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We have a separate budget, and the husband forces to give birth to a second child
“The husband needs a second child, but he does not cope with the first,” complains our reader Alina. She couldn't get pregnant for a long time. But when she did manage to do so, the long-awaited baby destroyed the family idyll. Why the woman started thinking about divorce, read more in the article.
My husband wanted the perfect family. I wanted to have a great wedding and then start planning my pregnancy. I didn't mind being a mom. But in reality, everything is not as simple as in dreams.
The fact is that for several years I could not get pregnant. Whatever we did, nothing helped. Of course, against this background, our relationship began to deteriorate. And then, like thunder in the clear sky, two stripes on the dough. My husband and I cried with happiness.
My whole pregnancy Vanya carried me in my arms. He took care of me, helped with everything. We designed a children's room for our baby together, bought clothes and other trinkets for him. I thought my life was perfect.
And then I gave birth. This always seems to be a joyous event that has divided my life into before and after. First, there was no trace of her husband’s help. Vanya seemed to feel absolutely nothing for the child. Second, my husband started treating me like we were strangers.
Friends said that it is normal, everyone is going through the postpartum period. We need to be patient, the husband will freak out and calm down. But it only got worse every day. Vanya began to limit me in everything.
I'll start with the banal: I can't take the bathroom. This is a very long time, plus you need to save water because it is expensive. According to him, it is enough to run in the shower for 5 minutes. Especially how can I spend so much time in the bathroom while our baby is unattended.
And when I defend myself and say that Vanya can babysit the baby too, he says it's not his job. Think of it! My husband says he makes money and supports us. But diapers and feeding are exclusively my prerogative. A man never gets up at night when his son is crying. He just doesn't care.
How to talk to your husband and is it possible to talk about money? I don't know who my husband provides for, but when I started receiving government payments, he split our budgets. I have to humiliate myself for him to give me a penny, because the money from payments, of course, is not enough for anything.
My husband just likes to feel superior to me. He often criticizes my cooking, says I can do better. Sometimes he doesn't like the way I clean the apartment. Vanya literally finds a splinter and asks why it is here.
I'm so tired! I don't understand why my husband became such a despot. Our son is about a year old and Vanya is still acting like he's not his baby. But the worst thing is that recently my husband announced that he needs a second child. They say that we are not getting younger, it is better to get a second now. Vanya wants a girl.
I don't know what to do. I'm scared! I can't imagine what will happen when another baby or baby comes along. I am not ready to give birth again, especially since I did not fully recover after the first birth. With such a schedule...
I haven’t said anything to my parents all this time. They really like Vanya. And I didn't want Mom and Dad to be disappointed in him. But now I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I want to get divorced because I can’t imagine my future with such a man. Now the language does not turn to call it that!
Life Wisdom: What does this story teach us? Can a man become a despot overnight, or were there preconditions? Who knows, maybe Alina just didn’t notice them or didn’t want to pay attention to them. A woman is in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. We need to get out of them as soon as possible.
Of course, I could say that Alina and Vanya need to go to a family psychologist, sort out everything together. But something tells me this man won't even want to hear about it. He has no right to force his wife to get pregnant again. It's inhuman!
Tell me, what would you do in the place of the main character?
My husband wanted the perfect family. I wanted to have a great wedding and then start planning my pregnancy. I didn't mind being a mom. But in reality, everything is not as simple as in dreams.
The fact is that for several years I could not get pregnant. Whatever we did, nothing helped. Of course, against this background, our relationship began to deteriorate. And then, like thunder in the clear sky, two stripes on the dough. My husband and I cried with happiness.
My whole pregnancy Vanya carried me in my arms. He took care of me, helped with everything. We designed a children's room for our baby together, bought clothes and other trinkets for him. I thought my life was perfect.
And then I gave birth. This always seems to be a joyous event that has divided my life into before and after. First, there was no trace of her husband’s help. Vanya seemed to feel absolutely nothing for the child. Second, my husband started treating me like we were strangers.
Friends said that it is normal, everyone is going through the postpartum period. We need to be patient, the husband will freak out and calm down. But it only got worse every day. Vanya began to limit me in everything.
I'll start with the banal: I can't take the bathroom. This is a very long time, plus you need to save water because it is expensive. According to him, it is enough to run in the shower for 5 minutes. Especially how can I spend so much time in the bathroom while our baby is unattended.
And when I defend myself and say that Vanya can babysit the baby too, he says it's not his job. Think of it! My husband says he makes money and supports us. But diapers and feeding are exclusively my prerogative. A man never gets up at night when his son is crying. He just doesn't care.
How to talk to your husband and is it possible to talk about money? I don't know who my husband provides for, but when I started receiving government payments, he split our budgets. I have to humiliate myself for him to give me a penny, because the money from payments, of course, is not enough for anything.
My husband just likes to feel superior to me. He often criticizes my cooking, says I can do better. Sometimes he doesn't like the way I clean the apartment. Vanya literally finds a splinter and asks why it is here.
I'm so tired! I don't understand why my husband became such a despot. Our son is about a year old and Vanya is still acting like he's not his baby. But the worst thing is that recently my husband announced that he needs a second child. They say that we are not getting younger, it is better to get a second now. Vanya wants a girl.
I don't know what to do. I'm scared! I can't imagine what will happen when another baby or baby comes along. I am not ready to give birth again, especially since I did not fully recover after the first birth. With such a schedule...
I haven’t said anything to my parents all this time. They really like Vanya. And I didn't want Mom and Dad to be disappointed in him. But now I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I want to get divorced because I can’t imagine my future with such a man. Now the language does not turn to call it that!
Life Wisdom: What does this story teach us? Can a man become a despot overnight, or were there preconditions? Who knows, maybe Alina just didn’t notice them or didn’t want to pay attention to them. A woman is in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. We need to get out of them as soon as possible.
Of course, I could say that Alina and Vanya need to go to a family psychologist, sort out everything together. But something tells me this man won't even want to hear about it. He has no right to force his wife to get pregnant again. It's inhuman!
Tell me, what would you do in the place of the main character?
The whole family persuaded Svetlana to marry Igor, but they did not know one important detail.
When the long-awaited peace will come