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Annex to the marriage contract by Kurt Vonnegut
Short-term marriage contract, which is an American writer Kurt Vonnegut concluded with his wife Jane during her pregnancy
I, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., in person, hereby swear that I will be faithful to the commitments listed below: With the consent of my wife not to grumble at me, do not scream and do not disturb the other way on this issue, I undertake to wash the floors in the bathroom and in the kitchen once a week, at a convenient date and time to me. Not only that, I'm going to do it well and carefully, that means, in its view, zalezanie a bath for the toilet, a sink, a freezer, and all the angles; and that I will also pick up and move to another place any moving object that will meet me at the above mentioned surfaces, and thereby clean the floor beneath them, not just around. Moreover, taking this effort, I will refrain from uttering phrases such as "shit," "damn" and other expletives as similar language on your nerves in a situation where the reason for its use is only a meeting with the inevitable. If I can not act in accordance with these agreements, my wife will get complete freedom to grumble at me, scream and disturb other way as long as I did not wash my floors in any case - regardless of how busy I am.
I swear and I'll provide the following non-essential convenience:
1. I'm going to hang up your clothes and put your shoes in the closet at a time when you do not use them.
2. I will not unreasonably worn dirt into the house by nevytiraniya feet on the mat at the front door or by wearing slippers when making garbage on the street, as well as other means.
3. I will throw out things like empty boxes of matches, cigarette packs, cartons, which are inserted into the collars of shirts and so on. in the trash, instead of leaving them lying on chairs and on the floor.
4. After shaving, I'll put my shaving kit back in the locker.
5. If I become the culprit appearance of a ring around the tub drain, I - with the help of "Cleaner Swift" and brushes, instead of using their own washcloths - otmoyu it.
6. Provided that my wife collects the dirty laundry, put in a bag and puts the bag per se to prominence in the hallway, I refer above the laundry in the laundry room not later than three days after it appeared in the hallway; I will in the future take clean clothes from the laundry and bring back within two weeks after he took dirty.
7. During smoking, I'll make every possible effort in order not to put the ashtray on the surface that bends bends, bends, folds, or is amenable to the slightest excitement; under such surfaces can be understood as a pile of books, pre-folded on the edge of a chair or on the arm of the chair, and my knees.
8. I will not put a cigarette - or to shake off the ashes into - red leather wastepaper basket or basket for brands that my loving wife make me for Christmas 1945, because this practice significantly reduces the aesthetic quality and, ultimately, the practical value of said items .
9. If my wife would require me to something that can only be regarded as a reasonable requirement, which lies within the boundaries of ordinary working men understood (certainly when the wife is pregnant), I will do it within three days after it has been brought against me. The Parties understand that my wife will not say anything pertaining to the subject, except, of course, "thank you" for three days. However, if I do not fulfill this requirement for a substantial period of time, my wife would quite rightly grumble at me, scream and disturb other way as long as I am not forced to do the same will be granted.
10. An exception to the above rule is three days of taking out the trash, which, as any fool knows, can not wait so long. I'll take out the garbage for three hours after my wife tells me this is necessary. It will be nice, however, if his own eyes to discover that it's time to take out the garbage, I'll do that particular job on its own initiative, and thus will not be forcing my wife to raise the issue, discussion of which it is a little tasteless.
11. The Parties understand that if I can find its obligations unreasonable or too limiting my freedom, I will attempt to change them with a reasonable counter-proposals to be presented in the constitutional order and discuss the bounds of decency, - instead of iniquity cease to perform its obligations just an explosion of battle, or something like that and then stubbornly ignore them.
12. Terms and conditions of the contract are considered to be mandatory until such time after the birth of our child, when (by the doctor), my wife will regain its ability to fully and be able to show more zeal than it is currently recommended.
April 25, 1946
I, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., in person, hereby swear that I will be faithful to the commitments listed below: With the consent of my wife not to grumble at me, do not scream and do not disturb the other way on this issue, I undertake to wash the floors in the bathroom and in the kitchen once a week, at a convenient date and time to me. Not only that, I'm going to do it well and carefully, that means, in its view, zalezanie a bath for the toilet, a sink, a freezer, and all the angles; and that I will also pick up and move to another place any moving object that will meet me at the above mentioned surfaces, and thereby clean the floor beneath them, not just around. Moreover, taking this effort, I will refrain from uttering phrases such as "shit," "damn" and other expletives as similar language on your nerves in a situation where the reason for its use is only a meeting with the inevitable. If I can not act in accordance with these agreements, my wife will get complete freedom to grumble at me, scream and disturb other way as long as I did not wash my floors in any case - regardless of how busy I am.
I swear and I'll provide the following non-essential convenience:
1. I'm going to hang up your clothes and put your shoes in the closet at a time when you do not use them.
2. I will not unreasonably worn dirt into the house by nevytiraniya feet on the mat at the front door or by wearing slippers when making garbage on the street, as well as other means.
3. I will throw out things like empty boxes of matches, cigarette packs, cartons, which are inserted into the collars of shirts and so on. in the trash, instead of leaving them lying on chairs and on the floor.
4. After shaving, I'll put my shaving kit back in the locker.
5. If I become the culprit appearance of a ring around the tub drain, I - with the help of "Cleaner Swift" and brushes, instead of using their own washcloths - otmoyu it.
6. Provided that my wife collects the dirty laundry, put in a bag and puts the bag per se to prominence in the hallway, I refer above the laundry in the laundry room not later than three days after it appeared in the hallway; I will in the future take clean clothes from the laundry and bring back within two weeks after he took dirty.
7. During smoking, I'll make every possible effort in order not to put the ashtray on the surface that bends bends, bends, folds, or is amenable to the slightest excitement; under such surfaces can be understood as a pile of books, pre-folded on the edge of a chair or on the arm of the chair, and my knees.
8. I will not put a cigarette - or to shake off the ashes into - red leather wastepaper basket or basket for brands that my loving wife make me for Christmas 1945, because this practice significantly reduces the aesthetic quality and, ultimately, the practical value of said items .
9. If my wife would require me to something that can only be regarded as a reasonable requirement, which lies within the boundaries of ordinary working men understood (certainly when the wife is pregnant), I will do it within three days after it has been brought against me. The Parties understand that my wife will not say anything pertaining to the subject, except, of course, "thank you" for three days. However, if I do not fulfill this requirement for a substantial period of time, my wife would quite rightly grumble at me, scream and disturb other way as long as I am not forced to do the same will be granted.
10. An exception to the above rule is three days of taking out the trash, which, as any fool knows, can not wait so long. I'll take out the garbage for three hours after my wife tells me this is necessary. It will be nice, however, if his own eyes to discover that it's time to take out the garbage, I'll do that particular job on its own initiative, and thus will not be forcing my wife to raise the issue, discussion of which it is a little tasteless.
11. The Parties understand that if I can find its obligations unreasonable or too limiting my freedom, I will attempt to change them with a reasonable counter-proposals to be presented in the constitutional order and discuss the bounds of decency, - instead of iniquity cease to perform its obligations just an explosion of battle, or something like that and then stubbornly ignore them.
12. Terms and conditions of the contract are considered to be mandatory until such time after the birth of our child, when (by the doctor), my wife will regain its ability to fully and be able to show more zeal than it is currently recommended.
April 25, 1946
