547
Cheerful Doctor
Funny Kiev doctor answers questions of visitors.
Patient: how to treat dyshydrosis
Doctor: We are so shocked by your courtesy that with great pleasure to inform you that it is your purpose to the treatment regimen will cost 200 UAH
Patient: My son is 8 years old. He had an ultrasound of the right testicle, its size 9 * 12 * 19mm. Is this the norm for his age, or is likely hypoplasia? Thanks for the answer.
Doctor: Kindly refer to a pediatric urologist in our clinic do not have such a specialist. And to see a specialist, do not forget to take, in addition to the results of ultrasound, also a boy. And by the way, why did not the left testicle ultrasound? The hands did not reach, no time has been ended or electricity? What is now to compare the right testicle? With the smell of magnolias or complexion President?
Patient: Can I have sex with a girl who 14 years, and I'm 16 years old.
Doctor: If you really want to jail, it is possible.
Patient: I have heard that the hormones for men contribute to domestic and apparently omuzhestvleniyu
Doctor: Well, well.
Patient: Tell us about anal sex
Doctor: Who? Patient: Hello the doctor. I think I have something with eggs. One testicle seems intact, and the second shattered around. Pts. worried about this. It seems to me that the second egg is not active. Thanks in advance!
Doctor: If so many things seem to be time to start to be baptized. A special affection for doctors clinics cause your "Kazan" about the inactivity of one of the testicles.
Patient: I care about my penis 13cm! and because of this I have a set, and I have a bad erektsiey.Chto do I know seems to me that at the blast furnace girl laughing to myself and I did not udoltvoryayu!
Doctor: Why are you worried about the size of your IQ? And she laughs at you, apparently, not because of the size of your penis (which, incidentally, is normal), and over your blatant ignorance. For to talk to you about, and the only thing you are willing to devote themselves without reserve - meryanie its members.
Patient: I have redness on the tip of the penis, I would like to know what it is? And I is not sick? Thanks in advance
Doctor: Did any fungal, microbial, viral infection. Or maybe you just cleaned Buriak and then, without washing his hands, touched himself for the glans penis. Or lipstick remained.
Patient: Just going crazy from the hairy women, ie, when ladies hairy legs, pubic area, underarms. He began to notice that when all this the lady there (now everywhere in vogue all shave) probolemy erection and everything desire disappears. Tell me, is a disease?
Doctor: No, not a disease. Genes awake. Monkey. From this die. And these unshaven - indefinitely. However, one drawback. They also do not wash.
Patient: Tell the doctor what a polyp in the stomach. Brac №kakoy it heals? And what is dangerous?
Doctor: 1.Novoobrazovanie possibly malignant. 2.Obratites a cancer surgeon. 3. Death.
Patient: I burst out on a limb skin then head to somomu chlenu.Eto opastno ???
Doctor: quill opastno.
Patient: We had sex with my mol.chel. without condom. Before that, the two passed all the tests - all ok both. Today, he says that he has some sensation in the prostate, but not unpleasant. Jacobs is getting used to each other microflora. Personally, I have no feelings there. Can there be feeling, he says, and what is the reason?
Doctor: Did your partner just to talk any more about it. Give him some book with pictures or let you help around the house that would distract from the myth.
Patient: What will happen if a lot every day ie masturbate
Doctor: Strong hands.
Patient: How "looks" treatment of premature ejaculation and what is the cost of this procedure? Thank you.
Doctor: Looks good, prices from 1000 to 2000 UAH.
Patient: Is it harmful to my teeth for the fact that it is adhered to the Skies (blestyashki as brulyantika)
Doctor: For the tooth is not harmful, but may be a member of the scratch.
Patient: tell a doctor treats Bouzoum?
Doctor: buzumiolog
Patient: Is it harmful to masturbate penis?
Doctor: Member - No, but the head doctors harmful
Patient: Can I make myself a prostate massage and how?
Doctor: It is possible. Izgibates stronger so that your index finger went into the anus to a depth of 9 cm, and the palmar surface of the nail phalanx was in the projection of the prostate gland. And massaging until complete satisfaction.
