Salary - the amount for which you feel

In which case, low self-esteem becomes an obstacle on the path to a successful career? Then, when a person can not be realized, to find themselves. It starts at school.

The child learns bad, it shpynyayut, it barely passes the final exams, and chooses not to a profession to which the soul lies, and the university, which has a chance to do. On estraivaetsya work on the same principle flawed.




Vacancy - simpler, more in the interview the employer, it is clear that the applicant is not sure of himself, no matter what does not pretend that it is possible to instruct a routine to dump a lot of boring duties: either complain, much less demand a large salary and position, he will not.

And the person agrees that it is not very pleasant. And what he wants, does not even know really ...

Salary - this is the amount for which you feel

I often advise the wives of wealthy people, and I ask them: "And what would you like to do in life?" And almost always it turns out that their own ideas and desires they have. Why not - is another big question about his childhood, parents who suppressed, did not reckon with the wishes and requests of the child and have grown as a result of a person who does not love and does not understand himself. And as a result - not to be his destiny and live a life in which every now and then resigns himself to circumstances.

Confidence - it's the same quality, which primarily provides a good education (eg, private British school). What about those who have no money for expensive education?

You know where to give self-confidence? I now do not think that studying in a private British school - the key to success. There are statistics and facts: many millionaires to produce all the very started. Sometimes it just does not. In this case (and maybe that's why) they have no fear of failure, they are able to think outside the box, take risks, spit on the rules and authorities. Is it taught in school?

According to my observations to success in business in the first place should be nothing to fear. A private British school - this is the product for export. Teach Is there independence and ability to make decisions, take responsibility for their actions and defend their opinions, communicate, make friends?

I think and Losers from the public school in a poor neighborhood can become a successful businessman, and a graduate of the prestigious private college can be a loser. All individually!

My daughter is studying in public school in Jerusalem. This school, which he graduated Netanyahu brothers, one of whom is the current Prime Minister of Israel. And while she studied there only until 8th grade, the knowledge gained serious and learned English perfectly.

What other qualities are necessary to the person who wants to succeed?

A man should like what he does, he must want to do just that, to understand their desires and follow them. And the rest - is important, again, self-confidence; ability to trust your decisions, desires, instincts; understanding of cause-effect relationships; ability to set big goals and accomplishing great things.

What is the role played by the ambition to succeed?

Watching what is considered success. I do not see business success apart from the basic human welfare. Rich, successful business people are very often unhappy. I saw them in batches - most of them real neurotics

. Ambition because arise when people do not like themselves in their present form and goes out of his way to prove that he is worth something. He constantly compares himself with others and always loses this comparison in his own eyes. There is a shift of objectives.

Rather than implement their own aspirations, realize their talents, abilities, desires and dreams, a person strains, puts life, indulging their ambitions and trying to win the competition kakoe-to imposed himself ... Well, let's win. Happy is he? Is not a fact. I stand on the fact that there are healthy ambitions. And point.

It happens that a person loses self-esteem because of the failures in life - for example, for a long time could not find a job ...

Our self-esteem is very selective. Healthy situation, the situation is the norm - this is when a person accepts and loves itself in all its entirety. All of it in yourself like: the appearance, and the belly and a bald head, and the way he thinks, and how to communicate ... And just that is not often seen

. Usually people say about themselves: "I myself appreciate objectively - as a worker I am good, but not as the head of the pull," or "I have a bright appearance, but convinced I do not know." Progress is, of course, also from childhood, if parents put emphasis on some child's qualities, such as mother told her friend on the phone, "She's ugly, but diligent" or "Son, though blunt, a thinker he is not to be , but may, according to the sports line will »...

So, the only one to whom a birthday treat with unconditional love, completely sure of himself. If it was not - self-esteem thoroughly lame. And in this case, I suggest to remedy the lack of love and respect for themselves. Respect and love yourself as much as would like to be loved and respected by others.

Do things that are peculiar to people with high self-esteem, break the reflex arc. Do not compromise on, hold on, do not agree to do the work that you consider "not his", do not go to the position that you consider yourself unworthy. Be patient, courage and believe in yourself. Salary - this is always the amount for which you feel.

This is a terrible word "procrastination" ... Why do people put off the case?

Most procrastinators - it's hard perfectionists with the highest level of anxiety and fear. That is, they are even afraid to start anything out of fear that will not make it to the end or not to do it brilliantly.

Perfectionists and honors - are not the ones who make all perfectly, for no take, and those who did not take up the case, if not certain, that on the right by five with him. Here they lay, and in severe cases generally do not do anything ... When it interferes with his career and has a negative impact on the fate of a whole - it is necessary to go to a therapist.

Fear of public speaking - is also part of the problem of low self-esteem? How to overcome it?

This fear of the performances generated by the fear of being misunderstood, the uncertainty that you will appreciate, approve, hear. In the end - it is the fear of losing. And with him, then we have to work. But the fight with nothing just is not necessary. The very formulation of the problem - is incorrect. "I'm scared, I'm nervous, but I levies it, I can manage, I will win the audience» ...

And here you are like a war. No! We must go to the people with love, with interest to them, with the desire to share, they say, to "openly". This, incidentally, comes by itself, when a person leads to adequate their self-esteem begins to love yourself, "relaxed life."

How fair division of people into introverts and extroverts? Is it true that it deoenie to some extent determines what a person can be held is best?

There is no one hundred percent of introverts and extroverts. The question is what you more - or extra intro ... From this percentage and depends on what the person is fit to work longer: with papers, machinery or people. And this division is more functional.

Find out exactly what type of, and the work will be easier to choose. People often misunderstand themselves and evaluated. For example, have a need to communicate, but the fear of being misunderstood close and see themselves as introverts (and work in a warehouse, instead of sitting at the reception) ...

Is it true that for psychological comfort to every person should periodically change jobs? If yes, how often? And for some internal signals can be understood that it is time to leave?

Himself have to listen. If there is an internal need and a feeling that you sat in one place - to change jobs, and if not, why change? Here there are no prescriptions and rules. But as you know, there are national traditions. In the United States decided to change jobs every 5-7 years, and more often, and in Japan - the longer the one place you work, the more honor

. Recently I met a school principal, I worked 30 years ago. Now he is 90, he's fine, 63 years working in the school, including 40 years - in his current position. And this is one of the most famous schools of Moscow. And as you know, he was in it a very psychologically comfortable ...

Is there any psychological problems that are inherent to women than to men? What are the psychological barriers to success often stand in front of them? How to overcome them?

Of course, women are more emotional. And perhaps it somehow affects their progress up the career ladder. But in general, then I'm against gender-based division. I think there is no special male and female special qualities that help or hinder business success.

Author: Michael Labkovsky