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Should I leave my children with my grandmother?
Many young people are in a hurry to have a child early, immediately after the wedding. Because a child is happiness. Yes, happiness, no one argues, but also a great responsibility, on the other hand. And when the first euphoria passes after the birth of a child, young parents face a lot of worries and problems that can not always cope with themselves.
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And it turns out that a young mother does not want to stay at home with her baby for too long, because she wants to build a career. What is the first thought that comes to mind? Of course you can. leave. But should I? Editorial "Site" I decided to look into it.
In our country there are clear rules that prescribe the grandmother to take care of the grandson at any cost. This means that the grandmother should give up all her business and devote herself to her grandson. It’s not that bad, but only if Grandma wants it. There are women who have retired and only dream of babysitting. But these are not all women...
A modern grandmother is a woman from 40 to 60 years old, which for no reason can not be called old. She has a job and a hobby, she is active and full of energy. This woman realized herself, raised her children, freed herself from the troubles and just started living for herself. Or she retired and planned it on a minute-by-minute basis: yoga every other day, going to the theater with friends on Friday night, traveling to Spain next week.
The modern grandmother enjoys every moment in her life, because she had such an opportunity. And then the children say that she needs to give up everything and devote herself to her grandson. And often such a request is not in the form of a question. Children are selfish, they begin to decide for their mother what to do and try to subordinate her to the interests of their family. They don’t even know what their mother wants.
It is believed that the grandmother is selfish, because she does not want to sit with the child. Many grandmothers, despite their desires, abandon everything and devote themselves to their grandson. But can a grandmother refuse such a request without guilt and criticism from her children? Let's figure it out.
DepositPhotos
All young parents should understand one simple thing: caring for a child is the responsibility of those who decide to give him life. If you want to have a child, you should immediately think about who will sit with him and whether you can raise him yourself.
Even knowing that grandparents are happy fosterDon’t take it for granted and certainly don’t count on it completely. After all, you have a baby for yourself, not for your grandmother.
Your parents shouldn’t sacrifice themselves for your children. They can, but they shouldn't. They can always be counted on in emergency situations, they definitely will not leave you in trouble or granddaughter, but this is more of a bonus, a gift, not a duty.
551294
Young parents complain that first grandmothers promise to help, and after the appearance of a child, their position changes dramatically: they can not, they are tired, they need to work. As a result, children are offended, conflicts arise. But grandparents can change their circumstances.
They are free people, suddenly they will have a chance to go to work or a whirlwind romance will capture their heart. Or it just turns out that they can no longer sit with their grandson. After all, this is a difficult job, no matter how hard.
Whatever grandparents promise, they always have the right to change their minds. Therefore, you need to think in advance how to cope without their daily help. Grandparents, in turn, need to set acceptable boundaries. You don’t have to promise more than you want and can do. Better to promise less, then help beyond that will be accepted as a gift.
DepositPhotos
Of course, this does not apply to all families. There are grandmothers who are happy to sit with their grandson, and then grandchildren become the main joy of life, even meaning. This is an acceptable situation, the main thing is that both sides are not against it. Sometimes there is a situation where there is simply no other way out. For example, in families where the mother alone raises a child.
Grandma is an important member of the family, children need to communicate with her, and vice versa. The grandmother will share wisdom with the children, and the children will fill the life of the grandmother with fun and joy. But it's not a free nurse, that's what you need to understand. She will take care of the children best of all: she will eat deliciously, buy a new interesting toy, tell an interesting story, take them to the sea, but all this should be on a voluntary basis.
Your parents don’t just live for you, nor should you put your life on the altar of your children. You, your parents, and even your children need to understand one important thing: none of you is obliged to do anything just out of a sense of duty and sacrifice everything for the good of the other. If you understand this simple thing, life will become easier, and relationships with loved ones will be much better.
What do you think about that? Tell us in the comments!
DepositPhotos
And it turns out that a young mother does not want to stay at home with her baby for too long, because she wants to build a career. What is the first thought that comes to mind? Of course you can. leave. But should I? Editorial "Site" I decided to look into it.
In our country there are clear rules that prescribe the grandmother to take care of the grandson at any cost. This means that the grandmother should give up all her business and devote herself to her grandson. It’s not that bad, but only if Grandma wants it. There are women who have retired and only dream of babysitting. But these are not all women...
A modern grandmother is a woman from 40 to 60 years old, which for no reason can not be called old. She has a job and a hobby, she is active and full of energy. This woman realized herself, raised her children, freed herself from the troubles and just started living for herself. Or she retired and planned it on a minute-by-minute basis: yoga every other day, going to the theater with friends on Friday night, traveling to Spain next week.
The modern grandmother enjoys every moment in her life, because she had such an opportunity. And then the children say that she needs to give up everything and devote herself to her grandson. And often such a request is not in the form of a question. Children are selfish, they begin to decide for their mother what to do and try to subordinate her to the interests of their family. They don’t even know what their mother wants.
It is believed that the grandmother is selfish, because she does not want to sit with the child. Many grandmothers, despite their desires, abandon everything and devote themselves to their grandson. But can a grandmother refuse such a request without guilt and criticism from her children? Let's figure it out.
DepositPhotos
All young parents should understand one simple thing: caring for a child is the responsibility of those who decide to give him life. If you want to have a child, you should immediately think about who will sit with him and whether you can raise him yourself.
Even knowing that grandparents are happy fosterDon’t take it for granted and certainly don’t count on it completely. After all, you have a baby for yourself, not for your grandmother.
Your parents shouldn’t sacrifice themselves for your children. They can, but they shouldn't. They can always be counted on in emergency situations, they definitely will not leave you in trouble or granddaughter, but this is more of a bonus, a gift, not a duty.
551294
Young parents complain that first grandmothers promise to help, and after the appearance of a child, their position changes dramatically: they can not, they are tired, they need to work. As a result, children are offended, conflicts arise. But grandparents can change their circumstances.
They are free people, suddenly they will have a chance to go to work or a whirlwind romance will capture their heart. Or it just turns out that they can no longer sit with their grandson. After all, this is a difficult job, no matter how hard.
Whatever grandparents promise, they always have the right to change their minds. Therefore, you need to think in advance how to cope without their daily help. Grandparents, in turn, need to set acceptable boundaries. You don’t have to promise more than you want and can do. Better to promise less, then help beyond that will be accepted as a gift.
DepositPhotos
Of course, this does not apply to all families. There are grandmothers who are happy to sit with their grandson, and then grandchildren become the main joy of life, even meaning. This is an acceptable situation, the main thing is that both sides are not against it. Sometimes there is a situation where there is simply no other way out. For example, in families where the mother alone raises a child.
Grandma is an important member of the family, children need to communicate with her, and vice versa. The grandmother will share wisdom with the children, and the children will fill the life of the grandmother with fun and joy. But it's not a free nurse, that's what you need to understand. She will take care of the children best of all: she will eat deliciously, buy a new interesting toy, tell an interesting story, take them to the sea, but all this should be on a voluntary basis.
Your parents don’t just live for you, nor should you put your life on the altar of your children. You, your parents, and even your children need to understand one important thing: none of you is obliged to do anything just out of a sense of duty and sacrifice everything for the good of the other. If you understand this simple thing, life will become easier, and relationships with loved ones will be much better.
What do you think about that? Tell us in the comments!