Patient: Is it possible to increase the member without surgery and preporatov
Doctor: Feed him, read books, go for a walk, cinema, exhibitions. Vymahal hero to the delight of you and the military commissar.
Patient: Hello, please tell me whether useful sokrazhenie muscles of the prostate? It is when you do it on purpose.
Doctor: Of course, but how do you do it? Share.
Patient: I dream to plunge his penis when he gets up in a solution of nitric acid! What will you think? They say the big buzz as opiate ...
Doctor: You are my brains, apparently, there is already loaded.
Patient: I begin odlasti severe pain in anus when I Kaka., And continued for about ten minutes after that, several times had blood
Help how and what is possible to stop pain.
I am 21 years old. Thank
Doctor: dipyrone. And dokupirovatsya to such a state that arrive with the wind, flashing lights and a siren (as president) in emergency surgery department at the ambulance. We understand that medical treatment on durnyak all masters, but these complaints cheaper to pay for examination and treatment, than at age 21 to become disabled.
Patient: The doctor prompt please, I have a dimple on the priest, I 18. Is this normal? You can get rid ???
Doctor: And for what?
Patient: I have a friend had been ill with scabies, navernika infected me !!! Give the full course of treatment, so as not to go to the doctor !!!
Doctor: Right now !!!
Patient: ananizmom doing 11 years ... I threaten ROBLEM? somehow it turned out 12 times a day ...
Doctor: And the hands are not burned? All the same you need to take breaks. There is a book with pictures or to see my mother to help wash the dishes. Intelligence begins to suffer now and write errors. And then what? First, the hair on the palms grow, and then completely blind. If onanirovanie takes obsessive form - go to the masturbation, and then on masturbation, but when it is already to bore - enjoy a "child of sin." And then it will be assumed that you are going through a normal phase of development of human sexuality.
Patient: Hello Sorry you can find me there A red spot between the legs somewhere around the lower leg! near the testicles! they do not hurt but sometimes itching what is it? Thanks in advance!
Doctor: If you testicles are at a level lower leg, the diagnosis goes something like this: "elephantiasis of the scrotum with the testicles ptosis." A red spots in this case - commonplace abrasions.
Patient: Can you please tell how long after her husband fluoroscopy can think of conceiving a child. Thank you.
Doctor: Yes, that's once zastegnet shirt and out of the office out, so we can immediately think. And when he reached home, not only to think but also to do.
Patient: I have a little egg, fine finish, have a varicocele.
Doctor: We did not realize that you - boast?
Patient: can be treated without antibiotics by hlomidy
Doctor: Lёhko. But without Ponte.
Patient: Doctor is why you do not have ankologa :? Cada and he will come?
Doctor: 1. patamu sho. 2. Nicado.
Patient: Causes painful swelling at the man one breast?
Doctor: gynecomastia. Malignant tumor. Trying to get the milk. Injury. Burn. Hex.
Patient: What is harmful ananizm?
Doctor: possible injury.
Patient: ische vapros and what injury can be ???
Doctor: Fractures hands.
Patient: Can we assume that if the guy did not get up at me, then he's gay?
Doctor: Assume everything is possible, anything. But it is this assumption likely to prove false.
Patient: My friend Eugene, often sitting and reading your questions and answers, is it ok? while he, as indecent giggles
Doctor: We are well aware of his. Advise your friend Eugenia go to the forum at 9 o'clock in the morning Moscow time, while we have not yet managed to erase all the nonsense and streams of consciousness, to throw out to the forum. But the greatest pleasure he would get by going to the forum at this time on Monday morning, when the accumulated problems from Friday evening, for almost three days. So it is perfectly normal reaction. And our response - first giggle, but already in the habit of only the most outstanding questions, and then the mother when remove debris.
Patient: Physicians ought not to swear!
Doctor: Allow us to decide such questions. Medical ethics and deontology does not allow swearing in the presence of patients, colleagues and junior medical staff. In all other cases there are no indications. So we would like to say that your sentence is, of course, is flawless, but it can leave you for your deep internal use.
