The conflict between the desired and the present

Going to the success and the system of human values ​​

Perhaps you know the situation is: a person wants to be successful, want to go to success, constantly declares about it, but in fact, except the words, no specific body movements do not. Just goes on to say: "Yes, I'm sure I want to change, I need to be more active, to be more resolute and etc.»

. The situation you surely know, and perhaps this is your situation, too.

The desire to change for the better is, and there is no specific action, or it is not essential so that even you yourself understand this. And it can not be said that a person or you do not want to change. Simply, there is "something" that constantly interfere with this positive intention, implicitly or explicitly. Very common statement on the subject:

"I do not understand why I do nothing».

"I want to, really want to, but do not do».

"It is planned to change the active plan for tomorrow, and tomorrow, just do not remember at all about a deliberate»


What is it and why it happens? The man he wants, but in fact ineffective. Reproaches himself, cursing, but remains without the necessary movement. For a split personality.

A simple and formulaic explanation of the reasons for this behavior usually comes down to laziness: "Laziness mother born forward." But because it is the pattern and the pattern that the surface and look for it, and not everyone knows how. This requires knowledge.

And if, indeed, laziness and indolence have their own reasons, learning and changing that laziness is quite possible to get rid of. Laziness - it is not a cause, it consequently.

Thus, the purpose of the article: to uncover the reasons why a person says one thing and do may be quite different.

Connecting creative thinking.

Imagine your computer desktop. It has a program icon, through which you run some corresponding data programs of action.

Now draw an analogy.

Desktop personal computer - it is the human mind. Human consciousness - this is an area in which we recognize and appreciate myself as a person with a certain set of qualities, abilities and capabilities. As done by the audit itself, we, by the way, completely on the machine, determine the area of ​​our life and its borders. In fact, we only associate ourselves with the knowledge and information available to it.

At some point, we make a decision and are aware of it, relying only on the information available it is obvious in the files of consciousness (the desktop). What is beyond his ability to control, is covered for us, "darkness" and the like do not exist.

As with the eyes: what in their field of vision does not fall, attention is taken into account already worse. There all as a desktop PC. What it is - I see and pay attention. What is stored in files that are not on the desktop, which is not a daily necessity, - I can not forget and remember at all. But if I forgot and do not use the files, say they continue to influence the overall computer work? Especially if "heavy" files?

Continuing the analogy.

In addition, it thinks itself to himself, "mind - Desktop", with what importance it has itself to their concerns and how independent of "internal operating system" itself thinks it is under software control, hidden in the operating system of the depth and attention not available at all.

That is, there are two control systems: the obvious and the hidden. To make it clearer: clear management system we call a "specific action", the hidden control system is called "incitement to a specific action." The fact that a person performs a specific action - is the work of the obvious control systems. What reason makes a person perform a certain action - is hidden in man, and inaccessible to the attention of consciousness control system

. Moreover, consciousness is increasingly subordinated to the fact that his attention is hidden and that his protective filters are not even "see».

Compared with explicit control system (desktop icon) to which the person himself can influence and change the hidden control system was established before the person became aware of himself as an individual. This system is increasingly inherit and share of investments from outside. Name it - the system of human values ​​

. Understand the system of values, in this case it is not necessary as the moral aspect of personality, but as a form and a part of the unconscious man. The moral aspects of human personality are just the tiny tip of the iceberg, most of which is on the outside of consciousness. The system of values ​​determines how a person thinks, creates an opinion on the meaning of life in things and phenomena encountered in nature and society (social systems).

For example, it is time to create a family man. This is the time of choice. Do you think that contributes to the choice? Replies will be many, they will be different, but the denominator is they have one - man selection will be based on the latent in the unconscious system of values.

We emphasize this is a choice, it is based on the unconscious and conscious simply will have an explanation of the choice made. Error at all to think that we are making the majority of the election, based on intelligent calculation. This is a tale to calm mind and ego Tieshan living in it. Most people commit acts based on the beliefs and beliefs are part of a system of values.

