It offends how crisis developed the sign

Resentment is often written that it is the result of high expectations. The baby has no expectations, only getting used to this or that behavior of others, on their basis, he forms different expectations. Expectations are also formed as a result of promises that adults, as well as mass media, advertising, movies, books, in the style of “you will behave well, you will get a carrot” are driven into the child’s head by manipulation.

In addition to expectations of this type, there are also needs, they are not a consequence of habit, they are an urgent necessity of the body, for example, the need for security.

And those are two very different things.





I will not write about frustration and deprivation of needs now. I'm going to write about frustration.

When a person behaves in accordance with his expectations, and they are not justified, he feels resentment, or we can call it more neutral - frustration, disappointment, that this is what he expected did not appear. That is, it turns out that not always and not necessarily we get what we expected. And at that moment, whether it's a child, whether it's an adult, he encounters reality, the reality that actually exists in sensation. Resentment is a collision with reality, painful, because from the run.

With enough support, such clashes are not seen as catastrophes. If the level of support is small, then for a child it is very hard work, and his psyche can simply not digest, because for an unsupported child life begins to look like a series of disasters without interruption. You need support to get through all these disappointments.

If the parents, on the contrary, try to prevent the child from being offended and not disappointed, the child does not develop psychologically, and it turns out an infantile adult who does not learn to cope with difficulties and sets huge demands on other people, trying again to escape from his own disappointments.

The encounter with reality is more difficult the longer a person avoided it.

Credit Anna Paulsen

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

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Source: anna-paulsen.livejournal.com/965809.html