Jeremy Clarkson on the Russian Bashny.Net

And why be bad too polite.

Cult British TV presenter, unchallenged leader of automotive show Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson visited in March in Russia. The whole week. And then went and wrote a very honest article about us, transmits topgearclub.ru.

"As they say Russian, polite Englishman everywhere late.
Time. It is so valued in our time, that we are happy to spend all their money, making everything faster, if only we had the time to do even more things.
Ten or more years ago, if you suddenly really wanted to watch the video with falling cat, you would have left a minute to download movies from the Internet. Spend this moment could not afford any of us. So we came up with watching video online chat. Fortunately, a group of mobile phone manufacturers around the world paid the British government 22 billion. Pounds for something called 3G. Now people have to wait for a falling cat video only five seconds, and for a while we were all happy.
The same thing we see in the elevators. We need a button, closing the door when we are ready to go. And behind the wheel - we are indignant in traffic and we send a curse when someone goes slowly down the sidewalk.

And it's strange, because we, the British, still willing to spend hours each day on the antics and empty chatter with people who do not know. Our obsession with good manners means that we feel a duty to discuss the weather with the postman and leave with a hairdresser. We are writing to laugh long thank-you letters to people who have already thanked verbally. In business correspondence, we use phrases that do not really need - just have the need to be polite. And if we want instructions, I always start like this: "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I seem intrusive, but ... »

Stop all this because recently spent a week in Russia - a country where, it seems, did not invent manners. When an administrator at the reception of the hotel asking your passport, it says "Could you show your passport for a moment, sir, if you are not severely hamper?". She says: "Passport". And if you can not find it in three seconds, then adds: "Rather!».

If you ordered a dish that is currently not on the menu, there will be no long awkward explanation from the waiter. He simply says: "This is no." And if you try to drag your luggage through a revolving door, no one will wait patiently until you solve the problem. Will constantly push the door until the bag you will not beat all, and all the fingers will not be repulsed.

When the British Top Gear fan, wants to take a picture with me, he spent hours explaining how his son watches the show on the channel «Dave», and how he can parody me and everyone in the house "pray" for our transfer. In Russia, just say, "Photo". And if they do not have a camera with you, you say stand and wait until they go home and not take it.

Ever stood behind the two Britons in line for a ski lift?
- After you.
- No, you were the first.
- Nay, I'm sure you were the first.
- Oh, it's okay. I do not mind waiting. What a beautiful day.
- Much warmer than last year.

Stand in line in Russia is much easier - because no one cares. Just go to the top of the queue, and if someone objects - and exactly what happened - pulls wallet and show your credit card was indignant. In Russian it means "I am richer than you, the sun, so shut up».

Same story with the so-called polite discussions. Russian do not support the counter-arguments subtle hint, and just say, "You're wrong." That's what I was talking:
- World is ruled by Jews.
- I understand what you're saying, but I think that's not the reason.
- You are wrong.
- But there are many examples ...
- I said, you're wrong.

For the British it all quite wildly. But some time later, I began to realize that incivility saves a lot of time and nothing you do not need. When someone is spending your evenings on every empty-headed nonsense, just say that they are wrong and walk away. In a butcher shop does not bother a small conversation. Just say "two patties" and wait until you are told the price. When someone drags on the sidewalk, push it out of the way. The bar does not try to catch the eye of the bartender. Just shout out your order from the end of the queue.
This certainly works in "Aeroflot". The plane begins to rise, although not all were seated, and when landing you do not rub the nonsense about the weather, and the pilot does not want to further successful trip. You are told to sit up straight and remain in place until the plane stops. But no one listened.

Already at home, at the airport "Heathrow", I came across a pretty sociable immigration officer. "For a long time went?" - He asked politely. I saved two seconds, not bothering to answer.
Terrible itself felt. Guilty to terror. But precisely this is the curse to be British. That is why we need the 4G and button closing elevator doors, and more high-speed trains. Because they save us more time so we can write long letters of thanks and a little chat with the milkman.