Should I take my husband back, wipe my feet over me and the kids, and now I've pulled my tail and he wants to go back?

Family troubles are an internal matter. They don't like counselors. Although now it has become fashionable to admit the presence of family psychologists and other “coaches for internal development”. And before that, a woman decided for herself. forgive. And the husband, in turn, also made decisions without outside instructions. But a new time has come, good or bad. And things started to work differently.



Peels Internet psychologists know about people that hair will stand on end. They may never see their clients in person. Moreover, the psychologists themselves from education can be only the average unfinished. And what to do, if the people believe, you can “treat” him a little. How do you feel about things like that? Do you accept it, or do you not understand it yet?

My husband and I divorced after 14 years together. In fact, I read that experts say that the highest peak of divorces is in the first three years of marriage. The chances of divorce gradually decrease with each passing year. I guess I was so lucky. And the story is actually banal and sad. A young girl appeared.

Vanya asked me to marry when we were very young. I am an average girl from an average family. He is the son of powerful parents, the only one. At the same time, not some major, but already then a novice specialist who will gladly be hired anywhere in the country. And his character was pretty good, too. Not without their cockroaches, and yet.



Peels Of course I agreed. The father-in-law gave us a chic three-bedroom apartment in the center. There was no problem that my family could not afford such luxury at all. Keep it quiet. We could not have a child for a long time, but then there was a son, and two years later and a daughter. I thought my life was a book novel where everything was just fine and wonderful, without any swing.

But a year and a half ago we got divorced. He hired a young employee, she pretended to be trying hard to figure it out, and it turned out that it wasn't just him. I don't even want to remember. In general, Ivan quickly made a choice not in my favor and put me and the children in the cold. Yeah, he paid child support. But what was it for me, their mothers? Especially without education and work experience?



My parents took me and my children to live in my grandmother’s former apartment. It was hard, sick and very unusual. But over time, I learned to live like the middle class: saving, working and combining childcare with laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking and everything else. Until at some point I got a call from an ex. In a violin voice, he apologized and admitted that he was wrong.

After a week of persuasion, I agreed to meet him. In a cheap diner near my house. But it didn’t matter, the main thing was to understand what my ex-husband wanted from me and what the hell he was calling for. A wrinkled man came to our meeting, with bags under his eyes, weekly bristles and a persistent smell of despair. I had to really strain to recognize Ivan, once athletic and satisfied with his life successful entrepreneur.



His story turned out to be banal simple. At least for me. The girl he chose only wanted more and more money over time. She demanded to take her on vacation and shopping in other countries. It got to the point that she staged a tantrum at the auto show, when Ivan did not buy her favorite “machine”. And in the end, she stole the firm's important information and sold it to competitors. In short, karma in action.

Naturally, Ivan begged me to come back with the children. He stood on his knees and begged for forgiveness. And before we met, I was very afraid that I would do just that. Even before he asks. To my surprise, I didn’t want to. I was looking at the person I once loved, and I had no emotion in my head. Nothing good or bad, just indifference.



I even asked my ex to stop acting like a clown in front of onlookers. But I did it only because loud screams made my head hurt. All right, yell what you want. On the street, crazy people scream sometimes. Is that a reason to think about them for a second? No, that's their problem.

When I got home, I spent a long time thinking about my inner emptiness and apathy. In the morning I shared my thoughts, or rather their absence, with my mother and friends. I can’t stand all sorts of advisers and other “passers”, but at that moment their opinion was important to me. So after doing all the morning stuff, I sat down at the phone.

As a result, opinions were divided, as always. My friends were emotionally criticizing me for going to a meeting. How could I, after my feet were wiped on me and the children? Under no circumstances can a second chance be given. After all, if he betrayed once, he will betray the second time. Especially since I just learned how to be independent.



My mother was happy that I met Ivan. Of course, she did not take the situation as a whole well, but she advised me to think about the future. Children grow up and it is stressful for them. And who wants to fly from the prince in the mud, especially at this age? Besides, she reminded me that I still don't cook well. And before, we had a chef who made just wonderful dishes.

That is, the mother was on the side of returning to the family, and friends warned not to repeat their mistake and not to contact the ex. And this is against the background of the fact that I still do not understand what feelings I have for this person and whether I feel them at all.

It's been a month and I'm in my grandmother's apartment. I try to cook with books, so it’s more or less. Some things are still difficult for me to do, but farming is a matter of practice. On the other hand, I keep in touch with Ivan. He started giving more money to the kids, stopped drinking and kept begging me to come back. The month seemed to be more productive for him.



Well, I'm still in prostration. And leave everything as it is, and there is no desire to return. I don't know what to do. I'm an adult now, not a child. I feel like something inside of me has changed. But I hope that soon everything will be as before, and I will be able to make balanced, independent decisions. In the meantime, something like that.