Where did the real man

The good news: real men gone nowhere. They were, are and will be there, as they say. The trouble is entirely different.

Women who are attracted to the image of man's infantile, irresponsible and does not consent to be bound, not held in your career and dependent mother, becomes more and more.

They only see these men. Others simply do not notice.

Why? Because in the parental home runs the mother. Because "the father confuse or forget." Perhaps he really was infantile and maladjusted to life, perhaps her mother was more convenient to represent him in this. Maybe he was besserebrennikov and mother had to support his family. Maybe he even drank.

As a result of man's image, which is formed by the girl as a child, and her interest in men are, like all of us, directed character. If the girl had never seen what a "man - the head of the family", she did not react to the appearance of the men in her adult life. It scares her, repels, frightens. She does not understand how to interact with them. She says those who resemble her father. And gradually, because of this "tunnel" vision she begins to believe that all men are. All the same.

Note that this works both ways. Many men act in the spirit of "All women are materialistic." Everything is logical: their mothers were pulling money from their fathers or sawed, because the money was not enough, and as a result, this man chooses his lady partner that fits into the picture of the world: a woman sits on a man's neck. Whether all women are like this? Of course not. He simply does not see the other.

All of us, and that's a fact, seek to find in the lives of those people that have already met as a child. Because it is clear to us principles of conduct is familiar traits, is a model of behavior, which is clear to us. If we meet with a man of another type, no association in the mind of us there, and purely instinctively he becomes to us or a source of danger, or empty space.

In any case, we are unable to feel the attraction to the unknown. This is a psychological phenomenon that has long been known, but few turns to psychologists, to destroy these stereotypes are formed. In fact, everyone should look at their parents and say, I want a family? If not, it is necessary to change something in yourself.

Of course, our little girl has grown up does not live in an information vacuum. There is much written and said about the feminization of society, that men are less masculine, and women are becoming stronger and stronger, "crushed the man," it is pouring from everywhere.

She clings to this idea, finding it immediately million confirmations from the nearest environment: Yes, here they are, infantile, irresponsible muzhchinki. She makes sure that everything really so bad and takes a edakogo Infante husband. Other something in her view of the world is not.

And it's not her fault! It is a social problem, and huge. In Russia, there are no universal model of the family, and relationship building. The country is multiethnic, gone through different modes and devices, has accumulated a lot of different traditions, and in each of them their understanding of what a man and what is his role in the family.

Changing epochs changed roles too sharply, the man had to fight it along with his wife to run the economy, the demographic picture has changed so that only weak men survived after the war, not to fight, and women taking on the basic functions, plus the competition for at least some -nibud man ...

In the 19th century it was quite clearly: the peasant family lived like this, gentlemen - so workers - so. In every social stratum roles of husband and wife were generally predetermined, responsibilities are divided, the prospects are clear. From man-Count expected a certain behavior and participation in family life, from man-cultivators expected something else entirely. Be clear, specific, and so it was throughout the empire.

Of course, adjusted for the tradition and the Caucasus was not quite as in the Asian region, but on the whole structure of society was. Entering into a marriage, both sides fairly clear idea of ​​what to expect. In the working-class family was not raised the question, "Will the wife work?". Of course it will be! As well as not to raise this issue in the count's family: of course, will not

. In Soviet times there was a collapse of all these dogmas. Women gained the right to education, profession, and - the duty to work. For the part of the society it was a long-awaited victory, for another - the death of all hope. At the same time, I remind you, it was not able to work. It was a duty, and tried for parasitism.

What we have at the exit? Most of us grew up in families where both parents worked. And then abolished the compulsory work: if you want - work, do not want - do not work. Again everything is turned upside down! And it turned out that some of the women and men happily rushed to the "noble" scheme: the husband works, the wife of the house; another part - a "working": both work; and some - to "feminist": she makes a career, and he - how he wants

. All these schemes have the right to life, the only question is to find a partner who shares your opinion is on how the family should be arranged. Yes, in the 21st century to make it more difficult than in the 19th. But it is quite realistic.

Author: Michael Labkovsky


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