Olesya Novikova about self-love, which has a tremendous healing effect for the rest of our lives
I will not give light weight this stuff long introduction on the topic: why do we need such love and how it differs from selfishness, I personally only interested in the practical side of the issue - how? How to love and to love yourself? There is no doubt that it has a huge healing effect for the rest of our lives.
Abstract "must accept yourself the way you are" leaving no less abstract questions: "How to?" And "What has been the adoption of this?", But the most curious of them: "Who is this self that we ought to love?"
Yes, you heard right, this is the primary question: "Who am I?»
A good description of caught me in the book "The suit for the soul", here are a few excerpts:
I can not tell you exactly who you are. I can only answer the question of who you really are not.
You - this is not your body. You - this is not your thoughts. You - not your emotions.
You - it's not what you think of themselves, and certainly not what people think about you around. You - this is not your brain and chemical processes that occur in it.
You - this is not your name, rank or insignia that you represent. You - not a representative of the profession, which you do, but you can play this role.
Within each of us there is a constant separation of at least four parts: our body, our mind, our emotions and our essence (in fact theories of how divided the human psyche, a huge number, but not all are suitable from a practical point of view, For example, I do not take in this case the common division into conscious and subconscious, because it gives less opportunity for introspection and self-analysis). All of these parts are in themselves, and each of them affects our life and our existence.
Development of one part does not depend on the development of the other. None of these pieces, most of us is not the main - sometimes the power grabs each of them and the consequences of such an interim administration can be very unpredictable. For example, the mind can refuse sweet and emotions of an hour to eat can make a huge piece of cake.
Man can be compared with the sled.
The wagon or carriage - it is our body, horses - our emotions, the driver, who sits on the box - our mind. However, the meaning of it all becomes only when in the carriage sits the man who determines the direction in which it go »
The issue is unfolding a new party. So who is the boss? In terms of self-love, this example - the best visual aid. What does your "man in the carriage?" Who is he in relation to his "team" as guides the process and refers to the trip?
Sometimes we become a tyrant "at home" in their personal possession. We talk with a cold, paying attention only to the disadvantages. To try to discover the endless imperfections in the body, forgetting to thank that it us "is" blamed for slow or too sharp "pace" his emotions and the mind, we all become enemy number one, because we have long read esoteric books about who there is the worst enemy of any person. "Of course, the mind!" It is not plugged, myslemeshalka does not stop, then the mind is bad, and the only justice to it - meditation. Condition is crazy. And the fact that we ourselves can not understand yourself, including your mind, we will take into account not want.
Love yourself as hygiene mind
Love for Me - is the adoption and care of your mind. You brush your teeth? Everyday? So why do not you clean the mind from annoying and destructive thoughts? Every day.
"I woke up in the morning - take away his planet," - said the Little Prince in the famous book by Saint-Exupery, and went to pull baobabs that grow over night, as the personification of the fact that weeds (bad thoughts) have grown and will grow, and already our task to keep his the planet clean.
Healing the mind - it is not a denial, no swearing, no moralizing teachings himself, and understanding how it all works. The direction of all processes to a common denominator coveted. That is the unification of mind, actions, words and conditions mentioned by the African shaman. The mind can take useful things, it will "chatter" on the case, processing and translating what you need, but not chaotic rushing from one to another.
We must give the right job to the mind and not try all the time to "switch off" the head of the various practices.
Thoughts are material, respectively, right-minded activity of the mind is our most valuable treasure. But it needs a goal. While understanding there is no movement, the mind and will continue to "go to the left».
Self-love as an opportunity to experience the emotions that you please and fill
Emotions. They should not be suppressed. It's more of an attempt to untie the horses from the coach? In any case it does not, emotions are attached by default. Why all this, if you do not enjoy, do not be surprised, do not have fun? It makes sense to understand them, to feel the emotions that you are interested in your adventure.
You can only experience those emotions that you like, regardless of the circumstances.
Do you like apathy, depression, sadness, sorrow?
Want more? This is called self-love.
Protect yourself - so do not let the destructive feelings that are the source of many diseases, you destroy. Just as bad food and constant overeating leads to the degradation of the body as well, and chronic negative emotions under different masks are addictive, destroy our psyche, are the cause of many ailments of the body.
Just give up on them. Select new. Learn to switch. You can feel good for a reason. You can learn to feel joy and cheerfulness without "sharp" external factors.
Joy small - it does not mean to lower the bar, it means to love yourself, and this state is much easier to go where you set out.
Sketches on the theme:
Imagine. You are a girl. You have made a small mistake - salty soup, overdone chocolate cake in the oven. It's a shame, a shame, but what is essentially garbage. Absolutely no reason to be upset. You are not upset.
And then comes home to your loved one and you are satisfied with hysteria, calling the latest words on the topic of what the mistress of you at all. There is a grain of truth - he scolds you in the case. But tell me, is this normal? Tantrums, insults, accusations of this situation from a loving person even over. Fine? But in real life it happens more often than we might think, unfortunately.
It is not normal. If your family has something like that - do not suffer. But I write this on another occasion, is an illustration of how to answer the most common question:
"How can I restrain emotions when I am angry? It's bad, it's bad, it's unnatural to hold back and not react. You are all positive robots and mutants, and we - the normal people and do not want to suppress his senses ».
So. When you are annoyed every stimulus you do with your body and psyche as well as the silly husband who allows himself hysterically to scold his wife for soup. You do not love yourself and your body, just fill up the inside poison from acute negative, even if that is how you feel a certain occasion.
I repeat - we must not suppress emotions and to switch and choose. Reread from the beginning.
Self-love as friendship with your body
Our body. It is designed to move. D-in-and-r-a-t-b-with-me. Movement - life. The attention to itself - is regular exercise. Also, breathing, food and water. Fresh air, fresh food, good water - you know all this. Now the question is - do you love yourself?
To love yourself, it makes sense to realize that you are not just your body and your mind. Your doubts, fears and hysteria - is not you. You are all together, and the bottom line is that you can watch it detached. It is thus a "man in the carriage", "master of the house," which has the power to reconcile all the ingredients to make friends with them, to set the general mood, learn to distinguish between their states, to understand themselves, care for and love.
A couple of practical things:
1. Praise yourself
Praise often, do not miss any detail. Praise must be greater than swearing. Reread about 51% of your inner state. "Good" - it should be the most common treatment for himself.
Do not blame yourself, just examined "why" who "rebel": the mind, emotions and body and ask them, "what happened?»
2. Engage your body
From this it is easier to start. Body blossom - the emotions and the mind, too fit. Eat right, exercise and drink water consciously - with understanding and care thanks to his temple (or "carriage" is more like it).
3. Watch your thoughts
The negative change in the positive, with advance coined what wording you move. (This has already been written.) Simply switch as a remote control to another program. Without reproach, whining or fears, just another channel. When the time was able to stem the tide of negativity and switch - praise yourself. In the main house there.
The mere warning: understanding the process plays no role. Only actions can start the process. Do. Love - is a verb, not a definition.
You are loved. A.