We often do not from malice uses the phrase ......

We often do not from malicious intent to use phrases that provoke conflict - scientists call them contentious. To keep peace in the family and at work, psychologists recommend to replace them with more neutral.
Add to the wall so as not to forget.

1. "That is not my job," "I do not pay for it." The most common excuses from work. In 99% of cases they cause irritation in the head and show him your indifference. It's much better to say, "I have a lot of jobs today. Which of them should I do first? ».

2. "I have no time to talk to you", "I'm busy." Such responses - a sign of bad upbringing. Is it ethical to say, "I apologize, but we have now started an emergency meeting, and I have to go. Let's call each other and discuss your problem the next time, "or" Let's discuss this in an hour: I just finish one thing ».

3. "It may sound stupid, but ..." This "entry" initially questioned the validity of all the things that you're going to say. Ban himself to utter that phrase.

4. "No offense, but ..." It sounds as a warning that further follow something unpleasant. So you give yourself installation to your interlocutor took your speech precisely as insulting. So as soon as you feel that this phrase is about to fall through your mouth - to change the subject.

5. "How can you better!" Or "Oh, you lost weight!". Weight - sensitive issue for many. People are hard to accept the changes that happen to their body, so these comments may be cool to spoil their mood. Instead, say, "You look great!»

6. "At your age, you look good." The phrase sounds like a reminder of the age, and can be interpreted as follows: "In comparison with other old men you look tolerably well." Simply say: "You look great».

7. "You are in my repertoire." Try not to hang labels. Instead of conflict phrases can say: "I am disappointed that you are once again left the dishes in the sink. What can we do to because there were no more? ". Thanks to use the pronoun "I" you aktsentiruete attention to how you feel, not on what your partner is bad. This will be an incentive for him to eliminate the problem of harassing you.

8. "If you really loved me, you would ...". Saying this phrase, you do not just manipulate a partner, but does he know that his attitude towards you you do not like. It is unlikely that this will contribute to a strong bond between you. Better to say, "I would feel better if we could ...." The best way to maintain a productive relationship - just explain why you're upset, and then offer a solution.

9. "You were too good for him," "I'm glad you got rid of her." Even if you try to comfort someone after the break with a partner, he may perceive this phrase as an insult to his taste, and a certificate of inability to understand people. Use instead: "He / she has lost a lot / a" - perceive it exactly right.


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