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On the plane on adjacent chairs blonde and a lawyer. To fly for a long time.
Blonde silently turns and looks out the window.
Lawyer blonde:
- Let me ask you a question, if you do not know the answer - you give me $ 5. Then you ask me the question, if I do not know the answer - I
you $ 500. Blonde agrees.
Lawyer:
- What is the distance from the Earth to the Moon
? Blonde silently gives him $ 5.
Blonde:
- Who goes up the hill with three legs and comes down on four
? It takes a couple of hours. The lawyer phoned all the friends searched through the Internet, the answer can not be found.
Do nothing, he pays $ 500 blonde and asks:
- Who is this ???
Blonde silently hands him $ 5 and turns to the window.

***

< The new teacher came into the classroom, he found that one of the boys teased Moishe Fool. During the break he asked the children why they did so name-calling.
- Yes, it is really a fool, Mr. Teacher. If you give him a large coin in five shekels, and ten small, it will select the five, because he thinks that it is more. Here, look ...
A guy gets two coins and offers Moshe choose. He, as always, chooses five. The teacher was surprised to spraschivaet:
- Why did you choose the coin at five shekels, not ten
? - Look, she's more
Mr. Teacher! After the lesson, the teacher came to Moshe.
- Do not you understand that five shekels more than just size, but ten shekels, you can buy more
? - Of course I understand, Mr. Teacher
. - So why did you choose five
? - Because if I choose ten, they stop giving me money

! ***

< I am going to work, I ask my wife:
- Where is my new blue shirt
? -. There
- There it is where
? - The room
. - In the bedroom or living room
? - In the bedroom
. Going into the bedroom, I opened the closet. No shirt.
- She's not here
. - There
. - No
. - Look in the closet
. - I look in the closet. No it.
- With open eyes see
. - No, I say it here
! Footsteps wife - is the sound of inevitability. Walks to the bedroom, she goes to the cupboard, without looking puts into his hand and pulls my shirt. A silent look that says a lot. Leaves.
Left alone with the cabinet. Wardrobe - how I hate you ... and fridge too

. ***

< Leo bull sitting, dinner.
Leo's wife calling:
- Honey, you're home soon
- Yes, dear, I will soon
! Bull laughed:
- Well, you, Leo, you give - "Yes, dear, I will soon!" Well you're the king of beasts, I'm here on the table tres - silent woman, when it is necessary - and then come
! What Leo says:
- So you're not dub: you have a wife - cow, and I - Lioness

! ***

< Need help! I bought an apartment and began to live separately from their parents. So a month later came the bill for utilities. I paid him and me now send new every month. What I did wrong? It may not have to pay the first, but now they have realized that I am sucker?

***

< student came into the dining room, all the tables are occupied It sits next to the professor, and he says:.
-. Gus pig is not a friend
Student:
- Well, I flew
. Professor offended and decided on the exam students "fill up».
Exam Day. The professor gives the student the most difficult ticket, and he responds to fine him and the professor asks a further question:
- You go on the road and you see two bags, one of gold, the second with the mind. What you will choose?
Student:
- With gold
. Professor:
- And I would wisely took
. Student:
- This is someone that does not suffice
. The professor got angry and wrote in zachetke - "goat". The student did not look and walked away.
After a while, comes back and says:
- Professor, are you married, and the assessment is not put

! ***

< USSR. The village school has arrived young teacher In the first lesson, she says:.
- Kids, remember, there is no God! Feel free to show up at the sky figs.
All the children began to show figs together in the sky. Only in the back row Moshe sits quietly and does not show anything.
- Moishe, and why do you not care do not show? Because there is no God!
- If there is nobody there, then who show a fig? And if there is someone, why spoil the relationship? ...

***

< Black and white men go to the bakery. Black immediately steals 3 small rolls and puts them in his pocket.
And he says the white:
- See how I'm cool, I'm so load that the owner did not even notice anything
! - This is typical of you, - answers the white - now I'll show you an honest way to do the same
. He goes to the owner of the bakery and says:
- Give me a muffin and I'll show you the trick
. Intrigued by the master gives him a roll, he eats it and immediately asked the next, the master gives him another and he eats it again and ask the following, and the third is sent to the same bun.
The host asked:
- And what's been the focus of what you have done with biscuits
? A white and responds:
- Look in your pocket out of the black guy

. ***

< Husband sets wife question:
- Honey, do you have any erotic fantasy
? - There
. - Tell
. - I make love under the palm trees on an exotic island in the tropical night. Near the sea roar in the sky great stars. It smells of unfamiliar herbs. From wine dizzy ...
- And I - I have the top or bottom
- And you - stayed home

. ***

< The doctor comes to a sick baby Sees -. His younger sister runs on the floor barefoot
. - Come on, beautiful, put on slippers and then get sick
. After leaving the doctor's mother says that the girl is still running around barefoot.
- You heard what the doctor said
? - Yeah, he said I was pretty



! via factroom.ru

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