Top 10 killer jokes that reseat your Osenny longing

Website come this fall, because she knows that laughter prolongs life. We have prepared for the reader a selection of jokes that will make you immortal! Café enter two lawyers. Sit down, take out of the portfolios sandwiches. Waiter:
— And you know what we have with your meal is impossible?
The lawyers shrugged their crying and swapped sandwiches.

***

— Lucy, Wake up, our door was knocked eight times!
— Oh, God! Is it an octopus?!

***

— Your main weakness?
— Correctly interpret the semantics of the question, but ignore its essence.
— Could you give us an example?
— You could have.

***

— Doctor, am I dying?
— Well, you! You have, I will live!
— Hurray! I live at the doctor!

***

— Abram, and let's invite the neighbors for a holiday?
Why?
This will be fun.
— Sarah, I don't understand why makes you laugh, when strangers come and eat our food?

***

— You do not ensure that the animals of your zoo, it was not cold.
And who are you, exactly?
— The horse's coat.

***

— And what books you'd take to a desert island? I'd take Proust, Blanchot, Marquez and Baudelaire.
— I would take books on agriculture, Botanical Atlas, and health reference. And you will die!

***

— Welcome to "the Club stupid questions".
Is here "Club stupid questions"?
— You are now our new leader of the club.
— What club?

***

— Hut-hut, turn towards me to the forest, to the ass before!
— You put me in a philological dead end with their avant-garde idioms.
— Cho?
— Yes, about what I had in mind.

***

Three hours of the night! Who are you?
Is the dad of your student, Elena! Sleep?
— Of course!
— And we saw chestnuts, acorns pierce — preparing crafts for the contest "autumn goodbye"!

via factroom.ru