Removing the pain: relationship trauma therapy Bashny.Net

Do you know what do I need psychotherapy? For stays of reality, true, true reality. Truth about his childhood, or the truth about your relationship to the partner. Not so easy to remember that truth, to recognize it and to experience conscious. It is impossible to make an effort of will and mind. This reality is very dangerous to recognize immediately the whole entirely - you can just die in pain, or can not cope with a

. And the man in the therapy gets this reality from itself piece by piece. Each produced a fragment of truth is a huge amount of emotions and feelings - strong and very destructive. Such as fear, anger, rage, shame, guilt ...

The therapist needs to see that the horror of reality can be experienced, that can cope with it. But most importantly, the therapist needs to get these fragments of reality as possible.




Because in the process of extraction pain paramount that you believe that you are not condemned, lest you have rated, so you have not told the recipe "right" solution to your problem, that you have not considered crazy, so that you believe and that you believe in the ability to heal, so that you did not inspire the stereotypes and clichés, such as "Parents must be respected, they gave life", "The problems in the relationship the two blame" "We need to be able to forgive» ...

Each pulling born truthful fragment of reality makes live a lifetime. First comes denial: "No, this can not be ... it's my mother ... or that's my husband, we married 20 years ...»

Then one understands - this piece is a unit of its subjective reality, and inflamed head knowledge and heart icy stream pouring wine. "Since I did so because I gave (a) a reason; I was then and this is made (a) is not so; I am guilty, I could not have foreseen, etc. »

Thereafter, ice shower guilt man suddenly aware of their actions and behavior in this fragment of reality, and realizes that he has not done, and n-h-e-r-on for this treatment with them. It begins noradrenaline kolotun rage and anger - "but how dare do this to me, my trust and love, my loved one crazy, just so capable with me? etc. »

But then comes the adrenaline noradrenaline, bringing fear, raising the question "hit or run." And regardless of the decision comes intolerable pain, terrible pain of realizing that with you so you could most native people. It is in this pain the person understands what it means to hate.

Along with the pain and hatred comes shame, because a person a long time, a long time know that such an attitude to him, such actions and behavior in his address - not the norm. The man knew that he had done nothing to treat him so, but allowed himself to this attitude. And he was ashamed in front of himself.

And then begins a gray, thick, hard inhaled mourning ... of himself. Man grieves that this fact of reality occurred to him. A man mourns himself, laments another response to his love, trust and affection. And like then should see the light at the end of the tunnel ...

But this does not happen, because it includes heresy that we must forgive. And people just trying to hard, forcing his soul, because then it will be right and good. Man tries to forgive, knowing the will of the weak, low intelligence and the inability to do otherwise.

Man will be able to move forward only if the leave the idea of ​​forgiveness, profitable only to those who caused or cause violence. The movement will continue when the person will be the courage to forgive, not to take the blame, recognizing that the inadmissibility of this attitude. And at this moment, when a person abandons himself another betrayal comes sedation, usually followed by removal of the offender from the internal and external plan, and there is complete indifference to him.

This happens when a perfect stay informed through the loop fragment of reality. More often than not there is motion in a circle, irregular man torn between denial, grief, anger, guilt, shame, fear, remembering microsecond good in a relationship, struggling with their clichés and stereotypes, fighting with itself, requiring radical changes and new internal supports.

Because the one because of whom came to the therapy - the closest person, who, in spite of this proximity, kill your soul. It is very difficult to throw a loved one from his life: he wants to change, he realized that, he realized, to stop hurting ...

That's what trauma therapy - it retrieve all fragments of unbearable truth about intimate relationships and experience it, pulling each thorn, every beat, in fact, born again

. Therapy is needed in order to regain his soul, even if you do it alone.

Author: Anna Igorevna Kozyura