My mother-in-law got up early in the morning and washed my husband’s shoes, and when I asked why, she gave me a caustic answer.

For those who do not know how to do this, we say: my shoes Right. First brush with rough bristles remove the main layer of dirt and dust. Then we urinate the clean cloth in warm water and thoroughly wipe the entire surface of the product. And in the end, using a solution of powder with soap, we get rid of the remains of dirt. It would seem that everyone knows the information, but some adults still do not own it. Why? Parental hyperprotection and general insolvency. And there are, trust us, many of them.



Two questions remain. The first is why some parents are unable to “cut the umbilical cord” and finally give their children the freedom to go out into the big world. And secondly, why can children, even at a fairly mature age, not get away from their mothers and fathers to learn how to manage their own lives? Maybe it's in your genes. Or maybe it comes out gradually, over time. So it's parenting. What do you think is the reason for this behavior?

Despite the fact that I got married relatively recently, I know almost everything about my husband’s family. No wonder we were dating for about 5 years. And all this time, I had to communicate with my future mother-in-law, whom you don't feed bread, just let your tongue scratch about anything. Not that I have complaints about it, just want to make all the introductory ones as accessible as possible. And the essence of my problem is trouble in married life.

So, while Valentine and I were dating, it was nothing. I lived in a dormitory, studied at a local institute. Valya also studied, but he did not rent an apartment, but lived with his mother and sister. He's a nice guy and always has been. You know, the kind of person who never starts a fight. Moreover, I never want to quarrel with him. This is him, soft, light, not aggressive at all. And very, very sincere.



This is how my mother raised my husband, I know for sure. His sister Luba, she's a bit of a different dough. She obviously became her father. Lyuba is also a good person, but each of our conversations in one way or another touches on the same topic: how she wants to move out of her mother’s apartment, but can not because of her age and financial capabilities. I didn’t even understand it before, but now it’s more than that. If only her impulses did not play a cruel joke with her in the future.

As I said before, Valentine and I were separated. And after that, I moved to live in an apartment with the Valina family. They have a big room. And no one was against it, believe me, I’m not one of those people who are usually called prey. A penny to a penny, we could rent ourselves. But we need to face the truth, to save on everything at our age banal do not want. There is no need if there is an option not to. We have a huge room for two, all amenities. So what could be the problem?



In my mother-in-law, she's the problem. You see, she still doesn't want to let her son go. I mean, yeah. She knows he has a wife and even a job. It's kind of okay in that regard. But either from idleness or from excessive feelings, she devotes all her free time to Valentine. More specifically, his courtship. I washed his shoes yesterday. I got up at six in the morning and washed. She dropped something off the shelf and woke us all up. I asked her why she was doing it at such a time. And she said that if she couldn't handle it, she'd have to be there for help.

I don’t even know if I’ll take her words as a claim or not. There are many examples of this, and not all of them are related to me. There was a case where she spent four hours driving across town to buy a huge fish. And then all day stuffing it with some tricky recipe. Why? Just the other day, Valya recalled how he first tried the same fish at the birthday of one of his relatives. My mother-in-law knocked on my head to repeat that dish. No reason. No reason.

And then there was the case when she personally washed her entire huge apartment, walked on top with disinfectants, only because Valentine began to sneeze. I thought it might be a coronavirus. Thank goodness I was out of town at the time, so I went home to my parents. So you can understand that, probably, my mother-in-law does not hold any evil against me. It's just like this.



And yet I think it's a problem. But not just because my husband’s mother doesn’t look at one place. The fact is that he is not against this attitude towards himself. Grown-up guy, I'd like to say "man," but I won't. In this case, I will have to call myself a woman, and I do not want to, I am still a girl. But still. Valentine is already at the age when it is worth thinking about a separate living space and children. And he doesn't mind getting his pillow kicked.

Just don't think I just want more attention and more fun. I know that the topic is popular now when women are exposed who, in principle, do not need anything from men except money and gifts. I'm not like that, I work myself, even though I make a little less than my husband. But I, like him, give part of my salary to utilities and groceries. So it's hard to call me a freeloader.

And yet, at this stage, such a life does not suit me. It’s hard to share your husband with someone else. And I guess when I'm gone, my mother-in-law asks Valentine about all our secrets. She loves fear. Who can stand that? I'm kind of tired.



What is more interesting is the reason why the Valiny father left the family. He basically doesn't like to talk about it. But his mother will not miss the chance to wash all the bones of the ex. And what a bad person he is. And what, it turns out, is rude and callous. Although she had enough conscience to stay in the apartment they both bought. I don’t even know where he moved to, my husband’s family is suspiciously silent.

On the one hand, you can still pull rubber, be patient. Personally, I don’t see any point in it. It would also be possible to move to rented housing, but I know for sure that, firstly, it will be a scandal, and, secondly, the mother-in-law will reach us there. Don't go to Grandma's. What's left, divorce? I don't know, I didn't expect Valentine to be such a mama's boy. I didn’t think about it for so long before the wedding, but the past year has put a lot of things in their place. I love him and don’t want to leave him.



In general, all the nerves and negativity. I’ve been thinking about the future before. But yesterday's shoe washing situation kind of got me through. It's just not normal, okay? Maybe I should talk to Valentine's friends sometime so they can hint at my difficulties. Men's collective, after all. I don't know, I'm not in the mood. I want everything to be okay. I married for love, not just for nothing to do.