30 fresh anecdotes that positive charge for the whole weekend!




Site Friday gathered a selection of anecdotes, large and small, to cheer you up at the end of the working week and the positive charge on the weekend! Mold reproduce by spores, so do not argue with mold.

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In Togliatti began and quickly decayed uprising machines.

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- Using a hammer, you have killed dozens of people and robbed hundreds. What can you say in your defense?
- The defendant, sit down and stop clowning around

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Despite the rain, bad weather, in spite of the diarrhea and the common cold, still come crawling to work.
Crawling.
But I will not work.

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The most secure passwords have illiterate people ...

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When the text of the word "free", my inner voice reads his voice Owls.

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A guy goes to a meeting, late, nervous, can not find a place
park. Raises face to the sky and says:
- Lord, help me find a place to park. I then give up drinking and
I am going every Sunday to go to church!
Suddenly, miraculously appears free place. The man again
refers to the sky:
- And, all is not necessary. Found!

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I choose a man on the basis that it was cool and happy to stand with them in the field in shorts. If suddenly the house burned down.

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No shame, no conscience. Nothing more!

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Our life - is a constant choice of who to entrust your ring finger, and to whom - the average

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A doctor examines a patient tests that:
- Well there is my business, Dr.
? - Um, can take credit
. - So I have nothing to give
. - And you will not have to

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She was dear to him. And he found a cheaper!

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All people want to make it in their language. But their language is not. Because there is no such word!

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And who came up with that of women is difficult? He came up, hugged, said the beautiful, smart ... If nothing at all in the head does not climb, he asked: "I do not understand you lost weight or something?»

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The most helpless creature in the world - it is a woman who has not dried up manicure

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Peas young, and you're not!
Cottage cheese low fat, and you do not!
fresh tomatoes, and you're not!
Oranges from Greece, and you from Bryansk!
I hate shopping.

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It is said that men do not cry. Yes, you just do not know how to offend them!

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Human maturation stages:
1) He's afraid of films with Freddy Krueger.
2) Laughing on films with Freddy Krueger.
3) I agree with Freddy Krueger.

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All strive to turn up in your quiet pool and hurt your cute devils.

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The couple in the theater ...
- Sarochka, you sit comfortably
? - Yes, Abramchik conveniently
! - You can see
? -. Yes, beloved
- You're not blowing
? - No, the golden
. - Let's switch places

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- Why do not you hang out in social networks
? - I'm a psychiatrist. I have such a dialogue on the missing.

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People often ask me how I did it all to keep up. The secret is very simple - I did not get

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You do not want anyone to share a man - did not drink it

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My friend loves the coffee, I prefer tea, so when we meet,
then drink vodka.

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How much trash does not rammed - will still have to make

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- Describe their attitude to alcohol in one word
. - Will

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- A schedule of holidays, you month on what letter
? - On "And»
. - Well, go Invar

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Every time I come out of the barber shop, I was tormented by one question: why I was asked how I want a haircut ..

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Fools easier. They have all their own.

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Wisdom does not always come with age. It happens that age comes alone.

via factroom.ru

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