What is a real man. Features of psychology ... Bashny.Net

This man will never be a tyrant in the family. Humiliate and suppress women notorious weak spirit of those men who could not assert themselves in any professional or social spheres. As well as those who can not forgive a woman, even if it somewhat exceeds it - more educated, intelligent, earns more. The most simple and primitive - a self-affirmation. Unworthy and ashamed to pose as a strong, humiliating someone who is weaker than you. Or even worse - someone who depends on you. Or absolutely disgusting - the one who loves you. A real man is confident, noble, generous and not petty, he is not tormented by doubts about its value, including the family. It makes no sense to raise their self-esteem through the humiliation of others.


The owner of the house - the mission, role, or a dream?
A little look back and remind readers that, speaking about preparation for family life, we have paid attention to her mother in law, daughter in law, the parents of the newlyweds (tesch combining in-law, tests and svёkrov). Then a little distracted by the policy (but who in recent years it has not distracted?), And finally got to the invisible presence in our latest articles "figure of silence" - a man, a husband, a family center of the universe around which all the other members of the family . For his daughter-in-law fight against him intriguing mother-in-law, my wife wants him to improve relations, his attention seeking children. But whether men act as the head of the family? What are the qualities you need to possess in order to become a master in his own house?


At the time of a family man will have to think seriously about what he would like to be in the family "play" - a mere spectator, the actor-puppet, extras, stagehands, "which will send" a cashier, an equal partner or a wise production director, is determined by each member of the family its role and a measure of influence on the course of the play. The latter option, of course, very tempting. But appoint himself head of the family is not possible, the role of "leader" need to win, how to win the love of his lady and how to win the respect of others.
What qualities are necessary to the man so that he could become the head of the family? First of all it is necessary to penetrate the idea that the family is the most important thing in his life, and only later career, business, favorite work, friends and hobbies. After all, if the family is not important to you, how can you be mainly in the family?
The rest covers the quality of the concept of "readiness to assume responsibility for the family." The man who took the responsibility, would not say to his wife: "itself to deal with my mother, I do not interfere babskie case"; starts to rant about the "fruit of the female education," if there are problems with his son; sacrifice without thinking, fishing, football, etc. for family needs; It not leads friends to the house, when the refrigerator is empty; It does not throw exorbitant sum for the family budget on a whim; is not afraid to admit its mistake; It will not assert themselves at the expense of his wife; not offend her jealousy; do not put in the conditions under which it will turn to him for every penny; it will not infringe upon the rights, including in the most important women's rights - to be weak.
The man who took the responsibility and material provides a family and tries to help his wife at home; is involved in the upbringing of children; hard studying tranquil conjugal love, rather than seeking thrills on the side; keeping in sight of all family members and everyone tries to pay attention to. He is able to work and diligence, because he has for someone to live and work; responsible for his words, and adheres to the agreement fulfills the promise. He is confident in himself and his abilities, quietly follows the advice of his wife, if he considers them reasonable. Such a decent man, because for him it is important that children are proud of their father. He develops a strategy of preservation and development of the family. The head of the family - a wise ruler of a small state family who is not afraid to take on the burden of the most important decisions at the same time does not avoid the "black work" in resolving the problems of small household ...
The ideal option? Sure. It is quite normal, if the ideal is unattainable for most. You should not suffer from the fact that we did not correspond. Ideally, you want to know what to strive for, to verify what course of its development, and how to educate our children - both at home and at school. Ideal - a landmark guiding star on the path of self-improvement.
To be a real head of the family, you have to be a real man. But not all put in this concept the same meaning. Not once had to watch as the honorary title of "real man" woman awarded tatty (seemingly!) And even frail men. This happened when they made a courageous act, showed determination and endurance in critical situations, the wonders of professionalism.
Many believe that the concept of "real man" includes inflated muscles; the ability to "give a face"; rude manner; penchant for profanity; careless, slightly arrogant treatment of women; the priority of male friendship; its emphasis on men's abilities; indispensable presence of a "male vices" in the form of smoking, drinking, nightlife, etc. gulyanok This system of values ​​of puberty, when the external male attributes is important for youths identity. During this period, the main efforts are aimed at teenagers to appear men. Courage they sometimes replaced bravado, self-confidence - boasting, and inability to organize themselves and get things covered "philosophy pofigizma».
