Patients than loved one, you no one will ever make Bashny.Net

Do you know what price to pay for a happy family life? It is not so small and insignificant. It is a pain. Do not constant, of course, occurs only occasionally. But more painful than the loved one, you no one will ever make. Nobody sees you as close to anyone you do not become so vulnerable.



You can injure careless word, a look, or simply silence. You may be too sensitive and receptive mood, or for example during pregnancy or women's days, when even all perceived keenly. And yet every man is a bad period of fate, and to be with him at this time - too painful. And if such a period you, but my husband does not understand? Again the pain.


And yet no one but the closest would not be able to tell you the bitter truth that you need to hear and digest, in order to become better. And to hear it - it hurts

. The closer together the people, the more pain they inflict on each other. It is not always intentional. Sometimes the connections between them are close, affection so crushed that the simple movement of one hurts the other.

The pain can be different: both acute and unbearable, and pulling, and the ever-present backdrop. Much has been dependent on the relations themselves. But the pain is even in "ideal" relationship with magazine covers.

And the more we are attached to each other, the more it hurts. When her husband - the only source of happiness in life - pain is often unbearable. When her husband - this whole world is sick until he lost consciousness. As we grow and develop - each at their own pace, we also have to deal with the pain. When the husband is not really the same as we would like, and there is no decision, it is very painful. When the husband does not live up to expectations - and he is a living person, and it happens - again hurt. And even her husband - it is our mirror, and it shows a lot of our weak points. It is never pleasant or joyful spectacle.

If we are afraid of pain, run from it, we do not build a deeper relationship. Nothing. It's the same thing as much to get a diploma without passing the exams. Or wanting a child, not nurturing it in the womb and giving birth (such processes are, but they always present a different kind of pain, no less).

Once upon a time one grandmother told me this phrase: "You can not be happy in a relationship, because avoiding pain, running away from her. And you need to learn to go through the pain. There always is happiness. " Then I did not understand - why do relationships, if there is pain? Who do we need such a relationship? It is better to find someone else, the perfect "mate", there is something for sure the pain will be gone. But it turned out that pain - a frequent companion of love, affection and intimacy. And its ability to digest - expensive

. For me, once there is an analogy with childbirth. If you hide the pain, attempts to restrain, then mother and child worse. And if you open up her whole body - through a minute the pain immense happiness comes

. If the relationship to avoid pain, the tension grows - and then explode. If you allow yourself to go through it, it exist a - it becomes much easier

. So many people say that it is better not married, but it does not hurt. Maybe, yes, in some ways it is more convenient. And it is not necessary to adapt and endure. Only here and much happiness that can be found in this relationship - there is none. And there is no personal development. And the transition to the next level - no

. Maybe some more convenient without a husband - not change under anybody, not to change, to do everything itself, does not wait for anything. Only now "comfortable" - it is usually far from "happy." And avoidance of pain -. It is the same that to deprive yourself the chance to become better, to understand themselves more deeply, learn to live in harmony with a partner, to pass a major transformation, I would even said initiation

Being together - it means to stay together in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and in the richness and poverty, till death do you part. And it means - to be able to digest, live the pain, leaving a space for great happiness. Be prepared for the fact that family life - it is not only the pitch but also the thorns, and the thorns are not the most beautiful and less necessary

. Author: Olga Valyaeva