Why don't we know what you really want from life

Today more and more people imbued with the idea that the work on routine work for the man is life is boring and incomplete, and they want to do what you love. Moreover, the literature on self-improvement and opening of business abound. But even when circumstances are favourable and they have the ability to do anything at all — they don't know for what to undertake. How to determine what business is my favorite?


Or another case, when life seems to have everything necessary for happiness and family and home and work, but somehow boring and empty, and something is still missing and what is unclear. And then the person asks and what I really want out of life?

Such situation show us that the emotional sphere of the person and its inner world is a complex area, and it can be controversial and difficult to manage. The process of maturation and self-fulfilment is impossible without the exploration of their emotional world, skills to manage mood, to control expression of their emotions. When a grown man, and even in the workplace, begins to get angry, raise your voice, throw things or cry — it is perceived as a manifestation of immaturity. But it's important to see the difference between the mastery of their own emotional processes and their annihilation, or displacement.

If this occurs, the person ceases to hear himself, alienated from himself and loses his inner guide, the voice of your heart. And then freedom turns into a human in the curse, because he does not understand how to live without external indexes and constraints. However, there is a vague knowledge that it should not be, and people are drawn to psychology with the intent to "get to know yourself better." Under this veiled expression hides a frightening sense of: "Help. I don't know what I want."

My friend who is a coach to a question from a member of the group to find out what she wants, replied: "I'll give you the account number, you are transferred on him his apartment, car, and then come, and I'll tell you what you want." You might think that such an ironic way he wanted to push the woman to ensure that she began to appreciate what she actually has now and she wants it.

When people do not understand what they really need from life, it easily becomes subject to manipulation and other people using it in their own interests — from nursing in sect to eternal service with immediate family members. When a person does not catch messages from within himself, he begins to believe him about his life, others say. And then he lives not his own life, and that is advantageous to someone else, to the society.

Even Leo Tolstoy in Yasnaya Polyana began to teach peasant children, confirming the idea that they equally have the talent, as the children of the nobility. That is, the ability is a property of human nature, and not social status. Today the generally accepted was the idea that every person is born with particular inclinations, dispositions to any field of activity, and if it is enough to determine exactly what he is the soul and what is its purpose, then he can achieve great success in this, or even invent something new. Or at least to live a good, full life, bringing him joy and satisfaction. And not necessarily its scope will be music, science or art — genius can be in something ordinary, even in darning socks. This reflects the uniqueness of the individual, and no two people with exactly the same set of abilities.

How to find and reveal these unique special abilities?

Very simple. That man most happy and interesting, something that makes him forget about the time to get involved — is his destiny. And begins to manifest it since childhood.

If you carefully observe the child, then quite an early age it is possible to distinguish in preference to certain games, environments, people, objects. This is often seen in biographies of famous personalities. For example, a child psychologist Julia Gippenreiter published a book, which showed how parental encouragement, attention to the interests of the child have aided that in the future, the talents of such figures as Stanislavsky, Prokofiev, physicist Richard Feynman and others, has blossomed to the world level.

Sometimes a child and do not require parental encouragement, and simply friendly-making interests of the child to create an enabling environment in which a delicate flower emerging talent could grow and be nurtured internal interest.

The frequency with which children's favorite games in the future are identical or similar kind of activity those people who found out my favorite thing, is very high. Only thing is that it must be the games the child plays, while alone. A noisy group games are unlikely to provide information about the unique inner world of each participant. Permanent employment, socialization, supervision can impede the child's contact with his inner world. It happens when the love of significant adults like directed and diffused light bulbs. That is, the child, on the one hand, knows that Mama is near and available, but he can do anything he chooses. Parental warmth and acceptance are the rays of light and heat which the child begin to germinate the seeds of his interests, desires, curiosity, imagination.

Wants your inner Child?When a person grows up, the child that he was, did not disappear as is commonly believed, and continues to live inside it as a special condition, or archetype. And this inner Child holds the key to questions of vocation, creative discoveries and answers to fundamental question "what do I want?". Want — it is the prerogative of the child, but until the personality is formed, we cultivate another internal figure — Adult.

The task of the Adult is to provide the Child with the realisation of his desires into a socially acceptable form. On the one hand to negotiate with the Child about the rules and conditions, and on the other hand, to find their place in the human community, where he could be himself and do what he is interested in. We have one and the other, the key is to recognize them to ensure effective interaction between them and not confuse their functions. When the person stops to listen to yourself, "what do I want?" he begins to solve the heart and the head, persuading themselves, looking for arguments or allowing you to guide yourself to others.

What prevents us to do what you want?Some people don't know what they want, they have nothing causes a sparkle to the eye; they think they don't want. This could be due to the fact that people from an early age have often seen the fulfillment of their desires, causing discomfort, and the relief he used to displace his desires from consciousness, so they didn't bother him. The condition when "nothing" is less energy costly than the status whenever you want, but "still will not give." However, in this state the soul is languishing and bored, and gradually falls asleep. She is sending less and less of their signals, since it can't hear us. And then it should gradually "awaken" with the help of special techniques.

Other people know they are loved, but do not believe that it is worth doing, because it seems to them that the world does not need the results of their creativity or obstacles in terms of economic or other circumstances are insurmountable. People like this need to revive or create their inner voice of faith in himself, which they, most likely, have not heard from significant adults when you were growing up.

Belief in yourself is the energy that fills the steps necessary to overcome obstacles that are always getting in the way of that goal, whatever it was. If you do not have enough faith in yourself, people can easily fall into despair or always depend on someone else's assessment and another's will and help. But obstacles are necessary to us because they force us to mobilize all their skills to overcome them and to develop those skills and qualities that we lack. And after this happens the growth and development of personality. As the saying goes, "what is strained, it develops".

Someone who likes a lot of things, keen on, but then it gets boring. Usually this happens after reaching a certain social status or level of skill. Most likely, this person loves to achieve and receive praise, and not this very activity. After all, the main criterion of your favorite things — dip in the process, which brings pleasure, regardless of the outcome.

Also there are many myths about your favorite things, and one of them is that the inspiration and the ascent will accompany you your whole life. But it's not. And in your there are periods of stagnation, repetition, and creative crises and devaluation of others. But if a person really likes the process itself, the joy returns, the spent energy is restored, and the thread is resumed, venturing more and more, with unlimited growth skill.

Thus, each of us has some own way. Importantly, and often most difficult — to find her. Because, again, our inner world is very complex, and besides the voice of the soul we hear a lot of different other voices.

For example, sometimes a person has a desire to get away from people to be left alone. Rather, it is the voice of his injured part. As already mentioned, inside there is also a strong need for social acceptance, recognition, praise, respect. And this is not the voice of the soul. It is easiest to confuse our true desires to surface, instinctual desires to satisfy their fleeting whims, which are immediately replaced with new ones. Despite the fact that pampering yourself sometimes is a necessary condition of internal harmony, the man still needs the ability to postpone immediate pleasure for the sake of future meaningful purpose.

Bring order to your inner world and to meet all these votes — the process is difficult and slow, but the real and allows everyone to work on themselves to improve their quality of life and begin to do what he really wants.published

Author: Nadezhda Baranova


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki


Source: lady.tut.by/news/relationship/467401.html


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