Famous American actress and producer Jennifer Aniston published in The Huffington Post newspaper, a very emotional lyrics about tremendous pressure on modern women who provide the media and society as a whole.
The reason for the publication were the regular rumors about the pregnancy of the actress. Here is the letter.
"To begin with, I used to try not to deal with gossip. I do not like wasting time on someone else's lie, but this time have already begun to engage in a conversation, with no end in sight. And because I do not sit in social networks, I decided to present my thoughts in an article in this edition.
Officially I declare that I am not pregnant
Officially I declare that I have got. We got these stares and unflattering epithets that every day passes for "journalism", "freedom of speech and the press" and "celebrity news».
Every day me and my husband harassing dozens brazen paparazzi who do not stop at nothing to get hold of any photo, even if it means they have to endanger us or the unfortunate passers-by who happened to be nearby. However, leaving aside the problem of pedestrian safety, let's look at the wider world, which opens on the pages of the tabloids.
If I am to someone symbol, standard, then I become the prism through which society views our mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, girlfriends and colleagues. Objectification and fault-finding with which society is coming to the woman, became absurd and frightening.
My image in the media - nothing but a reflection of how we see ourselves, and draw a woman in general, adjusting it under our distorted standards of beauty. Sometimes it is enough to look at the cultural standards in new ways, and we understand what they are really - the collective subconscious acceptance ... consent ... And we are responsible for our agreement with them
Little girls all over the world to absorb our consent, whether passive or active. And it starts very early. The idea that she is ugly, if it does not possess an incredibly slim figure, she does not deserve attention, if you do not have good looks of a supermodel or actress on the cover of the magazine -. It is a promise in which we participate consciously
Then all these settings girls carry with them into the world of an adult woman. We use "star chronicle" to instill this humiliating to human dignity opinion, focused only on the appearance of women.
And the tabloids profited well on this: she is pregnant? She eats a lot? She stopped to look after themselves? Her marriage under threat, because the camera caught some physical "flaws»?
Picky with which society values women, is absurd and frightening.
Sometimes, I repeated what the yellow press - as a comic, it can not be taken seriously, it's a soap opera that people are looking to unwind a little. But recently, this mantra does not work, because the fact with some scrutiny examine my life (decades!), It is no longer just my personal affair and reflects flawed attitudes about the value of women in general.
Last month was for me a special revelation: I saw how often do we determine the value of a woman on whether she and whether she had any children married. The sheer number of resources that are connected to trying to figure out is pregnant or not I (probably for the millionth time - I lost count), which once again demonstrates the well-established in the public perception that if a woman is not married and has no children , or it is defective or unsuccessful or unhappy.
At a time when journalists were concerned about my personal life, in the US there have been fires, mass execution, the Supreme Court took the fateful decision, elections are approaching - the set of events that deserve attention "journalists", if the past deigned to spend on them my time <. br>
And here I come to the main point: we are full of personality: a man - or without a child - or not. We ourselves have to decide what beauty is, when it comes to our body. This solution -. Our and only our
Let's make this decision and for those young women who see us as a role model. Let's make that decision consciously, moving away from the hype of the yellow press. We do not need to strive for marriage or motherhood, to become full. We for ourselves have to decide how we will live "happily ever after».
We are full of personality: a man - or without a child - or not. We ourselves have to decide what beauty is, when it comes to our body.
I'm tired of playing this game. Yes, maybe one day I will become a mother, and while I'm writing all this, then you will learn this news from me personally. But I do not aspire to become a mother just because I feel their inferiority as we think makes a modern new "star" culture.
Do not hang up on me complexes only because I have changed shape and / or I ate a burger for lunch, or I photographed at a strange angle and decided - one of two pregnant or fat. Not to mention how painfully awkward when they begin to greet friends, colleagues and complete strangers with a nonexistent pregnancy (often at least ten times a day).
Invaluable experience of many years has taught me that the tabloids habits, no matter how dangerous they are, do not change, at least in the near future we shall not shine. What has changed is our awareness and response to the poisonous message, hidden among the seemingly innocuous and issued for the truth of stories that shape our idea of what we are.
It's time to decide whether to believe the fact that we slip, and perhaps one day a newspaper tabloid will have to look at the world through a different, more human prism, because the demand for nasty fall. »
I believe that the promise of performance by Jennifer Aniston is absolutely sensible and constructive. The idea is to display the value of a woman on the basis of its compliance with rigorous standards and requirements, the most important of which are the model looks, the presence of her husband and child, can only cause deep neurosis.
Actually, this neurosis, our society now and sick. A popular phrase in our area "is already 30 and still not married?" (As an option "for three years married, and the baby is not brought?") Is striking not only for its tactlessness, but also the perfect isolation from reality.
And the reality is different: a woman can not be married, because it is itself this is not psychologically ready, or because he did not see in their immediate environment for who would like to start a family, or because it threw the beloved person, or because she divorced because the husband has appeared abyuzerom - Do what causes little can be
Yes, just the time has not come yet. The causes of infertility can be a lot, and the most obvious of them - the sterility of one of the spouses. Either one person in the pair may be not yet ready for the responsibility that occurs after childbirth. Also important, if we respect other people's free will.
Annoying comments surrounding the wound, like a sharp knife, especially people sensitive. I remember how disappointed I was when a loved one without any ulterior motive hinted to me, 'A woman blossom so after birth. Maybe it's time?. »
And the thesis right (women really prettier in mostly after birth and shine some special light), and bad intentions in humans was not - but it casually thrown word cost me a few sleepless nights, tears in the pillow
In order not to feel the pain, people are beginning to build all kinds of protection, and when the voltage is "off scale", even the most innocent remarks caused a flurry of aggression. It is worth overdoing around with his curiosity, and we are already beginning to deny all important values.
We are hurt when we are not interested in how people, individuals, and even if all the "features" we are working, whether all the checkboxes in life are placed correctly (if we look good and we earn, if we implement themselves in the profession, there are four travel times per year, if we have a husband, a child, and how good they are, whether we have a fashionable hobby), and we totally depreciate what they say. "Husband? I do not plan to deprive themselves of freedom and a lifetime to endure someone's presence nearby. Especially now that normal men, in principle, no. »
Perhaps this is protection against encroachments on personal space, but to hear such words to me personally sad and scary. Woman nemodelnoy appearance, without a husband, and the child is not a handicapped person.
Every person - great value, irrespective of their external data, social status, nationality or belief. Man can not be measured by the totality of its social roles and statuses! But I do not believe that children deserve a family and depreciation.
Marriage and parenthood - the amazing gifts of life and God. I think that the next step would be wise to say: I do not let the media and public opinion to determine high-grade I or not, but I think a family and children matter of great importance, the involvement of which I hope to experience when the time comes
In the meantime, we can only repeat the words of the American actress, I have a full-fledged personality. I'm a man. I already live. And do not hang up, please complexes at me ...
Author: Anastasia Hramuticheva
Translation Speech Jennifer Aniston - Alexander Matrusova