Let's look at what it means to "let go of desire", why is it necessary and how to implement it. For example, we already know that any desire – like bird, and to keep his stranglehold unprofitable, even dangerous. And in the cage the bird is unlikely to be as happy as in the wild. And if we really want something, we should learn to let go of their desires at will, so they had a chance to be fulfilled.How to let go of your dreams and goals?To write desire
When we our desires are not recordable, and carry all the time in yourself and your head, they seem bound to us. Kind of like why write, everything is clear? But no. Desire better to pull out and store separately. So I often recommend not just a list of dreams to write, and such in which not less than one hundred. To spend inventory to look at it from the side, something to weed out (knowing that God forbid this will come true), to save, to add something.
When we dream and desire to write, it is easier for us to understand that of all that in our heads stored us, and that imposed from outside, by society, by friends and acquaintances.
I remember one girl who was crying by writing your list of 100 dreams. She was crying because of this huge number only one dream was her own. Only one! And I had so much energy to spend on achieving all this and not get any satisfaction or happiness. So many life and living, it is not clear for whom and why.
Those dreams are "our" true easier and faster. Especially if we're not trying to run to the other side behind some illusions and mirages. In addition, when they come true, they give us a lot of strength, inspiration, they take us to another level of life and consciousness. But to find in all this noise "its" — is very difficult.
Mom says you need an apartment and education, dad says you need a car and working abroad, my husband says that you have to want to be thin and have silicone Breasts TV explain to you that it is time to inject Botox to be young, a friend will tell you what you most want a career and independence, the logs will convince you that you dream of brand shoes and the new collection "Chanel" and of course, can not live without the new iPhone. But what do you want yourself? What should you, your soul, your heart?First, it is necessary to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to hear your own voice inside, so as not to put your ladder on the wrong wall.
And, oddly enough, my own desire to let go easier (no external pressure).Be happy without all this
Here is my example, which I very clearly traced. I grew up alone and wanted a big family. To children it was at least five, and maybe more. And here we have my first son was born. We wanted a second child — and nothing comes out, a whole year. A huge pain from what is not so, that my dream is slipping away. I'm not getting younger, but getting pregnant is not impossible. Surely all my dreams will crash and I will remain only once mother?
When I realized that I too clung to the dream, became inadequate in vyschityvanii all sorts of charts and brain stem to her husband, I wondered. All my collages dreams were photographs of large families – three children, like the others there is no happiness. Why doesn't God give us a second child? Maybe we just are not supposed to have any more children? For example, we will never be able to become mom and dad – well, you never know. And then what? I remain unhappy and unfulfilled? I'm losing the dream of his life? Life lived in vain?
Or is there some kind of joy and benefits in my current situation?
We have one son. Someone fails to give birth even once, and we have it is already there, is increasing. Good and favorite. If the child is single, he will get more attention and care. Moreover, Danka we have something special, and it was not superfluous. Having one child is easier to engage and fulfillment, and to be mobile. And so on.
I collected benefits in my position, and gradually accepted him. And as soon as I accepted that, perhaps, will forever be the mother of only one child, I got pregnant. I myself did not expect, but the miracle happened, once I learned how to be happy in their present day.Letting go of desire means to feel and accept that I'm happy now. I now this very much.
Happy without marriage. And without your home. Without a huge number of dresses. And without children. And his favorite things. Already happy. And I'd be happy to be even happier – if my wishes will come true.Do not give up the desire
Sometimes we are addicted to the first point, they say, I'm fine, and begin to fool themselves, to enter into the illusion, they say, why I need it. So I know a girl who first insanely much wanted children, had exhausted everyone around her burning desire. And then suddenly cooled. Began to explain to everyone and myself that didn't want kids. That child is a mess at home, and she is a mess can't stand that he's difficult to work, and without work she dies, and her husband is not so reliable to him to give birth.
If she was happier about it? No. On the contrary, sank into depression, and she didn't know what. It's all there, children don't need. But the problem is that with itself it was not sincere. Instead of having to admit that she wants children, but somehow now it's gone, she decided from the desire to give up entirely.
After several years of such self-deception (and psychotherapy), she became a mother. First, in adopting a child (and recognizing that the child should always come exactly the way we want). And then suddenly pregnant. Doctors only made a helpless gesture supposedly that to happen just could not. It happened because she let go of his desire to become a mother necessarily in this way.
