Mommy about Daddy. Life Stories

I told my husband: "I'll have to buy a ribbon - if a girl pink, if the boy - blue." For a long time to argue with me, proving that he wants green!

And our dad when the small month was 5, he was reading a textbook on nuclear physics. Small eyes bulge and fell asleep within 5 minutes.

I leave the store and give the instructions the Pope: "If you poop, change diapers." What got the answer: "Listen ... maybe better now?"

I'm pregnant, I wake up at 5:30, I feel - in the legs flows. Pushed her husband: "Turn on the light, it seems water has broken." I turned and looked: "Yes, it looks like." Lies and asks: "Well, turn off the light?". He's going to sleep on! ..

Today, our father came home after work, for the hundredth time pulled our varmint out of the pot with a palm tree, removed the spilled earth, shook the child, said to him, "No way!" Ten times, sadly looked at how a kid again headed for the pot, and finally spoke: "Yes ... A whole day with him really hard, one by one ..."

Dad looks at newborn daughter, suddenly he turned pale and said: "Oh my God, our daughter can not walk!" I am horrified - why do you think that? He says, "Look what her heels round - it is they can not stand! We have something that's flat ... "

In the hospital she asked her husband to go down to the store and buy a bar of soap for children's soap. Gone, he did not return. Comes with empty hands and says: "They have no such bar of soap, only adults are. A bar of soap adult I did not buy it. "It turned out he had all this time to convince the shop that he needs it baby soap dish and of any other, he does not want to hear!

In the hospital she asked her husband to bring something from the dresser, said that it is necessary to take the third box on top ... my husband brought the whole box with the words: "My dear, I did not find what you wanted - see itself".

Dad daily discharge his wife and daughter from the hospital looks as wife and mother-in-law carry a child in her arms, and said: "Listen, let release it on the floor, let crawl".

On the day of discharge from the hospital calling, say, all the documents with me, come and take us to 12 hours. And he answers: "Oh, now probably will not work, come tomorrow" - and hung up the phone! I'm in touch ... Then it turned out that at this time he was on the planning meeting - did not even know who was calling. Took :)

When the child was a month and a half, Dad put it rattles. Each handle, leg, ankle, and stock up on - put a rattle. And with a straight face he said, "Because they are specifically for this purpose and are made!"

When Zhorzhik was little, month 3, lying, crying ... Daddy suits "Zhorzhik what happened, why are you crying?" Take him up: "Oh, you're wet, describe ... And what are you silent?"

Place your baby in the crib, say the pope: "Look for the child wakes up, you say." But she had the kitchen with a friend for tea. And I must add that before that, I fed the baby. And that's just the tea poured from the room heard scream: "Everything here, Aline bad!" Of course, frightened ran into the room. Pope to the atmosphere: "The child has epilepsy, call an ambulance!" I went to bed ... and I see that Alina srygnula :)

She asked her husband somehow put the child to sleep during the day, and she went into the kitchen. My son fell asleep. After a while I look in the room and discovers that he is sleeping peacefully in bed in shoes! Rushes to her husband, "Why not take off shoes ?!" irritably replied: "Kate, that I'll always say, you are not able to give clear instructions. How do you manage to work as a teacher? You told me about the shoes never said a word! "

Dad stomped daughters in a manger for the first time came, and the children were still sleeping. The teacher was busy with something and asked him gently to wake her daughter and put ... In general, the child arrived home in boys' pants, blouse and strangers removable slippers. Mom in shock all weekend imagined the poor boy - wakes up on a chair and pink dress ... Dad was justified by the fact that there are rows of beds and chairs between them with clothes - well, think, confused ...