figure it out. Or find that passion again. And do not make excuses turbulent times. Everything and always live in turbulent times.
If you think is really present in the conversation, try to listen to her. To truly listen. Don't use extraneous thoughts, until she emotionally tells you about their problems. Look her in the eye. Hold the look. The only way to be comfortable and her and you.If she asks about something, answer truly, and not just Ammonites. Delve into the essence of what she says.
Try to get to know her. Believe me, even after many years of marriage, she has something that you can explore every day.
Communicate with her with full attention. If you take her by the hand, notice the sensations in the hand. Pay attention to what is happening in the moment when you touch or hug each other.
What happens in your body? What do you feel? Pay attention to your most subtle feelings and emotions. (Sometimes called mindfulness). Share with her your experiences.
Of course, you're too busy for that. You don't have time for this.
But how about five minutes? Five minutes each day. You are able to find them? I'm not saying that this should be enough to cook an extravagant dinner. I say that every man can find five minutes in the day to devote to them all completely, without a trace, his woman.
Will you do it? I bet right after you try, you will feel something that has long been felt. You might even feel a whole new taste of life. And you will not have to stop.
You will save your marriage. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©