My husband’s father built a large house with two entrances for his children, and recently my family and I moved there, but it turned out not to be so fabulous.

My mother told me that life with my husband’s relatives would not be easy. But I didn't listen to her. I thought my situation was exceptional and my communication skills were enough for everyone. I even managed to find a common language with my impregnable mother-in-law! But when she died, the trouble came from where they did not expect. We've been sharing a roof with a sister-in-law for a year now. We inherited the house, and she settled in it much earlier. Unbeknownst to us, we moved into our half. It was here that the satanic character of Galina Konstantinovna appeared - we live under her strict supervision, and her husband will not say a word. You often have to use phrases that put people in their place. What if he doesn’t understand well?



Phrases that put a person in his place I understand that character is not spoiled by a good life. Galina had a hard time - she is older than my husband by 9 years, their mother was a very sick person. Therefore, Andrew’s upbringing completely fell on the weak shoulders of his older sister.

She took him to school and did his homework with him. Andrew is so used to listening to her in everything that even now he can not contradict her in anything. I suspect he is afraid of her (out of old habit).

My father-in-law worked hard to rebuild this house. I have to say, it turned out like a fairy tale! The house is large, mirrored, with two entrances and two equivalent plots. Andrey’s parents planned everything so that they could bequeath two equal parts to their children.



Unsplash We, while my parents were alive, rented a two-bedroom apartment for three - me, my husband and daughter. When her mother-in-law died, her husband’s sister immediately moved into her own half. That's where it all started.

Up to this point, we got along well, although we only saw each other at family feasts. My daughter is growing up, but she is a couple of years older, she is already in school. So you sit down to talk to a person, and it seems that everything between you is good, even there is some understanding. But living together changed everything. Please note that we are now together, although I believe that this should not be the case.

When his father-in-law died, according to his last wish, we moved to his parents' home. I mean, half of it. By that time, Galina Konstantinovna already had a plan for a small restructuring. The idea was to slightly update the landscape. She invited the architect, and the gardener, and the budget was blown up. We were only required to contribute our half while the sister-in-law took over the organization and planning. It would seem a sin to complain.



The idea was that the update of both sides was also mirrored, so that the view did not spoil. So our side has already been planned according to Galina's tastes. I did not mind, and my husband, too, in the end, the money was invested a lot and the idea was beautiful. A few decorative trees, a hedge, stone paths in a new way, in general, all feng shui.

I once said that white doors might not be the most practical solution, but nobody listened to me. Even the husband we always made decisions with was now on my sister's side. Then the reshuffle started.

I grew up in a private house and do not like the bustle of the city. Since childhood, I helped my grandmother in the country and I know how to handle the land. After living in the apartment, I wanted to grow something. Before that, I only had cherry tomatoes on the windowsill, and now the whole lot. I don't want to.



Nothing special: cucumbers, tomatoes, a couple of squash. Choosing a wonderful Sunday afternoon, I started the preparations and cleared a bit of the plot under the windows. I'm just starting to put on a greenhouse, sister-in-law here. The scream is all over the street! How did I, without consulting her, "spoil her landscape design" and "want to make a thicket of weeds." I'm just stunned.

Not only did she make all the decisions about my precinct, but I can't plant anything. Because everything, you see, should be the same and neat, the neighbors envy.

My husband tried to convince me to surrender. As a result, I decided to postpone the idea until next season on the principle of “love and suffer”. And it seemed to me that this gesture of goodwill should bear fruit, but things have only gotten worse since then.

As I said, there is a lot of decorative vegetation in both areas, and someone has to take care of it. So every meeting with a sister-in-law is getting directions. When and what to cut, dig, fertilize and so on.



Not only that, she also gives instructions to our daughter and teaches her. The last straw was that I noticed that Mashenka stopped going to the neighboring site to play with her daughter Galina. I asked what had happened, and she said, "Aunt Galya has banned it." It turns out that the sister-in-law does not want Masha to walk “flowers trampled” and generally play on that site, because she is afraid for clean walls and paths. At the same time, her daughter calmly does everything she wants on our site!

I decided that this can no longer continue, and made up my own defense mechanism. Turns out she could have been negotiated with! Only words had to be chosen by others. Here's a list of my favorite phrases I use when my sister-in-law starts building me again.



Unsplash: “Is your life so boring that you keep getting into mine?”

“When I need your advice, I’ll let you know.”

“I have a choice, and I choose to do so.”

As soon as I clearly defined my boundaries, I noticed that Galina Konstantinovna was not so impregnable in her decisions, but only if she was given freedom. You put a little pressure on it, and it immediately extinguishes. Probably not used to being denied.

My husband and I were not welcome before. We've always done "ugly" and "wrong." Now that she says that, I say,

“Yes, I know it is ugly and wrong. I like it so much! It is part of my identity.”



When I openly refuse to do anything for landscape design on my site, Galina begins a tantrum, lamenting that it is impossible to live like this and that we treat her ungodly, that it violates her rights. Then I suggest she call the police so that the police can judge us. There are other effective arguments that help me talk to her:

“You’re wasting your precious time on me.”

“If it is so important to you that the landscape is the same, do as we do.”

“That’s what I’m going to decide with my husband, not you.”

You have too much free time, judging by how often you give it to me.

“It’s very difficult to follow my life and yours, you’re probably very tired.”



Unsplash Husband at first wasn't thrilled that we "stopped getting along." But we didn't get along. And over time, she seems to be getting bored, and she's showing up at our door less and less. And her daughter, too.

I really don't know what to do now. People say that it is wise to either move out or sell part of the house. To rent housing at his site is also not an option, and to sell the husband does not want - still the father-in-law built everything with his own hands, especially for him. I don’t want to live in constant stress either. Besides, I really want to get a dog. But I'm afraid Galina could poison a poor animal if the dog digs her land.

I'm waiting for spring. Do you think we should put a greenhouse?