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The job for life
When I'm working mom, I find myself, how much constant work I have to invest in the role of the psychologist in relation to children. Why this work, why don't it just becomes part of life with kids? Areflexive, relaxed life?
Popular psychology has made a massive knowledge of the neuropsychological features of formation of children's brain, attachment theory, the theory of the gradual development and inner circle, active listening and so on and so forth.
Most of us weren't raised with that background knowledge. No one was afraid to suppress our instincts of the study, to break the attachment, to kill the motivation to create anxiety, crushing self-esteem. And we all know this and we know about self-esteem, and neuroses, and motivations, and fears, and want the best.
That's why I've been a therapist for their children. Therefore, this work. Because of the chorus of grandmothers in the head. I work when they say, “Baby, look at me, you're tired now and shouted from fatigue, you just go to bed” – instead of “Stop yelling, go to your room”; when they say, “Oh, what a pity, you tried so hard” instead of “well, I've told you a hundred times!”; when I say: “Go kiss the knee, nothing, try again, I'll help you” – instead “what do you want to climb anywhere”.
All my ineffable “go away, brat!”, “you don't go”, “Lord, what nonsense!”, “stop whining like a girl,” “Oh, found something to fear, shame”, “never do it, I'm not talking”; all the battles with 4-year-old stubborn, I found the strength not to join; all this daily work is to understand a storm, to understand their children's emotions, let them be, but to do the right thing, hearing their endless background, don't lie to yourself, not to suppress, but to do right is work. RA-Bo-TA.
I would like to hope that the choir in my daughter's head will say something else. She won't share the automatic and correct. She'll just be able with your children to live, not thinking, not fighting with them, not working. Regret not suppressing the desire to ridicule, to accept, without suppressing the desire to reject, to embrace, not wanting to push inside.
It is the job of a lifetime. It gradually becomes easier as it becomes easier trained body. But you can not entertain the illusion that the inside you've changed, you've just learned to live with it.
Scrapping the template – it's endless work, and no one appreciated. What it cost me NOT to do so, as required by instincts will not be able to understand my daughter. She already has the instinct to go and hug when I swear. I don't have it. I have the trouble to come and hug when she swears.published
Author Olga Nechaeva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: alpha-parenting.ru
Popular psychology has made a massive knowledge of the neuropsychological features of formation of children's brain, attachment theory, the theory of the gradual development and inner circle, active listening and so on and so forth.
Most of us weren't raised with that background knowledge. No one was afraid to suppress our instincts of the study, to break the attachment, to kill the motivation to create anxiety, crushing self-esteem. And we all know this and we know about self-esteem, and neuroses, and motivations, and fears, and want the best.
That's why I've been a therapist for their children. Therefore, this work. Because of the chorus of grandmothers in the head. I work when they say, “Baby, look at me, you're tired now and shouted from fatigue, you just go to bed” – instead of “Stop yelling, go to your room”; when they say, “Oh, what a pity, you tried so hard” instead of “well, I've told you a hundred times!”; when I say: “Go kiss the knee, nothing, try again, I'll help you” – instead “what do you want to climb anywhere”.
All my ineffable “go away, brat!”, “you don't go”, “Lord, what nonsense!”, “stop whining like a girl,” “Oh, found something to fear, shame”, “never do it, I'm not talking”; all the battles with 4-year-old stubborn, I found the strength not to join; all this daily work is to understand a storm, to understand their children's emotions, let them be, but to do the right thing, hearing their endless background, don't lie to yourself, not to suppress, but to do right is work. RA-Bo-TA.
I would like to hope that the choir in my daughter's head will say something else. She won't share the automatic and correct. She'll just be able with your children to live, not thinking, not fighting with them, not working. Regret not suppressing the desire to ridicule, to accept, without suppressing the desire to reject, to embrace, not wanting to push inside.
It is the job of a lifetime. It gradually becomes easier as it becomes easier trained body. But you can not entertain the illusion that the inside you've changed, you've just learned to live with it.
Scrapping the template – it's endless work, and no one appreciated. What it cost me NOT to do so, as required by instincts will not be able to understand my daughter. She already has the instinct to go and hug when I swear. I don't have it. I have the trouble to come and hug when she swears.published
Author Olga Nechaeva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: alpha-parenting.ru
