Popular excuses men who work

Every man knows that the woman loves the ears, but also with our ears, it may fall out of love.

The main thing is not what a man committed the crime, as well as the otmazatsya that could tell a story believable.

Call it male memo.


1. Return of the Prodigal

Back at home, three in the morning, you tried to quietly settle down into her bed, forgetting to take off our shoes and put out the cigarette. Behind the scenes - failed. After hearing the heartbreaking story about how she was going through and was ready to have to start calling all the hospitals and morgues (probably your most favorite hot spots), you will not find anything better than the lie that had stayed on the job.

What to say next time?

A. What we now have a curfew?

B. Thank you trust me, when I meet with friends.

Q. Since you're still awake, perhaps, is quickly realized that something on the table?

Correct answer: B

The most important word in this phrase are in the beginning. If you had just told the girl that was with friends, then this would have only added fuel to the fire. While she waited, she had to worry not only for you but for himself (because you could spend that time and his ex). Fortunately, you saved yourself from having to make excuses and confused in the testimony that started talking about your relationship. And they gave them in favorable light, calling trust. This approach will be evaluated (women love to talk on the subject of mutual trust), and you will be able to put down the girl and her vigilance.

2. Mamat crime

In the midst of a family celebration you make a mockery of her mother. For example, I could not resist and gave an impromptu toast born: "I want to drink to Tamara, because with this fan, she reminds me Kalyagin in" Hello, I your aunt! ". And then the evening returned to this subject, vysprashivaya her mother whether it was true in Brazil, a lot of wild monkeys. And in response to accusations the girl replied: "Come on, Donna Rosa, I'm joking».

What to say next time?

A. Now I understood, in whom you are such a bitch!

B. What I had to shave her mustache?

B. If you think mom really offended, I'll call her in the morning and apologized.

Correct answer: The

So you give to understand that feelings of her family (this strange freak show, all the members of which are endowed with fine mental organization) do not care about. Prior to the call the deal will likely not reach. But if you respond differently, it is sure to call your mother and tell about your callousness. Never openly demonstrate its dismissive attitude toward her mother, even if she sometimes imagine it allows. It was her mother - she was with her that he wants something and does.

3. Memory

You again not picked her up at work, to then together somewhere for dinner, as you agreed. And she, "like an idiot", twice to remind you about your plans for the joint call (whenever you're wondering whether you succeed, go with diamonds, shove in the minuscule seven bribes). Dry explanation: "Sorry, I forgot to call" - not a ride.

What to say next time?

A. Yes, no, I remember everything perfectly. Just once it did not work ...

B. I drank too much, to get behind the wheel. You do not want me to have right away?

Q. I'm sorry, I'm rolled up and became very diffused. Maybe you can help me?

Correct answer: The

Women like it when we admit our mistakes. And so they have to walk the whole life with the stigma of "the weaker sex." Shows the time that you, too, is far from perfect. After all, do you not consider themselves in fact the crown of creation? (Or you think? You mean, you're congratulating us in the New Year on TV before the chimes?) Also, your sincere request for help to awaken in her maternal feelings, she, for lack of an alternative, turn on you.

4. The ratio of non-normative

"That is because ### !!! &&& !!! What *** !!! left %%% !!! bad luck №№№ !!! », - involuntarily you, when you, missing, car cigarette lighter cauterized his cheek. This in no way motivated verbal reaction gives every woman the right to insult and to express their displeasure. However, instead of the expected apology, you just muttered, "Oh, what we are gentle!»

What to say next time?

A. Do not you have PMS?

B. Do not worry, so if I wanted to hurt you, you immediately understand it, fatso!

Q. Explain why you did not like it, and I'll try not to do.

Correct answer: The

So gentlemanly answer you kill two birds. First hare: you show a willingness to change for the sake of it, but not vice versa. The girl did not want to feel the boot, which, although too tight at first, but sooner or later all the same spreads and pritretsya on your leg. Second Bunny: you propose to her to have a heart! Such requests are not spoiled girl. It may surprise she is numb, and the car finally comes the long-awaited silence.

5. Fast fornication

At this time you all ended too quickly she barely had time to undress ... Maybe it's selfish, but because you had a bad day (or what reason you usually refer in such cases?). Well, okay. You kiss her on the cheek and, muttering under his breath: "I'm sorry," you go, to find the TV remote. Where is he, the girl can not even ask. Now she was offended at you and said nothing. And not so much because of your sprint race, but because you are doing as if nothing unusual had happened.

What to say next time?

A. Lord, you are so good! I just could not do with myself! I feel like a 16-year-old boy.

B. I do not want to miss the start of the match. I wonder who Gazzaev fielded?

Q. I hope you can handle it on herself.

Correct answer: A

The best word in this situation is not found. Since you failed to satisfy her physically, you simply must give her pleasure even if your compliment. Not one. Who knows, maybe if you will quite sincere, she even simulates an orgasm.