But all this is too small for a mature personality, the main criteria of which is the development of a strong-willed and emotional spheres. Men need to be rather than to seem them. The will to self-organization and self-discipline, will for everyday small victories over the other, the ability to restrain his instincts and bad inclinations, to take responsibility - that's true masculinity. Develop them in yourself, not all boys. That is why there are men-boys with gray at the temples. The strength of spirit is much more important for a real man, than the strength of the muscles. Courage is shown to not be afraid of responsibility and not to leave her.
This man will never be a tyrant in the family. Humiliate and suppress women notorious weak spirit of those men who could not assert themselves in any professional or social spheres. As well as those who can not forgive a woman, even if it somewhat exceeds it - more educated, intelligent, earns more. The most simple and primitive - a self-affirmation. Unworthy and ashamed to pose as a strong, humiliating someone who is weaker than you. Or even worse - someone who depends on you. Or absolutely disgusting - the one who loves you. A real man is confident, noble, generous and not petty, he is not tormented by doubts about its value, including the family. It makes no sense to raise their self-esteem through the humiliation of others.
But what do men see their role in the family? We conducted a quiz in the near-male environment, and the majority of the respondents answered the same way: "financially secure family." Do not argue. This is very important, but one might association with the old joke: "A man - a male, plus the money." Many men today feel their inferiority of what is not enough (either in their opinion, or the opinion of their wives) provide family. But "not enough" - an undefined term. Similarly, can suffer from an inferiority complex and a teacher, and millionaire businessman. It's not the quantity of money, and in the presence of an alternative value system, which is much more important than wealth. Being an ideologue of the family, a spiritual leader, to be able to stop the woman, and then the children in the race for all the great material benefits - it is also the duty of the head of the family (of course, we are not talking about extreme cases of denial of basic family necessities of life).
When asked what the role of head of the family, revealing the answer was 16-year old boy: "All of the money and to build." Unfortunately, this perspective on youth leadership in the family is quite typical in a male environment. With this approach, a man plays the role of the such tyranny tyrant, and money are seen as a kind of indulgence for the right not to delve into the problems of everyday life, in the life of the family, not to share the experience of anxiety and wife, do not meet the (no, it's not about the bed) in the first place it emotional needs. "What do you want me to do, I bring the money" - it sounds, unfortunately, in many families. But no amount of money can not buy off the family responsibilities, especially since they are not compensated by the callousness, spiritual deafness and moral stagnation.
A good husband is obliged not only to bring money into the house, but also to listen to his wife, to share her worries gave her empathy, sympathy, attention to the smallest of anxiety and pain. This does not mean doing something for her. Rather, what is in a purely female responsibility, then it will make itself. But the involvement of the husband for a woman to important issues it raises self-esteem, her confidence in the support of the importance of her role in the family, gives strength to fight with the routine of everyday life and gray. Men! No matter how often you have the opportunity to pay attention to your wife. This may be just a couple of hours in a week. But if a woman knows that as soon as possible you try to give it now, and not a formal note that your soul will respond to its joys and sorrows, she will wait patiently. Because thirst is transferred much easier, if you know that going to the spring spiritual communion. But she could not bear, if you believe that you are in an emotional desert.
The family, as the meaning of life - not too small Whether for men who ordained play a major role in society? Not at all. A good family man will be a good teacher, because he is not alien to the ideals; responsible politician, because dreams that his children live in a civilized state; a brave warrior, as he has someone to protect. For this family man - a kind of bridgehead airfield for spiritual and social rise to creative activity.
During the revolution constantly sounded: "How many of us real men! Finally we saw our men in all its glory! "And is it was about those who do not is to give someone in the face and knock your teeth? No, most women admire those men, whose faces were spiritualized high ideals; men who were not afraid to take responsibility for themselves; We were ready to fight to the end; men who gathered in his fist will and showed their best qualities. Do not be disappointed if they have? Let's be realistic: to make every day a small feat struggle with himself and with the routine is always heavier than once to rush to recess circumstances. But we women know what would like to see our men and what qualities they admire ...