I wasn't going to put my mom in an old man's shelter, but I live abroad now.

Almost everyone has time to learn how to get sick and recover, raise children, help loved ones and strangers. And how much mental and physical strength requires the care of the elderly. And that the majority cope with such life tasks more conscientiously than because of the traditional “so it should”.

Care for the elderly

Unfortunately, there are also cases that are quite ugly when nursingChildren, people with disabilities become almost torture for those who are “groomed” by morally defective individuals. But we are not talking about such phenomena, but about challenges, often presented by a number of life circumstances to ordinary people, with a living conscience, grew up in the warmth of normal relations.

Here writes one of the readers: For more than fifteen years I have lived and worked in Poland. I met my husband here. We've been together for almost ten years. We're raising two kids. We are renting an apartment, but soon we plan to buy a loan. Before the pandemic and the height of the war, we often came to Ukraine. And now you know...



But there, at home, my mom, she's 74, and a brother from my mom's first marriage. Until recently, things were going well. My brother worked, my mother was retired, she managed the house. I helped them and helped them financially. At the end of last year, my brother suffered a stroke. He came out, but the strength and health are not the same. And my mother because of stress sharply jumped blood sugar, began heart problems, pressure. The vision deteriorated dramatically...

Although it could have started earlier. You know, like in the village, they go to the doctors when it's bad. My mother started talking about a nursing home. Every conversation with her is her and my tears. Here we live near Krakow, a nice home for the elderly. The husband suggested: let Tatiana Nikitichna live a little there, after all, care, treatment, we are close. Let's not buy an apartment, but a house with a garden and take Mrs. Tanya to your house.



Mom and I agree. And the brother is dissatisfied with what remains in this case without inheritance. Heart torn apart... What do you do? ?

As they say, someone else’s misfortune will spread their hands. Liar. I understand the reader's confusion. And I have no idea what to say, except that you need to take into account the pros and cons of any solution, the possibility of compromise and the interests of all involved in the problem.



But it's just a universal excuse, isn't it? I visited a similar institution in our city several times when my colleagues and I helped set up a library there. Several decades have passed, but I still remember the smell of sour cabbage mixed with the smell of disinfection, urine and paint. “How can you stand it day in and day out?” she thought.

A few years later, at the request of the Kiev aunt, she came there to visit her lonely friend, who after the death of her also single sister decided to live out her days in this institution. I didn’t feel any nasty smells that time.

Care for the elderly: aunt Anya rejoiced. I baked an apple in a handkerchief for the visit, we chatted in her small single room. There she moved her parents’ antique mirror and antique bureau, her bed with tapestry blanket, curtains, a narrow tableware slide with beautiful dishes, favorite books and photos, a good carpet on the floor, a floor lamp and chair with almost a toy table - the atmosphere of her room in the house where they lived with her late sister and which Aunt Anya sold.



She liked the house for the elderly, she could see. I especially enjoyed the large garden and flower gardens - the opportunity to devote myself to a long-term hobby. A company of several film and theater lovers appeared, and they went there more often than many people living in the family.

Say, yes, for the elderly without a family, without children, this is one of the suitable options for completing the earthly path. But with live children?! The mind does not fit, the heart does not accept. Do people shift the care of the elderly to the state, to hired workers? And will go like a tsunami, a wave of neighboring and nearby disturbance, especially in villages and small towns.



And if the native children cannot provide such care for the elderly, in which they will not only have something to eat and where to lay their heads, but, perhaps, there will be a sincere interlocutor with a similar fate?

Many from abroad and for the funeral can not come, there is always a reason. My mother and I seem to have found a good solution. We can't predict everything. Fate... Here: Judge not, nor judged. Do you agree?