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CANDIDATES FOR unsuccessful marriage.

How to recognize the types of men, family relationships which will turn into disappointment.

In our country, at the level of mentality main task in life is to marry a woman, and not later than this make girlfriends. "Overstay on the shelf" terrible nuclear war, it is imperative to go to the registry office, and then you can sculpt of the restrictions of the Prince. Therefore, trying to soberly assess the true feelings and personal qualities of the partner as it is not accepted - just agreed on a stamp in your passport, it means that love

! Unfortunately, among the suitors come across individuals, of which Prince Charming is not never hatch. two major categories of men to marry them (or even associate with them any obligations) can be identified it is not necessary.



Firstly, it sociopaths.

From the "terrible" sound of the term, many conclude that sociopathy - a mental illness pathology. Not at all, psychologists believe that a way of life that is expressed in the desire to satisfy their desires, without regard for others. Against the background of reduced empathy, "emotional stupidity," such aspirations can acquire dangerous, even criminal nature.

The behavior of sociopaths very impressive - they are sociable, brave in action, ready to give gifts and do exploits "in the name of love" that flattering ladies. But the "feats" prove to be risky antics, and the presents are expensive not bought at honestly earned money, and vymanennymi deceit, and even stolen. About love we are not talking - it's just a desire to shock the audience

. Sociopath may be people from any social environment, but as a rule it is the children of successful businessmen, who from birth lay in the subconscious mind of the purpose of justifying the means. Parents scrambled to the tops of financial well-being often literally over the dead bodies, and that children are not scared, they are easy to break the life leave their wives with children without means of subsistence. Because their goal - to live as you want, and therefore it will always have to reach

. Of course, the gay life and find thrills not do without strong drink and drugs. Girl for a sociopath - a sign of status, that is another accessory which can be treated as anything. And his wife just will not go away, it is allowed to beat, maim, if it tries to change such a wonderful way of life beloved. Homicide by negligence in such pairs the highest.

Since sociopathy is not a mental illness, involuntary treatment for this individual does not follow, and our society, unfortunately, it treats them unreasonably loyal. And this attitude, of course, only exacerbates the problem, causing more and more people to live, not being guided by social norms.

Secondly, we should mention the category of men who can be called "hangers».

Fish-sticking, as you know, I do not hunt, and selects extraction followed by a predator, while not putting their lives at risk, since it is, again, prey to fear. In humans, there is a certain type of men who are themselves no matter what are not capable, but the "glow" of the family, the company gives them more attractive to women looking for the other half. They are much more harmless sociopaths, will not maim or kill in a fit of anger, but to the role of head of the family fit no more.

As a rule, "remora" - the children of wealthy parents. This is due to the fact that poor families do not survive such slackers - or learn to work, or a quick roll "on an inclined" - drink too much, sit in jail. The rich family "stuck" stylishly dressed, well mannered, and looks very promising her husband. Consider that it exists only on the money my parents immediately uneasy. Especially when they offer her son "dowry" - an apartment, car, arrange on a "warm place" to study and work

. Sitting on the neck of the parents, and then, moving deftly under the wing to his wife, "sticking" may "seek themselves" indefinitely. "Eternal student" - that's another name for such people. Get the second, third degree, but to fly with the last course - that is their hallmark. They will sing about the injustice of teachers or the sudden realization the wrong choice, capable of destroying their lives, as well as come up with a thousand more reasons for acquittal, but it is actually just "stuck" afraid of responsibility

. After graduating, I have to go to work, to build a career, a family, and it is difficult and cumbersome, require too much effort. Live on the parents or to shift the problem of making money on the shoulders of his wife, is much easier and more enjoyable.

At first, life with the "remora" may seem interesting. He is full of grandiose plans, which loves to talk, promise "golden mountains". But a critical analysis of speeches, it turns out that all his talk - about how cool. Interlocutor interests him not as a person but as a disembodied audience should only reverently listen and play along in the right places and admire.

It is necessary to get it to start implementing the dream, and the reaction will be negative, sometimes even aggressive. If you find him a job - he is quickly dismissed and then ruin the business. All plans "remora" - just castles in the air, and to work to achieve something he can not in life, and does not want

. As a result, when the money dries up stream from the parents, and the wife puts an ultimatum to the need for their livelihood, "stuck" simply excludes from his family life, and even his wife accused all the troubles. The woman is often left on the street (as the apartment's parents gave her husband), children, and even a long time - "remora" love to borrow under its grandiose ideas, though, then just despise money to a loved one. Spirits, by the way, too, their frequent companion - a drink and complain that no one understands - what could be better ?!

What can we do to get married really successful?

You can say that the heart can not command, but a hasty marriage is still a tribute to our mentality, reluctance to look at the background of waning ringed girlfriends.

It will inevitably come a time when the state will take the blind love and dignity, as well as defects of character chosen will be clearly visible. And if the shortcomings will be critical of your hurry will depend parted easy to start all over again, or find yourself saddled with children and a mortgage, that is not the responsibility of the romantic.

After all, if a man loves, he will agree to wait until you take a look to it, but here are some tips on what you should pay attention to "remove the rose-colored glasses»:

Care.

It's not about ritual flowers and gifts during courtship, and the ability to be part, an effort to help solve the problem, to protect. If you get sick, it will ring up friends in search of a better doctor? Meet in the evening after work? It is simply going to listen without being distracted by an interesting TV show, will help to understand the situation, remember the request?

Self-control.

Love and jealousy often go hand in hand, but excessive jealousy - not good. Distrust equal contempt, not love. Jealous, the owner does not consider a person's wife - a thing that belongs to him. Can it for you "hold nature", to change the habit? How dependent on the opinions of friends, family, and willing to go there against them, if they are unfair to you? And in the case of your blunders will be lenient just like you to it?

Discipline.

Discipline - is the ability to follow the rules, including those imposed on their own. Spontaneity - is also part of life, sometimes pleasant, like an unexpected gift. But if you save money, for example, for the treatment of teeth, and her husband "on his heart" decides "to give us the" new cool spinning, it is not only unpleasant, but also hurt in the truest sense of the word! By the way, the ability to plan - the same kind of discipline. Ask the chosen one of his goals - not only abstractly, but concretely, in the immediate future, and see how successful they will be achieved

. Achievements.

What is your favorite has reached in life as their plans fulfilled? It has a habit to bring the case to the end, or throws halfway - this can be seen even in the household responsibilities. Of course, "to become the wife of the general, it is necessary to marry the ordinary", and you will support her husband, will help to achieve more.

But if a man is "thirty" is never a completed education, a few credits and a mosque with a "business project", which change as the pieces of glass in a kaleidoscope ... Most likely you instead of a happy family life will have to solve its problems, and even gratitude will not wait, he will perceive your work several jobs as a norm, not forgetting to reproach for the poor performance of "domestic duties" of women.

Summarizing, we can say that love - it is certainly nice, but the children are from her. Romantic infatuation and family life - two different things, do not succumb to stereotypes, look to the chosen carefully, and most importantly - do not confuse dreams with reality.

Author: Maria Kudryavtseva