10 secrets of communicating with people from Dale Carnegie

bestseller "How to Win Friends and Influence People" conquered the world. In this book, Dale Carnegie, now a classic of behavioral psychology, laid the foundation for effective communication. To this day, Carnegie Council does not lose its relevance and usefulness. We decided to tell you about the ten most important technique recommended by the psychologist.

blockquote> 1. Be a good slushatelemMnogie believe that the best way to convince a man of anything - just start aggressively and thoroughly to expound their views and arguments in its favor, but often this behavior only hinders the achievement of mutual understanding. To position companion to her, you first need to be attentive and grateful listener.

2. Sincere interest - the success of

«We are interested in others when they are interested in us».

blockquote> expressed interest in the other person, ask questions, to which he responded with pleasure, listen to his story about himself and the important things for him. After giving him a chance to talk, try to direct the conversation in your direction, but try to stay within the framework of the interests of the interlocutor. As once said the Roman poet Publius Syrus:

3. Do not be carried away by criticizing

«If you want to gather honey, do not drop the hive!»

blockquote> If the opinion of the interlocutor on the subject matter contrary to your opinion, do not rush to criticize it and insist on. Try to be diplomatic, to talk more about what your point of view coincide. Ask a few questions that will have to answer positively the source - it will be easier to reach an agreement in the course of further conversation (the so-called secret of Socrates).

In case you still have to specify the other party to make a mistake, soften the criticism is appropriate and sincere recognition of the merits of the opponent. Do not focus on the weak points of his position, mention them in passing.



4. Do not let differences escalate into an argument

«There is only one way to win an argument - to avoid it»

blockquote> In the event of disagreement do not be tempted to immediately take a defensive position and to take all the source said "hostility", stay calm. Remember: "When two partners always agree with each other, one of them once." Have different views - it's natural. After reviewing the various opinions and you will understand what aspects of the problem were missed you out of sight, allowing you to adjust and supplement their point of view.

Respect other people's opinions and do not rush the source said that he is wrong, and the Be able to admit their mistakes.

5. To induce a person to act, make him want it

«fishing without thinking about their own preferences, I sit down on the hook strawberries and cream, and a worm»

blockquote> Of course, we are not talking about threats or brute force - the interlocutor to awaken the desire to achieve something and let them know that the easiest way to implement it with the appropriate action. A simple example - let's say you notice that your child indulge in cigarettes. Many parents in these cases, start a conversation with phrases like: "Once again I see ..." and so on. Typically, such methods of persuasion, as well as sermons from the category of "I was your age ..." not too effective. Explain to your child that smoking interfere with his studies of his favorite sport, and will certainly affect the results of its hundred-meter race. Most likely, he did not like the prospect of choking during training and to look a laughing stock in front of the whole class.



6. Let the interviewee thinks that the idea belongs to him

«sage, wishing to be above the people below them come down himself, and wanting to be in front of people, places himself behind them»

blockquote> In general, people tend to trust their own ideas more than other people's, so instead of persistently trying to convey his thought in all its fullness, gently mention of it to the interlocutor could develop it himself. In the future, the idea of ​​considering his interlocutor will treat it brought to life with much more enthusiasm than it had from the beginning to the end, you have expressed.

7. Try to look at the problem from the perspective of sobesednikaVam will be easier to influence the interlocutor, if you sincerely try to understand the motives that he may be guided. Ask yourself, "What would you feel, and that would be taken, if there had been in his place?" - Outside view can help you save time and nerves. Man is much more likely to act on the basis of their own interests, rather than submitting to the will of another.

8. Instead of giving orders, ask voprosyPostanovka question - a much more effective way of solving the problem than a direct order. Question encourages creative exploration, to avoid feelings of resentment and self-esteem spare interlocutor, it will be easier to deal with the problem, if he was involved in its development.



9. Give a man to feel the znachimostVy director and you need to cope with slave work "excellent"? Talk to him about the importance of his work for the entire company and explain that he is simply irreplaceable in their positions. Each man is good to hear about how cool and after this conversation, the employee will probably be working on the task harder. Self-esteem and sense of self-worth can serve as a great incentive to work.

10. to present their ideas clearly and naglyadnoChtoby convey their message to the audience or interlocutor, take adopt the methods used in the media. Remember the commercials - much more interesting to look at the fast racing car on the highway, than to listen to a long story about it.

For example, if you have developed a method for increasing the efficiency of the company, instead of the dry presentation of the results of its calculations to the leadership arrange small premeditated idea. An unusual presentation of the material certainly not leave the audience indifferent and draw attention to your idea.

via factroom.ru