6. Gadovschina

You forgot to congratulate her on the anniversary of your acquaintance. Yes, I had the imprudence to say that she had herself to remind you about this date if expected to receive a gift. From her point of view, you can not be forgiven. With some of our, say, there is, but there is no way you can help.

What to say next time?

A. Why? That day I remember: I was not lucky in the morning.

B. Get dressed! We go to the jewelry store, where you yourself will choose yourself a gift.

Q. I wonder how you were able to remember the date? You've been a drunk.

Correct answer: B

Now, when you pulled the rug from under the feet of a girl coming harvested to your question you will not hear. Yet still I'm sorry I made her jittery. And then honestly try to atone for a trip to the jeweler. And if you will call on the road somewhere, where you can buy new shoes ... Well, perhaps, you are forgiven. Oh yes! And would a handbag to match your shoes!

7.Pereryv to vow

On Wednesday evening (for the third time this week) she caught you for ... (fill in as appropriate). And all would do, but just on Sunday for some reason, you promised her to give up ............, never ... and break off relations with ... You're guilty smile and says: "Sorry, I instinctively ... "That is acting like a spineless rag and a chatterbox, what are you now, from her point of view is. Because a real man, like Dima Bilan, is able to keep his word.

What to say next time?

A. You know, to tie all of this turned out to be much harder than I thought. Thank God, I have your support!

B. You specifically was assigned to me to always follow me?

B. Say thank you that I am not able to keep his word. I promised a friend to throw you in the last year.

Correct answer: B

For girls it is important that you really want to match her expectations. She wants to make you better, so do not resist: it is not painful. Believe assistance, she will be ready to assist you in dealing with bad habits, will brighten up your life in brief intervals between abstinence from them.

* Note Phacochoerus'a Funtik:

"If you, for no reason at all swore by Allah and violated the oath to atone, you enough to feed ten poor (see. Surah Al-Maida, verse 89). In fact, the Muslims I have an ambivalent attitude: Although pigs are vain and not destroy, but consider us unclean animals. Maybe, just do not know how to cook? ".

8. Grace to fallen

In bed, you got a misfire, and now you swear that nothing like this ever happened to you before. That is enough. Even more difficult situation you can only if the evidence for the exceptional case kineshsya seek out witnesses of your past victories.

What to say next time?

A. Well, that's an eloquent answer to the question, Do you stouter ...

B. I am very tired today. Believe me, you have nothing to do with it: you are more beautiful than it ever was.

Q. You know, maybe I just do it so boring. Maybe try to make it three?

Correct answer: B

Try to say otherwise, and she certainly solve the problem in it. She's terrorized advertising "coding of cellulite" and "Lose Weight per kilogram for three years" - and now suddenly it turns out that these ads are designed specifically for her? Calm it down until it is too late. Just you have technical difficulties, it is in this spirit and should discuss the problem. Otherwise, it will go mad, thinking that it is not so. Yes, and it will be easier. You do not fall asleep, his soul rastraviv thoughts about this fiasco.

9. PRO listen

It would seem that you just distracted for a second. And it was necessary to you to nod out of place at precisely the moment when it meanly asked: "Are you just pretending as if listening to me?" Do not try to get out: you're still not able to repeat a word of what she said, before. And she would say later, and so clearly: "You do not care about my problems. You lost all interest in me again ... You're not listening to me! »

What to say next time?

A. Did you ever? Well, at least once ?? Said anything worthwhile ???

B. It seems that today I was drinking tea in my ear is exposed to water. What's that you say? I can not hear!

Q. I digress ... really I think about where we spend the holidays with you.

Correct answer: The

She did not find what to say. Yes, you did not listen to it, and deserve the worst punishment. But you thought about it, and it is worthy of praise. And if your thoughts were devoted to your joint plans, on top of that she is also intrigued. Plans do not reveal themselves, remain mysterious. And stop yawning as she says - it somehow does not go to your mystery.

10. Jealousy is not a vice

In fact, you're not jealous. However, at a recent party you did not even let her dance with her brother, explaining that, in these troubled times additional security measures will not prevent.

What to say next time?

A. You know, I love you so much that sometimes really look stupid.

B. I must confess, did not know that you could be someone interesting.

B. Get your things and Wali this to the waiter, who are you staring all evening.

Correct answer: A

Well, as it then you accuse? Women like to feel under your protection, and not under close supervision. Jealousy is for women only one thing: you're in it uncertain. She is sure to come to mind an example of Othello. The guy also differed too much vehemence - and remember what it was over?

Source: www.maximonline.ru


See also

New and interesting


We on Google+