Why do parents always know how to live, what's wrong with that Bashny.Net

The first time I saw them together — father and son. Father looked genuinely alarmed. Son indifferent. For some reason I decided that indifference is feigned.

Probably because the son's age (years 13-14) meant a showdown with teenage parents and their permanent outrage that the child was not as expected, and does not behave as specified parental experience.



©Norman Rockwell

Initially, all confirmed my original hypothesis.

— He skips school! Imagine a big strong guy literally have to drive the arm to the school doors! I'm ashamed, but he doesn't care. And lying all the time. And stands on his own, even when caught. Speculating on your health: morning it is a headache or a stomach. Mom recently bought, was not allowed to go to school until I made it all stop...

— Where do you go instead of school? I asked the boys.

He didn't answer as came back the father:

— My mother and I both work. He just comes home and lays on the couch watching TV.

— Maybe, after all, friends? Or the PC? — I specified.

— No, the computer has long been under the password. And friends — they are all in school.

— No "bad company"?

— No!

— What does he like?

— Stupid computer games. Previously, like he loved animals, and now his rat mother takes care. Anything but the couch! resolutely repeated his father. — He himself said recently. I had molested him: let's go to some club, section, sport will do, you have a scoliosis develops, or the computer — since you like it so much, come on in any club programming... He used to have in music lessons, chess, to additional English. All cast... I ask: Andrew, what do you want? And he to me behind and lying on the couch! And her eyes are so dull as a dead fish...

Here I first doubted their reasoning about adolescent crisis. Stared at the face of Andrew... and his eyes really struck me as dull.

His father was sent into the hallway and began to speak with the boy. No conflict neither the school nor even at home strongly was not detected. Yes, go to school and doesn't want to study. And the music don't want (and never wanted, the parents were forced). And in chess you do not want. And programming. And in General anywhere. No, parents are no conflicts, they just stick to I went to school and do lessons. No, he understands and is not offended at them, they work a lot, get nervous, have a mortgage for an apartment...

Depression? I read a lot in professional journals that in developed countries it is rapidly getting younger and that now literally epidemic... Until we too got? Or something else terrible depression? In fact, the growing lack of interest in life manifested itself simple schizophrenia... Instantly got worked up, she was afraid of his assumptions quickly tested Andrew simple questionnaire about depression — looks like a match...

Kicked out into the hallway Andrew and very gently but persistently suggested that the father take your son to the doctor, neuropsychiatrist. The father, contrary to my assumptions, the words "depression" was not scared, but rather happy for him.

— So it means really a disease? Can pills treated? Well, thank you, you understood and said, and we really did not know...

They left and I was left in some doubt about the "deal". But then it's better safe...

* * *

The next time came, the father and mother, without Andrew.

— Bad, — there began the father from the doorway. Neuropsychiatrist from prescribed pills. From them only became worse ("Not depression!" — I understand). He was first completely inhibited, and then became aggressive. We were referred to a psychiatrist as a very good specialist for adolescents. He said that while the guard scream before, but something alarming. Prescribed other medicines. From them, he was clearly quieter, even some time does not miss classes in school. And then suddenly refused to drink the pills again started missing, and when we pressed, began to talk about suicide, that doesn't want to live...

— D-damn it... — and I thought. On the background of existing of history the threat of suicide is real. What am I going to say?!

— Andrew flatly refuses to go to PND or Bechtereva, I forced him to drag you physically can't, and here's to you, to the clinic, agreed — because we live opposite and the metro is not necessary to go (and I was very proud of the impression made on teen short conversation with me).

"Yeah," I said. — Well, bring.

* * *

— Don't want to live. Better to hang. — While we have not seen, Andrew has grown a lot and hunched.

— "So" — is like?

The teenager was silent. I thought that this time, he "does not want", and can't find the words. And I said to him.

Remembering that Andrew was interested in animals, I told him, as he worked in the circus tent, circus people, and even about the death of Crespi elephant in the Leningrad zoo, about how we all, even the old elephant Xiong, tried to save her...

— So, too, do not want?

— The way they want, but this is... suddenly, the voice of Andrew became the taller of the two tones, and his eyes gleamed wildly. — And you're not lying?! So really it is?!

— How? — I was taken aback. — Someone at the zoo work? Well, of course, could himself to think, — I smiled, grabbing the saving irony. — If there is a zoo, the animals, some of them will certainly manure cleans...

— No! What you said failed, well, went to work where I wonder... the circus... it happens?

— My God... — I said softly. — Now let me at the outset...

***

— In my youth I was a friend, he told me I was sitting across from the parents of Andrew. — He grew up in a small Crimean town. After the end of the holiday season all there was in coma. Yellow leaves knee-deep, silence. He went to the first class. The teacher was coming, the distribution. He fell in love with her. She said: importantly, the children learn well! If you are going to learn, become janitors will sweep the streets. And if you study well, grow up, and will walk in white robes and only buttons to push. My friend longed to be a janitor and revenge strong smell of fallen leaves was kind of nice, but adore the teacher is condemned, and therefore cannot. A walk in a white robe and pushing buttons did not want (the boy was an active person, and eventually received three degrees, he became a teacher of stage movement in one of the Moscow theatres). And then, not finding themselves in the proposed selection, he cried in frustration...

Have you told your son spit on decency, I accusingly raised finger, that life is a harsh thing. People by definition can't do what he wants. You have repeatedly said to Andrew, you don't love your job, but honestly doing it because it pays well and it allows your family to eat, drink, relax at sea and get loans...

I wanted to be a doctor, but the medical without cronyism would not do, — said the embarrassed mother. And more countryside, but this figure had to pass... but then I became an accountant. As a woman with a child can make a lot of money? Maybe I had to try in the medical...

— And I do nobody wanted to be — remembered father. — If only a player, but it's not serious. Then my parents said — we need to get higher, and I entered LETI; no regrets, I then use...

What about the janitors, the romantic ideal for all lazy, which still threatened us, in my school, you said...

— Yes! I told him that a janitor it also did not take the workers employed by the...

And now you are surprised that Andrew somehow doesn't want to live the life that you offered as the only option? It is you, the parents, are the most important people in my life, believe, you know? And this is the worst...

But what do we do now?! What to say to him? What we have said before, true?

— The words are nonsense. Andrew wouldn't hear them. Only your deeds and your emotions. Pull up all the reserves. You go back to school for landscape design or even some herbal medicine. Home to talk in detail about their experiences. You find an Amateur football team "who are over thirty" and to attend training and matches. Or, if not, to organize it right in your yard. Show him in all the people you can get who love their work. Support any crazy project, which he serves as a test of your efforts and adolescent protest at the same time. Do something, dammit, or he do, what kind, from the window jump!

— Ah... — she moaned the woman.

But for me let like. For anything so simple...

* * *

Six months later Andrew got a piercing in ten locations and a tattoo on his shoulder, was painted blue, dressed in black leather and spent time with friends in some either destroyed, or unfinished houses. An ordinary teenager. Urgently reach what lay on the sofa. During a recent visit to me he said he wants to become a psychologist.

Yeah you like that even a janitor won't take it. — I laughed.

Yeah! And I believe you! — he laughed in response. Well, I ran. Need another daddy look — today he is standing at the gates.

And went to cheer for my father, who unexpectedly succeeded in street football. published

Author: Katerina Murashova

 

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