“Grandma’s upbringing costs money”: Mom doesn’t want to sit with grandchildren for free

“Raising a grandmother costs money,” said Angelina Stepanovna. Her daughter wants her to move to the capital. But the old woman does not want to give up her provincial life. An elderly woman is ready to give up her job and home. But in return, she wants to be paid to care for her grandchildren. Whether this is normal, we will discuss in today’s article.



My husband and my children live in the capital. My parents always lived in a small town. And no matter how much I begged them to come closer to us, they always refused. My husband’s parents died in a car accident when he was young. So the only relatives I go to with my kids are my mom and dad.

But a year ago, my father passed away. My mother grieved for a long time, completely unstuck. I even had to live with her for a while. It helped her a lot. She pulled herself together and kept working. Despite her age, she still works part-time at school. She loves communication with the younger generation.



For the same reason, my mother was always happy to wait for us to come with the children. We have two of them: son Pasha and daughter Olya. And they're crazy about Grandma. They are always asking when we will go back to her. And to be honest, I started to get very upset.

The fact is that riding back and forth is quite difficult. We have our own car, but it takes a lot of money. We talked to my husband and decided to invite my mother to live with us. We have a spare room, and Dima's relationship with her is just wonderful.



I am sad that my mother lives there alone. I want her to feel safe and always be able to rely on us. We went to visit her a couple of months ago. This is not the kind of reaction I expected from my mother.

Atypical grandmother gave her answer I thought that mom would be happy and immediately agree. After all, we have all the conditions for a beautiful happy life in the capital. But my mother asked me to give her time to think. I answered a week later on the phone.

She said she was ready to drop everything and move in with us. But there are a few things my husband and I have to do. First of all, Mom doesn't want to be our maid, so she won't be doing housework.



Secondly, my mother asks us to register her in our apartment so that she can receive the capital's pension. And third, she wants us to pay her a salary to care for her grandchildren. "Raising a grandmother costs money," my mother said, laughing at the end of our conversation.

She believes that, having left her home, she will have to lose a lot. She will have to quit her job, so she will no longer get the money. And she doesn't want to sit on our neck, so she needs a steady salary.



I don’t need to explain how shocked I was at the time. You see, my mother needs guarantees! When my husband found out about it, he made a scandal. He said he had a better opinion of his mother-in-law, and she was a mercantile and petty person.

Of course, it's hard to disagree with that. I didn't expect that from my mom. I thought she loved her grandchildren and would do anything for them. But it's not. I wanted the best. I started cooking my mother’s room and bought new clothes.

But now it doesn't make sense. We haven't spoken in 2 months. My kids are always asking me when I’m going to see my grandmother. What do I say to them?

Life Wisdom: What does this story teach us? Not every grandmother dares to ask for payment for her work. And communication with grandchildren on a permanent basis to call another language does not turn. It is clear that Angelina Stepanovna is a self-sufficient woman. Even in adulthood, she continued to work. Why should she just drop everything and move to another city?



I do not believe that the requirements, if you can call them so, Angelina Stepanovna are groundless. The problem here is that a woman's daughter thinks her mother owes her something by definition. But before you ask for anything, it is important to understand that you have to give something in return. Agreed?