Unless you are a winner, almost your whole life seems to you a monstrous injustice. The truth is that the life is simply playing by different rules.
According to these rules. And once they are set. B> These rules are, however, somewhat more complicated and much less comfortable than it is able to comprehend most people.
Let us, however, we will try. And at the same time draw parallels with a career in IT.
Rule №1: All life - the struggle, competition
You been in business? - Someone wants to destroy it. Do you like the job? - Someone wants to replace you by a computer program. You aspire to a friend, girlfriend, paid work, the Nobel Prize? - All the others too.
We are competing all the time, even though we do not want to talk about it. Many of the achievements can be assessed only against the background of how it turns out at the other: you better swim, dance better than you have in your Facebook likes more than the average. Wonderful.
This, of course, it is inconvenient to acknowledge, but we constantly compare ourselves with others. We are told: "Just show me what you can do." Or: "Your main rival - is yourself." But the trick these platitudes that they invented in order to still make you put as much effort. If competitiveness did not really matter, we would advise children to just give up fighting.
Fortunately, we do not live in a world where everyone to succeed, it is necessary to cut the throat of another. The advantage of modern civilization - an abundance of opportunities, which is enough to make ends meet without direct competition (more on this - in the article that, как find his calling ).
However, you should never give in to the collective deception, if any struggle is not conducted. People dress up in order to get a partner. People come in for an interview to win the job. If you deny the existence of competition, you just lose. All that is in demand, is the subject of competition. And the best goes to someone who really wants to do it.
Rule №2: you are judged by your deeds and not on your thoughts
The Company estimates the man what he can do for others. Can you save a child from a burning house, to remove the tumor or to make a full house laugh? If so, you have to appreciate for that.
But we appreciate ourselves differently. We commend itself to our thoughts.
"I'm good." "I'm ambitious." "I'm better than her." Such sluggish mantra can soothe the night, but it has almost nothing to do with how we perceive the world. It's even a little similar to the way we perceive other people.
Good intentions - do not count. Pride, love and duty mean little. What exactly can you do and have done for the world?
Abilities are not rewarded simply for what they are. Any praised by the society stems from the selfish attitudes of other people. Diligent janitor rewarded society less than unscrupulous broker. Scientist oncologist receives less than a supermodel. Why? Because it is a rare skill and affect more people.
We would like to think that society appreciates those who work hard. Like this:
But in reality, social recognition - it's just the network effect. Recognition depends largely on how many people in the affected you.
If you wrote the book, and it does not publish - you are a nobody. If you wrote "Harry Potter" - with you all want to know. Save someone's life - and you will become a hero only his town, but if you save mankind from cancer - you will become a legend. Unfortunately, this applies to any talent, even bad taste: undress in front of a single person - and maybe you make him smile; but undress in front of fifty million, and you - Kim Kardashian.
You may think it's disgusting. You may be sick of it. Reality is not up to you no matter. You are judged by what you can do, and the number of people to whom it will affect. If you do not agree, of course, the world will seem terribly unfair.
What's in IT? B> Yes, actually, all the same. Of course, nobody forces us to learn new skills with unprecedented speed, so that by age 25 to become steeper Gates. But ... look at an example of life. I once worked with a team headed by a very smart guy, let's call it Nicanor, among other things, he was 28 years old. One of my colleagues, who was 40 at the time, and which always lacked money Nicanor asked a question about how he came to such a life. He replied, as if reading this article, although a couple of years ago, it has not yet been written. So, starting with the first course of Nicanor, a theoretical physicist, became an apprenticeship at an Internet cafe in the student hostel (well, that: you can play free online - free too, but still fun, plus - the money paid and teach some admin's understanding of the work). Then Nicanor was not enough, and he simultaneously began to receive a second degree, already Programming. But here, he did not calm down - once turned up the opportunity, went for training in France. Yes, there are sparsely paid, and many do not understand why it is there. But Nicanor found in France, part time, so that the money became freer, yet he had grown a bunch of friends. And he returned to his homeland with language skills, international certificates and experience in foreign companies. In the future, always combined the basic work with something else to grow. When I saw Nicanor last time, he was the technical director of the local branch of a very famous American corporation (electronic payment system). The moral of the story is: learn, meet, tell me about yourself, do not be lazy! By the way, the former slave Nicanor still suffers from a lack of money. And yes, still have not learned anything new ...
Rule №3: Our notions of fairness involved in the self-interest
People like to create authority. That's why in sport and in legal matters need judges. We have some innate idea of what is good and what is bad, and we hope that the world is such a representation correspondence. So we were told the parents. This is what we heard from teachers. Will you behave - you will receive candy.
But the reality is not so. You learned how damn, but failed in the exam. You have worked day and night, but you will not promoted to the post. Do you love her, and she you - no.
The problem is not that life is unfair - it you have the wrong conception of justice. B>
Take a look at the person who you like, but who does not like you. This is - a person. A person with many years of experience, it is not the same as you. A real person that interacts with every year hundreds of thousands of other people.
And what are the secret of this, thanks to which that person should automatically choose you as the love of your life? Just because you have? For what you are experiencing some feelings for this man? It may be relevant to you, but this man makes decisions independently of you.
Likewise, we love to hate bosses, parents and politicians. They are judged unfairly. They are stupid. Because they do not agree with me! Because they are stupid! Because the most important authority - I prestige throughout the world!
No doubt, there are very nasty bosses. But not all of them - evil, not all of them are selfish monsters who only think about how to fill their pockets and humiliate you. Most of them just want the best, not only in those circumstances in which you are.
Maybe they know something you do not know you - may be that you will go broke if they do not take some unpopular decisions. Maybe they do not like you, priorities - for example, long-term growth rather than momentary happiness.
And while all this hurts you, the behavior of others has nothing to do with some kind of cosmic justice, by which you are judged. It's just a side effect of the fact of your existence.
What's in IT? B> All in the same office was another friend, let's call it Mitrofan. He was a business analyst. And his work he was doing pretty well. But! He thought about all fools. Testers malfunctioned, logistics in general were strange types (because sitting in front of him and smiling!), Kontentschiki generally failed (because their boss was a girl), and only those who have worked with ERP were simply evil. It is clear that this information has everyone around. And in the face and behind his back. As a result, Nicanor felt that it was better to take a less capable but less fixated on themselves and their views of the analyst instead Metrophanes. Moral: the world does not revolve around one person, and there are different opinions, but your and wrong. By the way, now Mytrofan works by itself. I do not know him, but the team, having lost his bilious commentary, feels much better!
Why is life unfair
Our notions of justice are impractical. This is - just randomly dump fantasies.
Can you imagine how life would be mad if she really was "fair" for everyone and for everyone? No one would at anyone not fall in love for fear that this is not the love of his life and what you can afford to break the heart. All companies would immediately ruined, because all their employees for someone proved wrong. The relationship came to an end only to simultaneous death of a partner. Rain dripped would only villains.
Most of us are so fixated on how the world would have to be designed not to see how it works in reality. But the key to understanding the world may simply be to face him - and, therefore, to all its features.
PS If the theme is "hooked", you can continue from articles by the same author «Вся life - the game. Strategy for Victory »