Grievances. Where feet grow Bashny.Net

We all often get offended. Sometimes I do not remember the specific reason. Just, "biting at the bit," are going to take revenge, or quietly go into the shadows, surviving the incident alone and gradually themselves "eating." Why is this happening?

Generally, resentment - is a universal psychological defense mechanism, with its help we deal with unpleasant emotions, heartache. Having experienced such a state, we unconsciously try to continue no longer fall into such a situation. But this is not always possible. I wonder why, where one just wag his hand and try to look at the situation with humor, the other will never forget about what happened?

All the roots in childhood - a favorite saying of psychologists, which, like, anything not specifically explain, but explains everything at once. If you notice that your resentment enough of the same type, maybe it makes sense to thoroughly delve into his childhood and remember who you might offend him so that, in his adulthood, even the slightest hint of such a situation you experience too badly. Or maybe you are so conservative world view that any "dissent" in this issue is a burning resentment in you? You just can not imagine what could be an opinion different from yours. Agree with it, accept it - for you it's like a betrayal of the part of the self. And you think about the fact that stereotypes ("Relatives should support each other," "The daughter should always consult with the mother") are preventing you to live, because you are at the mercy of internal dictatorship. First of all, take the idea that the model of life simply must be modified, otherwise you will be "on the other side," when the river is all pereplyli.

Normal question: what to do in such situations, how to deal with offenses? If you have already set its own, then the ice was broken. The first - of course, need to sort out their feelings. To understand what lies behind your resentment: the humiliation, frustration, rejection. Once the motive is clear as soon as a vulnerability is detected, you can begin to "cure" - be aware of the existence of such a place and help get rid of the soul in pain.

Second - we must learn to forgive. But it can be done only to understand the motives of your opponent. Often, causing you to hurt or showing open aggression, the source thus asserting itself at your expense, and it can not even be aware of. Well, you're finding the true cause of his offensive act, you can already see him as a victim - a victim of his own complexes, which is trying to resolve their own conflict. Try verified, it is a very "releases» .

Third - get rid of too high expectations and learn responsibility. People are not perfect, you are too much of them waiting. That someone did not keep his promise, that someone does not come to the meeting, that someone forgot to call, and you're drinking Corvalol and weep into my pillow. You can not do it this way. Or maybe it's you yourself have expressed their clear thought you misunderstood misunderstanding happened? In general, avoid omissions and not necessarily apply to another's easy, because you have yourself one (or one), and all the rest, oh, how much. That's the exact idea: "you must love himself, the thirteenth, myself!» ©