Bashny.Net
The only reason why you have no friends
Bashny.Net
Site publishes a wonderful post popular LJ Blogersha and very wise woman Yana Frank, which will be useful especially introverts, and all the people who do not have friends. You feel terribly lonely? You may have something do not. < I've always been a melancholy read letters from readers who describe how they are alone. They do not have a circle of friends, they can not make friends, but really want. And they go for some vicious circle - the worse it gets, the greater the despair, the strange behavior, the more they shy away from all the harder to make new friends
.
And sometimes, though it is clear that a person does not - sitting and waiting for the weather at sea, complains or something inappropriately behaving, requires people to things that no one expect and demand actually not worth it. But there are others - who say that they have tried, what books to read, how to analyze their experience. And think - well, that's the person active, not sitting on the ground, trying to see myself from the outside, the normal thing is trying. It is difficult to understand, why it does not work?
But two things I noticed that slip by the absolute majority of voproshayuschih.I it is not even two separate points, and the two sides of the same problem.
Firstly, they somehow not properly imagine what friendship.
Secondly, it is strange they currently are, they do not find the required number of friends needed in order to make it easy to be friends with them.
I'm here once interviewed people who have many friends. We mean real friends. Just Friends are friends. Few people call more than three. Many say this directly to each other or friends no. Moreover, among the respondents - a huge number of people with very vibrant social life. They have a lot of friends, they meet them, chat, call back, go to the movies. In general - do everything, the dream of the authors of the letters in the style of "I'm all alone»
. And when you begin to correspond here with these lonely people, who really want to find someone, they often complain that "Oh Nooo ... you know, such a surface friendly relations I do not mean - I want to find a friend! Here true friend! To a stranger, but a friend! »
And then they list what they want with this friend to do, that is, roughly speaking, Why it this needs a friend And here begins:. "In the movie, walk, talk, discuss hobbies, adventures, children , movies, books, walking to the gym, to the dance ... "And it turns out that a true friend can be one or two, it is real, its not enough. And do they want with it all-all of the above.
And in actual fact - look at these true friendship, to those whom people call her a true friend. This very rare a person with whom you do straight everything.
Well, one thing, some interest, usually with another still delish. Or a couple. But a good one - it's not the kind of person who is constantly telling all his work, which go everywhere, and you spend all your free time! In general, I know very few people who could just be friends. After all, people have their own lives.
Look closely to all those who have friends and who lives life to the fullest, with much as he wants to communicate. How much are they with their real friends are seen? How often call back? Not so much out. True true friend - it's really something special With him, perhaps, say once a month.. But if there will be something really serious, which need serious help, support, trust - it will be one of those whom you can ask. Who and something so help that people are not made for each.
But ... again. These are people who do not have friends and supposedly do not know how to make friends (or do not have much positive experience in this case) - see what they list, when you ask "what can be done only with a friend»
The first thing everyone says is a "heart to heart talk." This is - first mistake! < Talk heart to heart can be very much with anyone! And it must be! Not only a single best friend!
feel better! Council received! Opinions hear! may be more will understand for himself lay on the shelves, trying to explain to others. To "have a heart" suit not only friends, but also many friends, even very close. Apart from psychologists, strangers on the Internet, and what some disposable counter - on the train or at the bar. I'm serious!
And some think that everything depends on the theme And about the sex, for example ... or about family problems ... And actually -. So easily! Do you know how many strangers with me already talked about his sexual problems! In the first 10 seconds of wonder, and then you realize that the person just decided that we might be interesting to talk about this. And he has a problem that it takes. So he went and talked.
And about his brother in prison, and about an alcoholic mother and son about the robber - who only I was not complaining! Very often, the first day of our acquaintance! Or for a second in the life of a common cup of coffee! < I do not need this for 25 years pre friendship! and do not need everything, everything, what you need to talk, to throw out on one or two single friends! Pity them. Working for someone only vest - tyazhelooo! Anyone get bored. Especially considering the fact that if someone has any problem hurts, he wants to talk about it often and much. So - talk with different all will be easier and no one will escape, because its theme this zadolbali
.. Or here: help. < What is something very simple can help even the neighbor Now, if someone has a house burned down, and right now the whole family to sleep at night there is no place -. The first one to ask for help - it's close friends, yes. But to drag cases to help during the journey, or give advice as some softinu win and set up e-mail - not necessarily need a best friend. Colleague can ask a friend. Yes, actually, and here - at least the entire Internet, anonymously
. In general, I is the fact that the people mentally imagine this "close friend" - as a vent for all occasions And they would like to find a universal outlet -. Found two and having them do everything. And they realized that they - the only ones in the world, quickly escape. Because even for the best of all "hobby" nobody wants to respond immediately with all his life and all of his time.
Shift into a lot of friends and different! Let someone only once every six months goes to the movies with you. If you have 20 of these, you will be walking with someone in a movie often! Do not ship on one person at once the whole burden of responsibility for all your happiness. And if five out of thirty will not be for you a year's time -. Your world will not collapse
Friendship remeasured In the sense that they are trying to cram too many "responsibilities" which are generally not a single person can not make himself
A friendly -. underrated Because the people "looking for a friend," for some reason believe that the man -. it is all one. And if not the closest friend, it means "fi».
And it is not so in life. In the closest friend and gay friendly intercourse sometimes - a lot of colors. And these are the best friends, too, from birth these were not. First there were colleagues, neighbors, friends. And then someone with someone approached and befriended stronger. This is a 5-minute does not work with anyone else.