Example. "How could you choose a husband this man ?!" - exclaims girlfriend. How how? For he is like the pope very much. Or (to himself, I am afraid to say out loud that stupid not to look) in the Hero movie / book, which so impressed me.

Yes, the system of values ​​formed by experience, when something struck the imagination. Helping to create an emotional imprint. It is invisible and seemingly abstract has an effect on a person is very powerful, and even material.

Question. Why pregnancy is not recommended to look terrible?

The system of values ​​within each of us creates an emotional impulse to a specific set of actions, this set is strictly limited to its borders. Like, free to choose, but within volerchika. Consciousness says, "I choose!". about this value system will say, "Yeah ...»

Now attention, dear experts.

We started this article about success, about the desire and determination to move towards it.

Earlier we wrote that the movement to succeed there is an innate human need. Not only human. Everything in nature to strive for success: a tree stretches up to the sun, the cat seizes skill to slightly open the door of the cabinet, where the food is hidden

. Striving for success is a given. But we define a clear, clear question.

And that, in fact, for a man in his value system is a success? Not in the conventional sense of the word, and on an individual basis.

After all, success - is, above all, the experience of a certain state. We want to experience success! Feel the cells of the body physically. The body, which is part of the subconscious mind, wants to feel. And the value system encourages people to experience the experience.

And can there be such a ...

The success of the system of values ​​in man may be a repetition of experiences of parents in their unhappy relationships. Sometimes the same is: love is gone, keep commitments. Parents suffer, the child does not understand the logical arguments, but feels the atmosphere. Located in it and absorbs it, impressive precisely this model of relations. No more for him "right" or "wrong." These assessments will then be based on the model of the senses absorbed parents relations. Soak up and logged on its values.

It turns out that the "success" in a relationship for such a grown child will stay again the model developed in childhood. This is contrary to logic. Even if the assessment itself is already an adult and "understand life" of man: "I saw that my parents are suffering, and I do not want to." You can call a repeat experience of the state of parental success? Yes. But it is the success of the system of values, hidden in the unconscious. Not always such a success is sweet, but it is the attainment of a truly desirable.

Sometimes it is difficult to imagine to admit it, but our real desires are different from what we say.

Thus, forming the answer to the question: "Why does a person says one thing and can come in a different way»

. In the conflict between the conscious and unconscious statements of human manipulation of the existing system of values ​​in it a clear winner of the competition it will last. If the person still wants to achieve success in terms of generally accepted notions, for example, to achieve freedom, leadership, happiness and development; then it is primarily necessary to examine and debug their interior personality. Margin of victory or defeat is hidden there.

Chinese sage Lao Zi in ancient times said: "First we need to get over yourself." Do not suppress their identity and to understand it.

A founder of the School Nakshbandiya Bahauddin Naqshband spoke about the internal structure of the person, meaning a formula personality.

Continuing the example about the relationship.

The man himself is already coming in unhappy relationships thinks, "Well, I tolerate it?".

The answer is not in the mind, it is the system of values: "Impressive certain behavior model? Testing. "Even if a person will still rupture of relations in order to find happiness with another / others, he again commits another repeat of the same, that is already there. With the proviso that never realizes latent mechanics sense.

Most of the person to understand a little can. To create the hairstyles need a mirror. You can, of course, comb your hair and without even thinking, combed his hair that is normal, but the fact that you really combed, show only a mirror. What can we say about the complex world of human senses. You can pretend that everything is going wrong, but if for some reason it's just kind of, the emotional explosion sooner or later happen. Confirmation of this we can see almost every day in the news. I lived confident person and suddenly ...

Aim for success determines the value system in man. And if inside you there is a conflict between the desired and true reality, it is time in a way - to explore your own inner world. Search and find the real cause of what is happening in your life.

Good luck!

Authors: Nikolai Tretyakov and Anna Tretyakova


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