Hence
-
Patient: how to treat dyshydrosis
Doctor: We are so shocked by your courtesy that with great pleasure to inform you that it is your purpose to the treatment regimen will cost 200 UAH
Patient: My son is 8 years old. He had an ultrasound of the right testicle, its size 9 * 12 * 19mm. Is this the norm for his age, or is likely hypoplasia? Thanks for the answer.
Doctor: Kindly refer to a pediatric urologist in our clinic do not have such a specialist. And to see a specialist, do not forget to take, in addition to the results of ultrasound, also a boy. And by the way, why did not the left testicle ultrasound? The hands did not reach, no time has been ended or electricity? What is now to compare the right testicle? With the smell of magnolias or complexion President?
Patient: Can I have sex with a girl who 14 years, and I'm 16 years old.
Doctor: If you really want to jail, it is possible.
Patient: I have heard that the hormones for men contribute to domestic and apparently omuzhestvleniyu
Doctor: Well, well.
Patient: Tell us about anal sex
Doctor: Who? Patient: Hello the doctor. I think I have something with eggs. One testicle seems intact, and the second shattered around. Pts. worried about this. It seems to me that the second egg is not active. Thanks in advance!
Doctor: If so many things seem to be time to start to be baptized. A special affection for doctors clinics cause your "Kazan" about the inactivity of one of the testicles.
Patient: I care about my penis 13cm! and because of this I have a set, and I have a bad erektsiey.Chto do I know seems to me that at the blast furnace girl laughing to myself and I did not udoltvoryayu!
Doctor: Why are you worried about the size of your IQ? And she laughs at you, apparently, not because of the size of your penis (which, incidentally, is normal), and over your blatant ignorance. For to talk to you about, and the only thing you are willing to devote themselves without reserve - meryanie its members.
Patient: I have redness on the tip of the penis, I would like to know what it is? And I is not sick? Thanks in advance
Doctor: Did any fungal, microbial, viral infection. Or maybe you just cleaned Buriak and then, without washing his hands, touched himself for the glans penis. Or lipstick remained.
Patient: Just going crazy from the hairy women, ie, when ladies hairy legs, pubic area, underarms. He began to notice that when all this the lady there (now everywhere in vogue all shave) probolemy erection and everything desire disappears. Tell me, is a disease?
Doctor: No, not a disease. Genes awake. Monkey. From this die. And these unshaven - indefinitely. However, one drawback. They also do not wash.
Patient: Tell the doctor what a polyp in the stomach. Brac №kakoy it heals? And what is dangerous?
Doctor: 1.Novoobrazovanie possibly malignant. 2.Obratites a cancer surgeon. 3. Death.
Patient: I burst out on a limb skin then head to somomu chlenu.Eto opastno ???
Doctor: quill opastno.
Patient: We had sex with my mol.chel. without condom. Before that, the two passed all the tests - all ok both. Today, he says that he has some sensation in the prostate, but not unpleasant. Jacobs is getting used to each other microflora. Personally, I have no feelings there. Can there be feeling, he says, and what is the reason?
Doctor: Did your partner just to talk any more about it. Give him some book with pictures or let you help around the house that would distract from the myth.
Patient: What will happen if a lot every day ie masturbate
Doctor: Strong hands.
Patient: How "looks" treatment of premature ejaculation and what is the cost of this procedure? Thank you.
Doctor: Looks good, prices from 1000 to 2000 UAH.
Patient: Is it harmful to my teeth for the fact that it is adhered to the Skies (blestyashki as brulyantika)
Doctor: For the tooth is not harmful, but may be a member of the scratch.
Patient: tell a doctor treats Bouzoum?
Doctor: buzumiolog
Patient: Is it harmful to masturbate penis?
Doctor: Member - No, but the head doctors harmful
Patient: Can I make myself a prostate massage and how?
Doctor: It is possible. Izgibates stronger so that your index finger went into the anus to a depth of 9 cm, and the palmar surface of the nail phalanx was in the projection of the prostate gland. And massaging until complete satisfaction.