< A in the preliminary and intermediate stages between zero and the jackpot can find a lot of happiness, wonderful conversations, this warmth, engagement, love, the brightest moments in life. You just need to take that give, with gratitude, enjoy it. And do not complain all the time, that it does not quite fit, because this bargain did not offer right hand, heart, and the keys to his whole life.
via miumau.livejournal.com/2093965.html
.
And sometimes, though it is clear that a person does not - sitting and waiting for the weather at sea, complains or something inappropriately behaving, requires people to things that no one expect and demand actually not worth it. But there are others - who say that they have tried, what books to read, how to analyze their experience. And think - well, that's the person active, not sitting on the ground, trying to see myself from the outside, the normal thing is trying. It is difficult to understand, why it does not work?
But two things I noticed that slip by the absolute majority of voproshayuschih.I it is not even two separate points, and the two sides of the same problem.
Firstly, they somehow not properly imagine what friendship.
Secondly, it is strange they currently are, they do not find the required number of friends needed in order to make it easy to be friends with them.
I'm here once interviewed people who have many friends. We mean real friends. Just Friends are friends. Few people call more than three. Many say this directly to each other or friends no. Moreover, among the respondents - a huge number of people with very vibrant social life. They have a lot of friends, they meet them, chat, call back, go to the movies. In general - do everything, the dream of the authors of the letters in the style of "I'm all alone»
. And when you begin to correspond here with these lonely people, who really want to find someone, they often complain that "Oh Nooo ... you know, such a surface friendly relations I do not mean - I want to find a friend! Here true friend! To a stranger, but a friend! »
And then they list what they want with this friend to do, that is, roughly speaking, Why it this needs a friend And here begins:. "In the movie, walk, talk, discuss hobbies, adventures, children , movies, books, walking to the gym, to the dance ... "And it turns out that a true friend can be one or two, it is real, its not enough. And do they want with it all-all of the above.
And in actual fact - look at these true friendship, to those whom people call her a true friend. This very rare a person with whom you do straight everything.
Well, one thing, some interest, usually with another still delish. Or a couple. But a good one - it's not the kind of person who is constantly telling all his work, which go everywhere, and you spend all your free time! In general, I know very few people who could just be friends. After all, people have their own lives.
Look closely to all those who have friends and who lives life to the fullest, with much as he wants to communicate. How much are they with their real friends are seen? How often call back? Not so much out. True true friend - it's really something special With him, perhaps, say once a month.. But if there will be something really serious, which need serious help, support, trust - it will be one of those whom you can ask. Who and something so help that people are not made for each.
But ... again. These are people who do not have friends and supposedly do not know how to make friends (or do not have much positive experience in this case) - see what they list, when you ask "what can be done only with a friend»
The first thing everyone says is a "heart to heart talk." This is - first mistake! < Talk heart to heart can be very much with anyone! And it must be! Not only a single best friend!
feel better! Council received! Opinions hear! may be more will understand for himself lay on the shelves, trying to explain to others. To "have a heart" suit not only friends, but also many friends, even very close. Apart from psychologists, strangers on the Internet, and what some disposable counter - on the train or at the bar. I'm serious!
And some think that everything depends on the theme And about the sex, for example ... or about family problems ... And actually -. So easily! Do you know how many strangers with me already talked about his sexual problems! In the first 10 seconds of wonder, and then you realize that the person just decided that we might be interesting to talk about this. And he has a problem that it takes. So he went and talked.
And about his brother in prison, and about an alcoholic mother and son about the robber - who only I was not complaining! Very often, the first day of our acquaintance! Or for a second in the life of a common cup of coffee! < I do not need this for 25 years pre friendship! and do not need everything, everything, what you need to talk, to throw out on one or two single friends! Pity them. Working for someone only vest - tyazhelooo! Anyone get bored. Especially considering the fact that if someone has any problem hurts, he wants to talk about it often and much. So - talk with different all will be easier and no one will escape, because its theme this zadolbali
.. Or here: help. < What is something very simple can help even the neighbor Now, if someone has a house burned down, and right now the whole family to sleep at night there is no place -. The first one to ask for help - it's close friends, yes. But to drag cases to help during the journey, or give advice as some softinu win and set up e-mail - not necessarily need a best friend. Colleague can ask a friend. Yes, actually, and here - at least the entire Internet, anonymously
. In general, I is the fact that the people mentally imagine this "close friend" - as a vent for all occasions And they would like to find a universal outlet -. Found two and having them do everything. And they realized that they - the only ones in the world, quickly escape. Because even for the best of all "hobby" nobody wants to respond immediately with all his life and all of his time.
Shift into a lot of friends and different! Let someone only once every six months goes to the movies with you. If you have 20 of these, you will be walking with someone in a movie often! Do not ship on one person at once the whole burden of responsibility for all your happiness. And if five out of thirty will not be for you a year's time -. Your world will not collapse
Friendship remeasured In the sense that they are trying to cram too many "responsibilities" which are generally not a single person can not make himself
A friendly -. underrated Because the people "looking for a friend," for some reason believe that the man -. it is all one. And if not the closest friend, it means "fi».
And it is not so in life. In the closest friend and gay friendly intercourse sometimes - a lot of colors. And these are the best friends, too, from birth these were not. First there were colleagues, neighbors, friends. And then someone with someone approached and befriended stronger. This is a 5-minute does not work with anyone else.
< A in the preliminary and intermediate stages between zero and the jackpot can find a lot of happiness, wonderful conversations, this warmth, engagement, love, the brightest moments in life. You just need to take that give, with gratitude, enjoy it. And do not complain all the time, that it does not quite fit, because this bargain did not offer right hand, heart, and the keys to his whole life.
via miumau.livejournal.com/2093965.html
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