The shadow behind him on the leading men and women slaves

Like all good and beautiful: not yesterday by couples, the husband confident, youthful wife. Rich, beautiful, like a couple of great lions of the African savannah. Famous not only he, but she did. Popular, famous, women who know how a lot of things. And then the phrase: "I'm for it." Restrained pride in the eyes of women, men quiet triumph.

And you sit there and think ... No, "but what's the makeup?" Because this idyllic image advertising designed to sell and it was her. You think about something else. About that, for example, where this pair got to the lioness, and where it came from sheep, "I'm for it." And it all means.

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Oh well. The lady is proud to be a man. For some reason, her successful relationship should make me, which may, generally do not have any relationship, the right to buy cosmetics brand, the second question. Let us leave it to the conscience of marketers. But what with the lipstick, we are trying to impose a model of relations, which can be described by any word other than "equal" - this is an occasion to reflect themselves.

So, that means "I am for him?" What's in front of us a couple, in which clearly defined gender roles, and the man, who is also Gogh, aka Zhora, aka Igor, in full compliance with its decisions and takes all taxis? For the simple reason that he is a man. A woman, judging by the fact that living with him for years, willingly chose the role of the slave, and like all happy. Well, in each hut their rattles. Then here we are. It happens.

And in this choice a woman there is nothing wrong - not least because that is her choice. As the desire to feel secure that seems to mean is "I'm for it." She is weak, he is strong - a proven model for thousands of years the relationship of the sexes. Man as a fortress, because the walls of which a woman can serenely and confidently to glance at the world around us. The idyllic picture. For a perfect world.

But in the real world paradigm, "I am for him" - a trap for both. Getting into it, a woman is forced to concede their right to decision-making: who's in charge - and he decides. It can not disagree, argue and fuss, but its opinion will be taken into account only if this man wants.

The man, consolidating its status as a fortress, is likely to remain lonely ruins, Buda castle, this fall under the pressure of financial crisis or other life troubles. This is what happens in a relationship based on the scheme "I followed him." Because when the defender can not defend the weak, making it weak? Dies or is looking for another defender.

No, you got it all wrong - my friend said. "I'm for it" means something quite different! He is not my strength, and I am his rear. Ah, yes. Behind every great man ... I heard. I know. Memoirs of those who were behind him too read. Some are full of love, betrays some bitterness. But you know what the total in all of these great memories wives? What they like and do not have themselves in these books. There is life, achievements and personality of their men.

And mistake again - the friend said. All the achievements of their men - this is actually the result of what they rulila intelligent woman. Without it, this would be a brilliant musician sbuhalsya in infancy, and the physicist would be blown up by his own invention. Do you understand?

Why are not clear. The most repulsive thing in a relationship - the famous "you are the head, neck and I," is meant to signify some supreme female wisdom, but in fact the classic definition of manipulation

. Schemes "I followed him," certainly has a right to exist. Especially when it open-eyed agree two adults. In the end, and BDSM is also a legitimate thing. But this is a personal choice of each individual, rather than a sample of successful schemes of family life. And as for me, the choice is extremely doubtful. As if life is too narrow path to walk on it not in single file and close. Holding hands and seeing the same horizon.

And by the way, I was married for more than ten years. But I do not "him". I'm with him. And he - to me. So go. Sometimes you do not keep up, well, so this is not an army, and the family. And surprisingly, though none for anyone, and does not hide, but both seem to feel protected. I - for him. He - a mine. Because we're just together.

Author: Alla Bogolepova

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