Patient: Is it possible to increase the member without surgery and preporatov
Doctor: Feed him, read books, go for a walk, cinema, exhibitions. Vymahal hero to the delight of you and the military commissar.
Patient: Hello, please tell me whether useful sokrazhenie muscles of the prostate? It is when you do it on purpose.
Doctor: Of course, but how do you do it? Share.
Patient: I dream to plunge his penis when he gets up in a solution of nitric acid! What will you think? They say the big buzz as opiate ...
Doctor: You are my brains, apparently, there is already loaded.
Patient: I begin odlasti severe pain in anus when I Kaka., And continued for about ten minutes after that, several times had blood
Help how and what is possible to stop pain.
I am 21 years old. Thank
Doctor: dipyrone. And dokupirovatsya to such a state that arrive with the wind, flashing lights and a siren (as president) in emergency surgery department at the ambulance. We understand that medical treatment on durnyak all masters, but these complaints cheaper to pay for examination and treatment, than at age 21 to become disabled.
Patient: The doctor prompt please, I have a dimple on the priest, I 18. Is this normal? You can get rid ???
Doctor: And for what?
Patient: I have a friend had been ill with scabies, navernika infected me !!! Give the full course of treatment, so as not to go to the doctor !!!
Doctor: Right now !!!
Patient: ananizmom doing 11 years ... I threaten ROBLEM? somehow it turned out 12 times a day ...
Doctor: And the hands are not burned? All the same you need to take breaks. There is a book with pictures or to see my mother to help wash the dishes. Intelligence begins to suffer now and write errors. And then what? First, the hair on the palms grow, and then completely blind. If onanirovanie takes obsessive form - go to the masturbation, and then on masturbation, but when it is already to bore - enjoy a "child of sin." And then it will be assumed that you are going through a normal phase of development of human sexuality.
Patient: Hello Sorry you can find me there A red spot between the legs somewhere around the lower leg! near the testicles! they do not hurt but sometimes itching what is it? Thanks in advance!
Doctor: If you testicles are at a level lower leg, the diagnosis goes something like this: "elephantiasis of the scrotum with the testicles ptosis." A red spots in this case - commonplace abrasions.
Patient: Can you please tell how long after her husband fluoroscopy can think of conceiving a child. Thank you.
Doctor: Yes, that's once zastegnet shirt and out of the office out, so we can immediately think. And when he reached home, not only to think but also to do.
Patient: I have a little egg, fine finish, have a varicocele.
Doctor: We did not realize that you - boast?
Patient: can be treated without antibiotics by hlomidy
Doctor: Lёhko. But without Ponte.
Patient: Doctor is why you do not have ankologa :? Cada and he will come?
Doctor: 1. patamu sho. 2. Nicado.
Patient: Causes painful swelling at the man one breast?
Doctor: gynecomastia. Malignant tumor. Trying to get the milk. Injury. Burn. Hex.
Patient: What is harmful ananizm?
Doctor: possible injury.
Patient: ische vapros and what injury can be ???
Doctor: Fractures hands.
Patient: Can we assume that if the guy did not get up at me, then he's gay?
Doctor: Assume everything is possible, anything. But it is this assumption likely to prove false.
Patient: My friend Eugene, often sitting and reading your questions and answers, is it ok? while he, as indecent giggles
Doctor: We are well aware of his. Advise your friend Eugenia go to the forum at 9 o'clock in the morning Moscow time, while we have not yet managed to erase all the nonsense and streams of consciousness, to throw out to the forum. But the greatest pleasure he would get by going to the forum at this time on Monday morning, when the accumulated problems from Friday evening, for almost three days. So it is perfectly normal reaction. And our response - first giggle, but already in the habit of only the most outstanding questions, and then the mother when remove debris.
Patient: Physicians ought not to swear!
Doctor: Allow us to decide such questions. Medical ethics and deontology does not allow swearing in the presence of patients, colleagues and junior medical staff. In all other cases there are no indications. So we would like to say that your sentence is, of course, is flawless, but it can leave you for your deep internal use.
Hence
-
