Save yourself - and that's enough to you Bashny.Net

What is really there to dissemble, we all tend to help both your family and complete strangers. Many of us believe in the bright future of his neighbor, someone manages to help selflessly give last shirt, to the last beat of the safe device of another man's destiny ... And occasionally forgets his own. And for good reason. Oh, how vain.

There are people who help others elect their life path and his profession. True, they pretty soon understand through full immersion in the process of helping one's neighbor, that their original motivation fail, do not always lead to positive changes and not in those amounts, which would like to have, and that "drowning" is somehow not in a hurry for some reason ... ... grasp at the circle, which he continually throw.




Then rescuers revise their beliefs and, most likely, come here to such a surprising conclusion:

The rescue of drowning - the handiwork of drowning

. It is useless to help a person if he does not want to help themselves. This happens fairly quickly seen by the absence of positive changes in the life of this man. He has his head on his shoulders, even using it. Why put on him his? You give your time, money, health, hope ... and the results are meager. But all this you could spend on themselves. Understand, this life of his, he chose her (No? Then for a long time everything would have changed, and if you do not change, then no strength or desire, there's no way to help with directions). And his choice, even if a country need to respect and recognize.

Helping someone help acts as the aggressor, and that it helps someone becomes a victim. When the victim helped the game starts all over again, except that the roles are reversed. Therefore, from the good deed goes unpunished. Yes. And yet, it is better in this regard at all to remove from the vocabulary word "help, help", and the process of helping to disguise so well and good to the "victim" thinking that she does everything. And of course neither of which praise and gratitude in his address better not to think.

Weak people on and weaknesses that they have no power to change something inside they are empty, they constantly whine and whine. This process is eternal ... Helping such people person ogrebet more problems on his head, rather than actually benefit another. Weak people - are energy vampires, it will always be just a little: your attention, time, money, effort ... They view the "donors" nothing more than a resource, though not aware of it. With this in mind, do not let the weak man parasitize on yourself and do not confuse yourself with Mother Teresa, she was quite a unique mission on earth. If you personally was not God, and did not give such a mission, then you have it another.

Helping you equally degrading and undermine confidence. Moreover, adequate, reasonable equal you in strength of spirit people mad at you if you accept to help him actively presenting itself assistance act ... and rightly so.

A strong assistance is not needed. They need moral support and a positive delight.

How can that be?

 - Be healthy selfish and think about yourself first. This is absolutely normal! It is necessary in all, ideally, to see its benefits. If not, then determine for yourself how long and how much you are willing to engage in altruism, then to blame but himself had used a certain (if you suddenly sit on the neck, for example). "Save yourself and thousands around you will be saved" (Seraphim) ... because that man's salvation must remain the prerogative only of God, if you do not believe in God, it is still certainly not you.

 - From the first output followed by a second: you well in any way, if you are not God, can not know exactly all the details of the life of another person, that in his mind, how he thinks, what his relationship with other people, even if it is your blood relative with whom you live under the same roof. So if he was in the marsh or in the problem, it is likely he deserved it, and do not need him to sympathize with, and punish it for that alone must carry and sort for him in his own problem is not necessary - in all three cases, you tie to bear with him of his cross (on the principle of energy and the formation of karmic connections), respectively, and the "receive head" of the universe will be together, if the problem can not decide.

 -. If you can not completely be attributed to the psychologist himself, guru, teacher, etc., the most sensible reaction on your part with respect to the neighbor would SUPPORT. The usual moral support, without fanatstvovaniya. There is also better to be guided by healthy egoism, because the support can be different each time will depend on the situation.

PS This article is dedicated to all who love themselves, who value personal time and who want to maintain health. And it is not a question of acts of mercy and charity feeding - it's quite another story ... but border, however, is quite thin.