Many, and often we think about our relationship. And often we do not think that we are, and about what we want. And the gap between what is desired and is usually deep.
I'm talking about the topic of personal relationships. The topic of personal relationships devoted to the whole direction of practical psychology - family therapy
And there is also no one owes nothing guarantees. After talking with a therapist, you're still going himself (herself) to make a decision in respect of themselves, and who can possibly know better than those who are in relationships, how to be?
That's my opinion - where a person is faced with something intimate, all is not easy. Rather, each is a story, it is deeply individual and does not have a specific recipe, because every time this situation is unique and inimitable. It is a clash of two personalities, and they try to understand each other.
And every person - is the whole universe, and to find someone with whom he will coincide completely and unconditionally - almost an impossible task. Statement sure, but is it?
If we follow the logic of the great mathematicians who claim that every problem always has a solution, or you find a complex hypothesis confirmation or find confirmation of its unprovable. But there is always a solution, and this solution is not only precise mathematical calculations.
By the nature of their activities, I am connected with individual counseling and often meet people, often women, who with wide eyes ready to take advice on the main, they think, a matter of life and, perhaps, at their age it looks that way, - I do not know, the more I nee man. How not to be mistaken with the choice of a partner, who is the one who is looking for a person, with whom you can embark on an adventure called "life»?
This is seriously a very difficult question, even more so, when there are several very different and tempting choices.
Just today, once again, I had to watch a man with such a request in the eye.
I even thought, in the process of discussions that, in general, this is probably a good topic for the development of it as a business model for the consultant. But on reflection, I decided to just do express their opinions. Perhaps it will be useful for those who are in the deliberation phase. After all, the uniqueness of each confirmed always some regularity, is not it?
I often ask my clients in such cases: "And you know exactly what you want? Can you describe, you express the desired version of its future, one that you think is perfect? »
And most of those who give a positive answer, then talk about the purely material and practical things, because the insight that man is hungry, he does not. Strangely want what I do not know what it is, is not it?
Now think honestly, do you like this never happened, huh? If so, you are a rare lucky, but most sadly squeeze, yes, they say, it was ...
If we return to the theme of women's expectations of the Prince, the more often very similar. And there is both indisputable advantage, and rather serious problem. Of course, I agree that a woman is looking for a partner who above all can provide it in terms of the implementation of procreation, that is our animal nature, then a variation on the theme of compromises: what can be sacrificed if the ideal is not to happen? And there is the shadow side of the issue.
After all, everyone dreams of something perfect, but life goes on compromises. Better a bird in the hand. Is this true?
I know examples where people were not satisfied with just a tit, and, as it does not seem strange, after all, have always found his one and only. It's hard to believe, but we always get out of life exactly what the claim and what to expect. We always comes something that we consciously or deliberately avoid waiting, but aspire to it at the level of our unconscious. And all this is in line with our desires, or rather expectations.
For the space of options, in which we all live, where cooks "miracle" called "Fate", it is very important is not only what we truly want, but what is very afraid.
If our brain is a receiver-transmitter antenna, and, possibly, a decoder, a filter desires, then he just percolates from the flow of our thoughts is something on the principle of "get what we asked for." When we say, "I'm not asking this," that often we do not realize that we were afraid of this much feared, and this situation was realized
We argue, explode, and life has betrayed us once a story we look disappointed and do not understand why? The fact that he is very specific and the fact that we get our predetermined expectations.
Thus, all our life depends on our will and way of thought, belief or disbelief, doubt or certainty.
Sami compromises determine the degree of variability. And therein lies the answer to the question, the answers are always very specific. Therefore, before something to wish, you must thoroughly understand the desire to own. Remember: Fear of their desires, because every wish has come true property
And if you realize your desire only at the level of the material, it is realized only there if you are looking for more and ready (ready) to overcome the temptations and temptations, then sooner or later you will find what he sought. This law works for everyone and is not just a personal relationship, but in the first place.
It must be remembered that in life there is the principle of balance. It is similar to the scales with leverage. Each event has its own counterweight or an equivalent measure of its value.
There is a beautiful and free speech "Will". It can be interpreted as a synonym for freedom, as the endless opportunities or permission for something. Its the same in another reading could be interpreted as a manifestation of nature, such as excess stress as something for which you can tolerate, limit yourself and wait.
Everyone chooses their will. And then freestyle will. This is what happens in a relationship. Therefore, at the time, when someone catches the sunbeams, someone else sharpens character and brings his will. What do you think, who finally "lucky»?
And I want to finish the story about the lion, which gently and politely talked by phone with his lioness. Located next to him bull surprise exclaimed: "You're a lion - the king of beasts, and persuade his wife ?! I won hoof knock on the table, and will lead the bullish view .. "And the lion answers:" I am married to the queen, and you're on a cow ... .. ". Everyone has something to which he aspires.
Author: Andrey Kalinin