On the other side of boredom or boredom, as a return to his

Uh, and it was an important discussion this week. I write with the permission of the interlocutor. Verbose. Friend this week put the "diagnosis". Knowing how frivolous or perhaps too seriously, I'm a diagnosis, he asked, "to talk about it."

I asked about what he feels in the body, in the place where the "diagnosis" - -pustota said hole. And if it is translated into the language of emotions? He thought about it and said - boredom.

 - And next to you a lot of bored people

?  - Yes, my children often whine that they are bored. It infuriates me. Employees often say ...

 - And he often bored

?  - Well, it - you know Well my life - bored. Work, family ... Although, to be honest - probably, if it was not loaded, be longing devoured ... Buha do not want my father, you know ... women - not my ...

 - A sick-something when you can recall?

 - I remember - angry even then - a vacation to grab. And it was strange - on the one hand exploded with rage, on the other - was delighted. We agreed to leave all phones in a safe, without the Internet, phone, work ...

 - In general, the hole-hole? Smiley «smile» will ask you some stupid questions - do you remember when you were happy? Filled. "No hole" inside. When he could tell exactly what you want? What are you dreaming about? What is your favorite food?

We talked a long time that the "hole" that formed when he was 4 years (Now he is about 50). He remembered the anguish - the "hole" on the pope, when parents split up. The constant desire to please my mother. And the fear that she was going to go away somewhere.

The dish is a favorite - black bread with butter and doctoral sausage with tomato juice - 30 years have not eaten

. He remembered his childhood intention - always be good to him because no one quarreled or disagreed

. He remembered how at the school wanted to become a pioneer to the pope came to the dedication, and it was proud of. And yet - a dream to play on the guitar and start airplanes ...

And then the fog and melancholy ...

I reminded him that I can not be his therapist - we are old friends, I was too subjective and too much in love with him, to "work" qualitatively - but naboltal different stories, give contact colleagues and the ladies on my own "homework" Smiley «smile» < br>
Boredom - begins to emerge in our lives, when we "extinguish" the potential, when I was a natural - a true motion vector. When we are trying to be comfortable and pleasing to anyone, not to lose a sense of intimacy. When suppress are any stronger feelings.

The first sign of this "deviation" - we can not answer the question - what do I want? It is easier to say - that I do not want to. Or submit - to adjust to other people's desires

. A small child, which is responsible for adult feelings, desires and opinions that did not take into account - for him everything is always decide who understands that everything can not affect parents who hang on his expectations, his unrealized, his pain - loses contact with him.

When a child is ready to offer krasivennye toys and gadgets - instead of yourself and your communication and intimacy - this he quickly satiated and satisfied ...

Because domestic demand can not be replaced by external objects ... This is how to give a pacifier - instead of proximity.

He becomes a listless and apathetic or aggressive.

Boredom - a "symptom" of attachment disorders. A child is not confident in the love of parents, not filled with a sense of intimacy - is a hole inside (with English boredom and translated as a hole, the hole).

This is an internal funnel - longing - a hole - we are trying to fill that has access outside

. A symptom of this funnel - we can not be with yourself. We run from the fruitful loneliness (because confuse it with a sense of loneliness), we have in any free minute - hiding from themselves in the social network, we have drowned out our inner voice and create the illusion of someone's presence - filling the interior of the background music, chatter, the bustle, project - we pretend that it is very versatile and busy, we "thumps", hooked on drugs or are looking for all new partners, we start lovers and mistresses, we move from place to place, from country to country, we purchase in stores pretty and useless things accumulate diplomas and certificates ...

We "grow" inside illness who live in us, instead of the meaning of life ... But filling the funnel with something outside, we are further away from themselves and continue to betray myself ...

When external lethargy - boredom - an indicator of chronic stress. The level of the hormone cortisol in "bored" of people increased. Related symptoms - chronic fatigue syndrome

. Boring those who are afraid to be alone with yourself.
Bored to those who can not answer the question - what I want
. Boring those boredom replaces fear and anxiety.
Bored to those who have in the past (past or his family) a lot of pain and tragedy.

The funnel boredom - is our potential. Some important our part. And our sense of life.

A homework was so - and, of course, is not instead of doctors participate, and with them
. Mentally tell the parents - that are not responsible for their relationship and for their choice. What ever connected with them with love, and not their pain and suffering.

Remember, dreamed boy 4 years.

Often during the day to ask yourself the question - what I want

. Select as possible that leads to joy.

Track when the hand reaches for the phone, to the console ...

Say to yourself - I choose life. But if I was an important day - what I would do, say ...

Learn to allow yourself to say no.

SMS Sent today: "I bought a radio-controlled airplane. He ran with his sons after him like a young deer. He enrolled to the shrinks, which you gave. Hole fill barbecue. Wife bought flowers. I give the nod to the post in fb - Check whether Smiley «smile» distorted. "


See also

New and interesting