Good girls - awards will not be!

Good girls go to heaven and bad - which they will. German proverb.

Good girls (well, and the boys, too) go to heaven ... But heaven - he after death

. (From a personal conversation)

 - I always thought that if I do good, people will love me and take

.  - And what's your understanding of "good»

?  - Kind, flexible, compliant ... Polite, never zlyaschayasya others. Easy.

 - It is hard, perhaps, be the

?  - I'm in the group (psychotherapy) for a long time tried to be here so that's good. And you know what happened? I was such a quiet and flexible, no one noticed. I was a gray blur.

 - And you became bright

?  - When I started to get angry, just to talk about their anger and stopped to give way. And I'm very, very afraid that I have because of this rejected. That instead of indifference would be complete rejection. But something strange happened ...

 - What exactly

 - I began to notice with me began to talk, I became interested. That's when I began to get angry and express that their anger.

 - Why do you think this happened

?  - I think I just became natural ...

Good girls go to heaven and bad - which they want

... Mask tension on his face. Bound body. Sore shoulders ... neck feel numb when you start to knead it. I want to relax - it is impossible. Because it is necessary to keep the image. It is necessary to comply. It should be good. What does it mean to be good? And it depends on to whom and when. But always includes the expectation of praise and approval. From all exposed persons ... Because when my mother said, "Listen to the older," I did not realize that she was not referring to all senior ... And in general, she spoke only to listen to these people because they are - older. And I really, really want to be good to my mother, because I was only five years old ... Now I'm forty, but I remember what you told me, Mom ... and I try to listen to you ...

 - For whom? If mom is not there, then why do you need it NOW approval?

... And for me, you, my mother is very worried. You wanted me to have always been the most beautiful and the best. And I learned how to be the best. I flawless, I always say the right things, it is difficult to argue with me. I'm done, I know it. But why not work with anyone start a long term relationship, why me almost run?

 - Probably because you can not be close to perfection

. ... The worst thing for me - to face the disapproval. Open, expressed disapproval, no matter whose ... He looks at me, man, and I have to compress the internally - suddenly it is about the hell he thinks? Surely he was thinking something like that ...

 - And what do you want to hear from me

?  - It's funny, but I would like you to convince me that this man really thinks well of me. Or do not think about me.

 - I'll sit and look at you. Before it was silent and looked at you. What happened to you?

 - I'm scared. It seems to me that you think I'm nothing. And I am trying very hard to earn your approval you to say something nice to my address.

 - And if I, for one, think bad about you

?  - This is a disaster ...

 - ... You know, I get bored when you're trying to be perfect, right, perfect. I'm sleepy. Even pulls look at the clock.

 - I noticed you looked at a couple of times a mobile phone

.  - Yeah, you can not hide. The keen interest in me is born when you did not pretending. When you get out of the shell and the ideal of perfection. I like your mistakes and follies no less than an interesting thought ... With beautiful ancient statue nothing to talk about ...

Grand Illusion - to behave as "good" to you approved and praised, and wait on life for this award. But the rewards - will not

. But there is another illusion. Confused naturalness and licentiousness, the inability to feel other people's personal boundaries. Here it is, the art of communication - be able to express themselves - different, including "bad" - not trampled with another. Here it is, the art of life - to find their way and to follow it, relying on its own system of values, and not spend all the time in the implementation of foreign plants in the barren dream that for the good execution of "homework" life in general, and other people in the particularly give you candy ...

Author: Ilya Latypov