Student stories

Nearing the session, as a reminder to students and memories - all the rest.
Student little stories.

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The story of the teacher:
 - 15 years ago gave me the exam a student. He answered very well, I was going to put him in the record book 5, but that's the trouble, the word "record book" right out of your head taken off (all happens in life). I said to him:
 - Well, let her this ...
 - What? ..
 - Well, as it is with all the students in the exam come, ...
Creepy guy blushed and pulled out his HUGE crib.
 - Here ... - stretches. And now, by the way, he became a professor, at our faculty works.
So I was not able to find out what the professor.

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We went as a practical lesson on the mat. analysis. The teacher scolded one student: "Before offset 2 weeks left, and you ..." And looking at the floor. And at this time on the floor runs cockroach. And the teacher is looking straight at him and teaches: "All run, walk, I'll play the fool in the classroom will not let !!" Cockroach stopped in the middle of the audience, listening, mustache wiggles (listens, then shakes on mustache). & Quot; ... Do not want to learn, do not - go away, no you do not keep !! & quot; And after this phrase cockroach so calm, the audience leaves. Now, how cool!

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We had just a couple of 4th lecture on algebra. All tired, everything is on the barn. And the teacher said something about a ring, with enthusiasm, but pretty boring. His face turned to the blackboard, speaking and writing. At the last party on a piece of paper written poster: "want to go home !!" - and pass through the entire audience in the front row. People animated, begins to smile. I'm sitting in the front row and put the poster on the table right in front of the teacher. Someone could not resist, giggled. The teacher finally turns reading, without saying a word takes a pen, wrote on the back side of the paper: "Wanting is not bad !!" raises the leaf shows it all again turns his back to us, and continues to write on the blackboard lecture.

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A student writes the exam cheat sheet on his feet, putting on fishnet stockings and black skirt length 20 inches sits down to answer, so it sits, the commercials (tries to read), then lift one foot taller then the other - just barely meets. Prof silently watching her gestures, signs and gives zachetku. Coming out of the audience, she opens the record book, and there in the "score" the inscription: "Good!»

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We had a local god of thunder with the Department of Mathematics Gogh Borachinsky. Phystech older generation still remember him without a shudder can not. Once caught him on the exam A student, and he puts his top three. He asks:
 - Perhaps, after all, two? - (Hoping to re-take to get to the normal prep and get five.)
 - No. You basically can not know more than three!
 - Igor Agafonovich, well please ...
 - Fair Enough. Here's a challenge: decide - I put two decide - go with the triple ...

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Prep: What do you call this value?
Student: This value is expressed here in this formula through ...
P: No, I'm not asking how to get it, what's it called?
C: ?? W-well ... Sigma ...
P: No, not as it is designated, and the name?
From: ???
P: Well, as you have it in lectures called?
C: Ah! I remembered !!! Damn it's called! Lecturer and said, take this damn ...

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One of my fellow students had previously studied at law school with him and often hilarious incidents occurred. One day, while still a freshman, he slept through the exam and quickly dressed and ran to the university. Resorts, knocking at the office (23), where the right to accept, then comes in to get a ticket. It came time to answer, and he read as a person, it should be noted, an excellent knowledge of this subject, and at the graduate level. As a result, the teacher puts him five and asks zachetku ... it turns out that he had to take the Roman law, and said some other things. Moreover, the exam is taken in the fourth year (and he was the first), and no one else, five did not answer. But the funny thing is that philosophers have strained ...

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In ancient times, functioning on the territory of the military department of Bauman toilet. And hanging in the closet two fire extinguishers. One near the front door, the other just above the toilet. Came one major, sat on a grand scale. After finishing their work, gets up from the toilet and engages shoulder extinguisher hanging directly over the toilet. Fire extinguisher falls and is included! What do the poor Major? He keeps the pants with one hand while the other grabbed a fire extinguisher and sent a jet into the toilet. And screaming scream, "Help-E-E-E !!!!!" The cry resorts colonel, sees this very horrible picture, missing from the wall of the second fire extinguisher, includes it and directs the jet in the toilet.

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After losing a KVN team is going to the home of Captain pour sadness, melancholy. The company is big, sit at the push the table covered with a tablecloth. One of the guys goes through excess of grief and falls asleep at the table. The rest of the goodness of his heart, so as not to interfere with, everything clean and quiet, without putting his shoes right on the table, leaving the light out.
After some time, a man wakes up in total darkness, trying to get up and then hand it falls into the void. He begins to rummage all around and realizes that appeared on some site and it is unclear at what altitude. Stumbles upon a forgotten fork and gently pushes her down.
Fork clings fringe tablecloths, hangs ten seconds and falls. He is in the brain are assessing - how much she flew ...
When the loud cries for help from the kitchen ran people opened the picture in "12 chairs" with his father Fyodor, - the guy sitting on the table, swinging, sobbing, turns to God and vows to quit drinking ...

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In the CPI, in 1982 or '83, dorm 4 students wrote a bullet. One, of course, to the community cards, leaned back from the table and leaned back against the wall. At this time, Dean walks into the room to circumvent (and I must say that the cards beat very strictly), sees players is white with indignation and asks that leaned against the wall: "You, too, are playing?". Spacey horror student murmurs: "I'm on the buy." The final story - big trouble (can not remember exactly what, but until deductions) three and nothing to someone who was on the buy.