What should learn from the French

I have long understood that any discussion about "what really French," is doomed to come to a standstill if its representatives are expatriates. And especially if it is carried out in the network rather than in real life. Each argument in which a hundred people believe, will certainly break on someone's unshakable "I have twenty years of living in France, and never with such did not face (-las)." All your observations go down the drain when there is a man who'd never seen or noticed, and you live, apparently, in some different Frances.

But I am convinced that and the truth is born. Not in dispute (because enter into a debate on the Internet the most thankless job), and is not to cease to observe and talk about it.

Maybe now someone will protest again in the comments to this text, and that's fine. In the end, as always - the authors say, the audience they objected


The first question most frequently asked by the emigrant when he comes home on vacation or meeting with someone from their overseas for the differences between the nationalities. It's almost a question-record holder. And the longer you live abroad, the harder it is so soon to formulate a clear answer. There are some very bright markers, which can feel a big difference in attitude, but behind them a dozen or even hundreds of other, less visible at first sight, but no less important than what lies on the surface.
For example, a different childhood. People even from your generation who were born in another country, increased by other values ​​(sweets, cartoons, entertainment and education system). I have more than four years, is familiar with French boyfriend, and yet can not help wondering, and smile when he sees in the store packaging of a cookie or chocolate and remembers how to eat it as a child.
You do notice ever as many of our childhood memories tied to flavor and aroma? French children born in the late 80s and early 90s in the afternoon eating a baguette with tiles of milk chocolate. What ate (and dressed) we are in the 90s - you remember well)) Merry was time for our parents, and themselves
for us. Next - a completely different system of education. This is especially true of higher. And the choice of future profession, and with it - and the profession
. In France, not accepted to finish university "for Mom and Dad," and then throw away the diploma and go into free-swimming. There is one case in a thousand, when a person with a degree lawyer decides to design clothes, and a pharmacist opens a hipster coffee shop somewhere in the Marais.
Choosing a profession, applicants essentially choosing the rest of his life. And it is hellishly difficult, which is why some take a year before going to university - to walk, think, collect my thoughts
. For us, an absolute norm is to obtain a profile that we will never come in handy, if only was the "crust". Where is my diploma, for example, I have no idea. They asked me for it at least once in the course of employment? No. I work in the specialty? Also no.

Drinking relations, pardon the pun. And to build the family. These issues are not at the forefront, when children grow up and reach the age when he can start and his. In this case, a French family often two or three children the same age. But parents will not hurry: women glancing frantically on the biological clock, they almost knock of 20, while men do not look clumsy dads, and who is not very able to take care of, not that of a small child
. From here - a huge difference in the understanding of what inner freedom. It does not seek to constantly be with someone in a pair, because it is not an indicator of social viability. The French do not ask "what's wrong with me," if all the classmates have married, and you're still there. This is due to the ability to listen to yourself and your own desires, not to be led by the crowd, the parents or the "well-wishers". That's why there is not too early to get married and are in no hurry to start a family, because there are plenty of other very important things. Become someone else, for example. Independent person, for example.
The alignment of roles between men and women in pairs - it is also a completely different world. Here, a woman does not expect any economic qualities. Hence - nest and hatch chicks to the detriment of his career, too, is not accepted in France
. I am preparing now quite a lot of material on how to take care of French men for not French. Nothing so clearly does not show the whole range of differences between "them" and "us", as the female perspective on the ratio of men to it. In France, on the part of women do not have this sacrifice - lay himself out in the process of preparing a feast, clean, wash, iron on their own, carry bags of groceries after work and then half an hour to stand in the kitchen. All this can make a man. And no one emphasizes the importance of performing these duties, because the two live in the house. Accordingly, the two maintain order there.
And by the way the attitude towards life. I recently read an interview with a wedding decorator from Ukraine, who said that in Europe the wedding services market is not as developed as in Ukraine, Russia and the US, of course. Pomposity, nice and "like the pictures" do it with us, and that Europeans are not able to.
And that for me was a moment of some inspiration. Because really, what huge budget we spend on a dream wedding - to think terribly. People take loans, borrow money to spend, in fact, a magnificent party.
And looking at the French and the way they equip your life, I know that people here are willing to invest in each day spent together, not one banquet. Suffice it to note, as in France, stores a series of "everything for the home", where you can buy any thing - from fork to chandeliers, from bed linen to the thematic elements of decor for children's rooms, from the bedside rug to purposely aged chandelier. Prices for every budget. Choice - crazy. And in turn these stores no less than clothes and food. Because every day should be beautiful.

And from this follows the general philosophy not pokazushnichat and live for themselves. For example, do not buy expensive cars and the latest iPhones, but would not hit the front of someone to lose face, or simply sketch to friends. We always worry about what people will say the same. We want to be good. And here just want to be. Be, not seem to be. That's why of the French say they know the art of living: because of their desire to live beautifully, deliciously comfortable and directed inward rather than outward

. A few weeks ago I spent a walk in places Remarque in Paris for a pleasant couple from Moscow. We crossed the Alma bridge and talking about local markets. I let slip that sometimes people are not too lazy to travel from one district to another (sometimes - across town) to get to a particular market, where the choice of a better, more pleasant prices, and so on. My guests poulybalis and said with a sigh, that is, of course, you can afford when you have a lot of spare time. And I thought that the French basically leisurely guys. Nobody is in a hurry. They do not fuss and buzz from the process. Any process.
Of course, it is not that "they" live well and "we" - supposedly not. But with all these big and small differences, opening up new facets of life and "them" and "us." The main thing - to transcend your ego at the right time and somewhere to learn something from the people who grew up on other values. And other sweets.
Author: Olga Kotrus


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