There is no cheating in our family, but I still want to divorce my husband, and this is why. Bashny.Net

Today we live in a time of active social change and reform. Women are becoming more and more independent, while men, on the contrary, are increasingly trying on the image of a housewife or “second number” in relation to family life. Is that normal? There are different opinions. Surely. what is degradation In a close circle? Inability to accept the rules of the game in time. As a result, marriages collapse, couples diverge and there is a total separation of a man from a woman.



The modern world has already changed too much for us to behave as before. Social tenets no longer work, and that is a fact. A man with an average salary cannot feed himself, his wife and two children. Therefore, the spouse must also contribute to the overall budget. But who will take on the role of guardian of the hearth? If before everything was transparent and clear, now there are more and more questions. Which is very difficult and inconvenient to answer.

There are husbands of tyrants who almost immediately scream or open their hands. There are drinkers or parasites who bring nothing into the house, but at least demand nothing from their wives. They are like the punishment of heaven. But my case is not like this, I have a modern, fashionable and advanced miser, who considers himself almost the Messiah, who is born once in 100 years. The worst possible option. Take my word for it. With him, I learned what degradation is.

I tried to get out of marriage more than once. But she always came back. First, we have a son in common who somehow loves his dad. And secondly, my poor state of affairs in terms of housing. I'm a stranger in town, so renting an apartment is the best I can count on. And the money for such luxury to take just nowhere. If another I could somehow shelter in some corner, then with a child it is simply impossible.



Peels Alexei has always been like that. The man's passport only. Don't ask how I married him, was young, stupid, naive, if you will. I made a big mistake in my life. At first I really looked through my fingers at his constant pettiness. I hoped that this is a sign of a “economic man” who will be able to provide for the family at all costs. To some extent I was right: he has a good job, connections and prospects. But it's him, not me.

He likes to wake up early, go to the bathroom and do his business very loudly. Then I get up to get a dose of criticism: the towels are not hanging correctly; the water meter is somehow not at the mark it should be; why toothpaste is so scarce. And it's not screaming, no. A quiet, calm itch that I've even learned to ignore. After breakfast, we don’t talk about anything good. At breakfast, I get instructions for the whole day ahead. I don't know how to live. Alexei knows everything for me.



If, for example, I have to go to school with a child (usually he gets there on his own), then I must ask for money for the trip. It's such a ritual of humiliation, as if my husband doesn't know that financially I'm completely dependent on him. In this case, he sighs with a smug look and draws the necessary amount from the wallet. No more. If the bills are too big, he might even ask quip if I could give him change. Yeah, I would. In the nose.

In the evening, the homework check begins. First mine, then my son. What I did as a housewife all day. Why is this and that not as it should be? Somewhere there was dust, and why not cleaned? Dinner should be exactly what he likes. Lots of fried, fatty and salty. Thank goodness I’ve been able to eat mostly dairy. That's why at 32 I don't look like a typical housewife with greasy hair and waist.

Then I have about an hour of free time: Alexey focuses his attention on his son and I have only to go about my business, while through the wall I hear my father screaming at his son. He probably thinks his son must be a child prodigy. Well, there's a mistake. Troikas are everything. If I had to study with him, I would have gone crazy. How can you influence a person’s handwriting? In the 21st century, where no one uses pens, only a computer and a phone?



Here is where we have a daily routine that only changes a little on the weekends. I can’t go anywhere with my friends because there’s no money in the family budget. There are new clothes for it, and for my needs there is not enough. That's why I hardly ever go out. Sometimes I can walk around town and see people. At my age, I feel like a pensioner.

Intimacy is intimate, but even if I wanted to, I could not boast of anything. In this regard, we have peace and quiet. A good night's sleep, without any pressure from me or him. Honestly, I would be glad if my husband suddenly found a mistress. Or better yet, he would have gone to live with her. Then I would be able to stay with the child, make my own plan of action and find a job. It's a banal housewife's dream. But I fully understood what degradation is. I'm done.



How do we change this? Someone will probably disagree with me and start giving examples. I know that in modern society there are many unhappy couples with half-failed marriages. That's clear. But my situation is somehow closer to me, you know, and it seems to me that in any other case it would be possible to change something, somehow agree. Not to live with a man who wears pants, goes to work, but is never a man.

The most important thing I can do is file for divorce. But then I don't get any alimony. Alexey will easily hire a good lawyer and my son and I will be paid some pennies, believe me, he has already taken care of it. Also, I can spit on everything and move with the child to my parents. A completely different area. Become a burden to mom and dad and family shame. The prospects are not very bright. Or keep doing what I'm doing right now. To endure and continue to learn what degradation is.



My cousin advised me to go to a family psychologist with my husband. It's as if he's willing to do that. Who in this world can be smarter than him? But overall, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. I'll keep pushing it. If everything goes well, maybe there will be some changes. Because I feel like this is the way I'm going to be 40. And then there will be no properly washed curtains in the house, nor ironed sheets. It's a mess.