A couple of jokes

- All my life you broke me!
 - Look at yourself! You like to walk into the kitchen, the birth rate falls from cockroaches!

Under the new year half-drunk bee ruined den sleeping bear, while shouting:
 - Do you like nectar, love and chill! The guy in the store to buy a cell phone. Seller:
 - This model has a ringer volume setting, "no sound," "in a meeting", "room", "in the street».
Man: - A "in the shop of the Chelyabinsk Tractor Plant" is not there?

Putin called the doctor and complains of obstruction. Did not go on the big can. Arrived marched Doctor:
 - Well-ka let you look around ... Oh, yes you, Vladimir Vladimirovich, and the hole is not present! Lick clean.

 - What is a death ray?
 - Ray's death - a look that a woman throws another, equally with her dressed.

You think Lomonosov was born so smart?
This is it, is for the wagon train to Moscow was, heard plenty on the road.