Grow up and be a janitor, willing to explain to mother their children. The University will not enter on the normal work you will not get if you learn. What you will grow?
Parents think that if you draw a child's perspective pojanee – he tremble, terrified and begin to do everything to this terrible reality never come. It will how to make your bed, clean my room, study for one five – only to drawn parents the horrors have not come true.
Actually it turns out otherwise.
I remember how my mother taught me to knit the front stitch. I have nothing happened, the hinges were confused, jacket for dolls didn't work, I got cranky and yelled that I never will.
— Look how well it turns out, his mother said. – Here, only the spokes need to hold it and the loop to purl.
— I never in my life learned, — I muttered, promazyvaya loop better and better. – Who ever came up with that stupid knitting!
— Yes, you have already obtained a normal jacket, laughed mom.
— Yes, but I still will never learn to knit this stupid stitch! – I resisted, even though he saw that everything had already happened. But I couldn't admit that mom was right and I didn't.
In General, knitting I can do now. But with a sewing machine did not work. I had a wonderful teacher of Economics, who willingly told me every time where I have growing hands. She had me completely convinced, I believed her that my hands grow from there, and now I find it much easier to hem a curtain growing from there hands, than to stitch one seam on the machine, although I was taught to sew it on from 5 to 8 class, for four years. Just this training was accompanied by the comment "who sews" and "what you messed up".
Actually, for anybody not a secret that to teach anyone anything so impossible. I was thinking in forty years to learn to drive and the instructor at the driving school I with inimitable honesty said, learning to drive should be in eighteen years, and at forty you have nothing to learn. "What are you doing?" — "Where are you going?" — "Step on the gas, I said!" — "well, who drives like that!" "where are you this came from on my head?" He roared like a wounded Buffalo, I was scared, crying, lost the last vestiges of self-control and realized that I'm stupid, but driving is not for me. Instead, unfortunately, the first "you" to refuse his services. Naturally, nothing I had not learned. Learned from the other – needless to say that he never raised his voice. The professional is not necessary.Nobody wants
Sometimes the result is even sadder. One elderly lady told me that once, so I believed my mother's perennial "you'll never get married" (in fact – not able to sweep the floor, the bed runs crooked, and to wash the dishes doesn't love who need this) – that I realized: the Prince is pointless to wait, need to grab the first one. In the 18 years she has popped up in a hurry to marry the first counter, the first, who drew attention to it more, maybe there is not a chance. Needless to say that the marriage was desperately unhappy.
Remember one of our teachers in the school said: "Fourteen times three is how much? Multiply a column, you idiots, you in mind can't." No, I'm now able to multiply fourteen by three in mind, but every time you hear "you idiots," I did not believe the column, and was angry. My son, coming home from school in seventh grade, sadly said: "Mom, why are we constantly explain that we are fools, we can't do anything, we won't pass the exam, you will not get passport and go to the wipers? I can't hear." I couldn't hear. Eighth grade was in a different school.
You idiots, you fools, you can not do anything, who are you need. What are you doing, what are you sitting here, who is holding a broom, who holds the pen, who sews, who writes, what were you thinking, why didn't you watch what I tell you to do this?
It all pours on the heads of our children every day, year after year. And even if the parents have the angelic nature of Solomon's wisdom and endless patience, children will still hear a lot from the world, as they are not needed, not there, not sit, not doing something and even better they were not. In transport and in the yard, at school and in the Museum store and on the street –children are not welcome. Hands off, don't touch, how you behave, what you got here, what are you doing here, come on, get out of here, so, mouths closed.
In some countries children about strangeness, love and very happy – in a cafe or on the street; I remember how weird it was in Italy where my three year old son was happy like a sunshine came; I remember how the owner of the wedding shop in Helsinki, hearing and understanding without translation my fierce whisper, "do not touch" — he laughed and allowed my eleven year old daughter to touch whatever he wants.
In our country children get from the world the other feedback – I wish you were gone. Still nothing good from you can't do it. And usually we are in a bad moment add: what are you torturing me, I long for you to blush, enough to make fun of me!
— Why do you me at birth — children grumble, slamming the door, and it's not an idle question.
It's good to be an adult! No one will tell you "where your eyes were," when you get ripped off the bumper, do not ask "the head you didn't forget," when you forget at home working paper, do not raise from the bed in the first hour of the night to get to hang in the closet carelessly thrown on a chair dress. As adults, we stop doing stupid things and mistakes – but we now don't screw over each of them.Not respecting
Son once said with a sigh: thirteen years is a lousy age: no one not moved by you and no one respects.
When I was a kid, children did not used to be respected. The right to respect is not given from birth, it had to be earned, to earn, to prove that you are worthy of respect. Children were supposed to fix. Underline in red, to point out errors, to straighten, to adjust, to fix. The best teachers already wrote – show your child where he is bad, and where good which he does; these practices remained unclaimed in the mass school.
When I was a young teacher, just seven years older than students, I was once attacked on duty in the school computer lab: "Well-ka quickly went undressed! I told you!" She didn't want to hear that the shoes are smenka, she stopped screaming only when he heard "this is our teacher". She apologized: "Oh, I thought you were a girl"... a girl can.
In this value system is somehow fatally lack a basic respect for the person-to-person – worthy of respect when not only the oldest, wisest, just achieved, and just because he's a man, he's your brother, he is also God's creation, it is also the image of God. Not only the teacher, but also a girl. Not only state Duma Deputy, but the prisoner.
The idea is to respect children generally survives poorly in the domestic soil. Parents somehow do not see the difference between respect and lack of respect and lack of boundaries. Some are indignant – "why me in the ass he is now blowing?", others explain that with respect to the choice of their children, so let them all move over and give the child to terrorize others in their pleasure.
And with self-esteem too bad. I know a lot of adults, smart, beautiful, sometimes very successful, living with infinite confidence that they're worthless, moral monsters that they can't live that others tolerate them only through the power or grace. One life prove that they have a right to respect, others know nothing.
And, scary to say — and with God, the relationship is not working, because It seems the same always unhappy teacher: well, not praying, not fasting? The whole year playing the fool, and now came? The entire post that you did – and now come to their senses? Well, you came to me? What do you want? Deuce, come and think about their behavior. Before I had to think, and now everything is too late. Deuce, deuce in a certificate, in that light janitor will.
I don't want to finish it.
We are not very good teachers usually. We do not have enough strength, wisdom and patience. We do not know how to cope with their emotions. We often behave as small, not as adults do, expecting the children that they will behave as adults, understand our pain, will be able to accept and endure, sympathize with us and to behave wisely and correctly. Some children do this, but this burden is heavy even for ourselves sometimes.
But we love our children and do a lot of things right, because love has a striking property: it tells the right decisions. Don't know how to do, do it for love, can't go wrong.
And we will surely make it. And we get to be better and better – and succeed, because hope does not deceive, but love does not fail. published
Author: IRINA LUKYANOVA P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki