The officer came home from the office. Dinner, lay down on the couch and says to his wife:
- Bring me the newspaper.
- A magic word?
- Run !!!
Night. Silence. Cemetery. At the far end of the cemetery is a lodge where the caretaker lives. On the door of the lodge inscription - "Living Area».
By popular demand in the Russian localization of the new version will Rhotoshor button - "Make bitching» ...
- Serge! Where are you? We poured vodka.
- Run! Run!
- Do not run, I'm telling you - spilled rather than poured.
- Maybe futbolchik play?
- We do not know how to play football.
- If you have played football only people who know how to play it, there would be no Russian national football team ...
The boy goes on a dinner for dating women. His parents are instructed:
- You have to ask her three questions: The first question - Gourmet, the second - about the family, and the third - philosophical. At dinner the young man begins to talk:
- Do you like pasta?
- And your brother loves pasta?
- I do not have a brother.
- And if you had a brother, he would have loved the pasta? ..
I walk a guy with a girl. Past sweeps a man on a horse:
- H-n-well, let's stray!
She turns to the guy:
- I asked you, do not tell anyone ...
(based on the famous advertising once)
He and she in the restaurant. Two waiter service table. She:
- Tell me, do you have "Mokkona"?
First the waiter:
- Mokkona? Of course, we have "Mokkona" ... That is to say, was "Mokkona," but, unfortunately, ended.
- Ahh ... "Mokkona" I've got a house ...
He and she are going and going. The second waiter:
- Listen, Che is "Mokkona"?
The first waiter (looking after):
- I do not know, but it is the fifth woman, whom he takes to his home ...
There is a game "What? Where? When? ", The team plays Alexei Blinov ...
Spins the dreidel, and the issue went to Alexander friends.
Dealer: - Mr. friends, imagine that you were in the sweltering Sahara desert, and your colleague in Blinov member spotted a snake bite. What will you do?
It takes a minute discussion, friends, gives the answer: - In this situation it is necessary to remove the poison from the wound.
Dealer: - This is an incomplete answer, please verify ...
Friends hesitating: - Well, you suck the venom out of the wound.
Dealer: - Mr. friends, give me a complete and correct answer !!!
Friends, blushing: - In this situation it is necessary to suck the venom out of the penis Mr. Blinov.
Dealer: - Your answer is clear ... And now hear the correct answer:
Firstly, spotted snake bites never above the knee, and if Mr. Blinov member below the knee, then he will be able to suck it!