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About the dangers and benefits of three-piece I-statements
The benefits of I-statements, levels of existence and quality of life
In their studies and consultations, I often quote Mark fingers. Slightly simplifying the material of the book "Quantum model of the evolution of the individual", which describes the levels of human existence, I imagine something like this:
Level
physical body The level of bodily sensations
Emotions
Thoughts, reasoning
Actions, events
Values
Mission
At what level do you exist?
The correct answer is - at all. Simultaneously. But his attention can simultaneously hold only one. So the right question is: "Which of the levels you hold their attention for most of his life?»
Modern man is building a complex mental structure, logical connections, making the case, and - does not know what he was feeling
. The usual answer to the question "What do you feel now?»
- Normally all
- I do not know
- Poor me
- All zashib etc.
The reasons for a long time will not talk. I will say briefly - there is a setting to suppress feelings. Be sensitive and feeling - a sign of weakness. The Universe does not tolerate such distortions. There are youth subcultures such as emo (emotional experiences fixated on the young people who live for the sake and in the name of feelings residence).
As psychologists? Human outputted alternately from one level to the existence of the other and back. Harmonize all the layers of existence. Hence the fashionable notion of integrity.
How does I-statement:
I feel (the name of the senses). There are many feelings. For convenience, I highlight 10 basic synonyms or modalities:
(Can be challenged, even encouraged)
2. When are you (doing a particular case): the concrete actions caused emotional response, the better
. 3. For me, that means (my inner meaning prosihodyaschego, the need to do something, threat, etc.)
Examples of life:
I feel annoyed when you do not keep promises, for me it means that I can not trust you
I get angry when you leave in the sink dirty dishes, for me it means that my work is not respected (my time, my freedom, etc.)
I hesitate, when you're doing me a compliment, for me it means that I can be attractive to someone else, and I can not really love
I must say that in the world tripartite statements poorly acclimatized ... For two reasons: to be honest to admit their feelings and take responsibility for their shifts and projections, the people are deprived of a huge arsenal of manipulative techniques, the ability to play on the feelings ... And the second - that it follows however, from the first: between people, sincerely talking about their feelings and states, thoughts and intentions - comes proximity
. And that's almost unbearable for the modern man. He's so many different ways to escape from the vicinity invented (spirits, workaholism, smoking, extreme sports, illness and so on.). Where all this now ?!
Thus, the three-part statement (I-statement) links 3, 4, 5 layers (feelings, thoughts, events).
The one who has mastered the technique three-piece statements formed Skill alternately switch between these levels with sufficiently high speed, in order to get closer to a sense of integrity.
Trainings aimed at the expression of feelings - this useful skill training, an underlying chronic solution of vital problems in the relationship, which accumulated a lot of unsaid feelings, thoughts and nedodumali unfinished business.
Instead of an epilogue:
(Pie):
nedovlyubivshiesya people
nedorastrachennym warm
could warm quarters
nedopostroennyh homes
© Arhistrat
Author: Sophia Zelenková
In their studies and consultations, I often quote Mark fingers. Slightly simplifying the material of the book "Quantum model of the evolution of the individual", which describes the levels of human existence, I imagine something like this:
Level
physical body The level of bodily sensations
Emotions
Thoughts, reasoning
Actions, events
Values
Mission
At what level do you exist?
The correct answer is - at all. Simultaneously. But his attention can simultaneously hold only one. So the right question is: "Which of the levels you hold their attention for most of his life?»
Modern man is building a complex mental structure, logical connections, making the case, and - does not know what he was feeling
. The usual answer to the question "What do you feel now?»
- Normally all
- I do not know
- Poor me
- All zashib etc.
The reasons for a long time will not talk. I will say briefly - there is a setting to suppress feelings. Be sensitive and feeling - a sign of weakness. The Universe does not tolerate such distortions. There are youth subcultures such as emo (emotional experiences fixated on the young people who live for the sake and in the name of feelings residence).
As psychologists? Human outputted alternately from one level to the existence of the other and back. Harmonize all the layers of existence. Hence the fashionable notion of integrity.
How does I-statement:
I feel (the name of the senses). There are many feelings. For convenience, I highlight 10 basic synonyms or modalities:
(Can be challenged, even encouraged)
2. When are you (doing a particular case): the concrete actions caused emotional response, the better
. 3. For me, that means (my inner meaning prosihodyaschego, the need to do something, threat, etc.)
Examples of life:
I feel annoyed when you do not keep promises, for me it means that I can not trust you
I get angry when you leave in the sink dirty dishes, for me it means that my work is not respected (my time, my freedom, etc.)
I hesitate, when you're doing me a compliment, for me it means that I can be attractive to someone else, and I can not really love
I must say that in the world tripartite statements poorly acclimatized ... For two reasons: to be honest to admit their feelings and take responsibility for their shifts and projections, the people are deprived of a huge arsenal of manipulative techniques, the ability to play on the feelings ... And the second - that it follows however, from the first: between people, sincerely talking about their feelings and states, thoughts and intentions - comes proximity
. And that's almost unbearable for the modern man. He's so many different ways to escape from the vicinity invented (spirits, workaholism, smoking, extreme sports, illness and so on.). Where all this now ?!
Thus, the three-part statement (I-statement) links 3, 4, 5 layers (feelings, thoughts, events).
The one who has mastered the technique three-piece statements formed Skill alternately switch between these levels with sufficiently high speed, in order to get closer to a sense of integrity.
Trainings aimed at the expression of feelings - this useful skill training, an underlying chronic solution of vital problems in the relationship, which accumulated a lot of unsaid feelings, thoughts and nedodumali unfinished business.
Instead of an epilogue:
(Pie):
nedovlyubivshiesya people
nedorastrachennym warm
could warm quarters
nedopostroennyh homes
© Arhistrat
Author: Sophia Zelenková