From us the realization of our desires depends, not always. And if depends it is insignificant. So you should learn to allow God to decide when and what to give us.He knows better what we need and what we are. We would like a statement written to the head, and then he will make the decision.Do what you must and come what may
Letting go of desires doesn't mean that you need to sit and wait with bowed legs. On the coast to wait for their warming and all the rest do not care. A pier, I here no difference, so I will just stand on the shore. Many girls just dream about marriage, they say, if he will not, he will find me. But he will find you when you're in the office for 12 hours, then at a gallop on the subway and sleep? At what point of time he needs to find you? And if you'll be able to notice, to see, to see? Well, he'll come by chance in your books, wrong door, so you don't even notice it and will not pay attention, because the room will not be lit up in pink lights, and butterflies begin to fly around the room.
A business building, and relationship, and in General my whole life. They say, goes like something I want. But even to win the lottery you need a ticket to buy. As for the relationship to build, to invest a lot.God has no other hands but ours. In this sense, we are the blacksmiths of his own happiness.
But the Smiths, who understand that "salary" comes from above and to the extent in which we do deserve. We continue to fulfill our duty to work. And what fruit will come — God decides.
That is, if I'm not married, but really want it, I'm working on my feminine qualities and are where you can get acquainted with a decent man. If I'm being considerate — I give the man a chance, even if at first he does not like me. Communicate with him, know him closer, not physically! Accept courtship, get to know the person better.
It is most often the one we designed above, first looks usual and "not the man". If you do not give him a chance, don't look, you'll miss out on the most important. I'm doing something (and in fact many things) in order to one day become a wife. But when it comes to the marriage and who will be my husband — not for me to decide. And I understand that.
Or if I dream about a house, I don't just admire the pictures or jealous of someone's home, I know the price of land, studying where to build a house was ideal from which to build, paint layout that I like. And then, step by step, and maybe not very fast, brick by brick, go to the dream. The accumulated money on the ground – bought the land slowly began to build. Or purchased ready-made house, but away from the city where it is cheaper.Thank
Very often this is what we forget. Focusareas on what is not, forgetting that already given. My friend – a mom of four wonderful daughters, a crazy dream about his son. And for a long time it was her obsession that she is a bad wife that the husband has not given birth to an heir, that girl is a waste of time getting married and smashed. She pitied herself had experienced and not experienced to the daughters of a special heat.
Once she got to the house of another mother who had five sons and no daughters. She prayed to God about the girl, but in vain. As a joke, they offered each other to change, to share their problems and experiences. But the most valuable was for my friend what she saw. Her daughter played quietly with dolls and houses, cleaned dishes, sang songs and danced. And five gallant knights all the time running through the ceiling, crushing everything in its path, fought, turned the whole house upside down.
Arriving home, she first thought about how lucky she is, how God saved her from loud sounds and battles. What happiness it is the girls who help around the house, do not create problems, study well, gentle and affectionate. She said her "let go", they say, Thank God! Gratitude filled her heart, she ceased to feel flawed. And after a year a son was born. Absolutely unplanned.
Be grateful for all that has already been given. And given a lot. Most of us have a place to live (even if that housing is not separate and not his). And there are millions of people who live on the streets, in boxes, in cellars. We have something to eat. We have family and friends. Feet, hands. A lot of what we have been given but not appreciated.
Be thankful with no complaints — but when will it happen? To switch all the time thanks. Let me no house, thank you that we have the opportunity to rent an apartment and live separately from their parents. I don't have a large wardrobe with the dresses, thank you for what I already have four very beautiful dresses, sewing machine and a talent for sewing. And so on.When we know how to be grateful, dreams come true faster. After all, who wants to spoil you with gifts the old woman from the fairy tale "the fisherman and the fish"?
She's all the time a little and not always want more (true, the result of such a life naturally).
If you do all this, you will feel that the tension is reduced, life is easier and happier, and desires began to be fulfilled easier and faster. And if they are not fulfilled, you would not even feel on the subject of depression, and your clinging to desire hands relaxed. So you need to continue to go forward, all right, and in due time you will see shoots from the sown seeds.published
Author Olga Valyaeva, from the book "not Bad for a dream"
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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